Svengoolie: March 2007 Archives

So- is March going out like a lamb? Maybe like a mixed gyros plate (that has lamb, doesn’t it?) Well, tonight, we go from lamb- to the usual ham, and I do mean me. We’ve got the pharaoh-frightening feature “Abbott and Costello Meet the Mummy.” This one features the music video parody I mentioned earlier this week- the parody of “Gold Digger” –re-done as “Tomb Digger”- with Candi from B 96, and our former co-worker Sarah as a cute mummy. Many viewers really enjoyed the video, especially the things that corresponded to things in the actual Kanye West video. If you haven’t seen this one, you definitely want to give it a chance- where else can you see Richard Deacon- Mel Cooley from the classic “Dick Van Dyke Show”- as the leader of an ancient Egyptian cult, and someone you’re supposed to be AFRAID of?! You also get a look at Lou Costello’s daughter- we’ll point out where in the movie- and, some pretty cool mummy stuff-although some people think the mummy costume is kind of like a pair of “footie” pajamas…you can decide for yourself. The film is typical of a lot of movies of the time period, with some strange dance numbers, and even a prolonged musical number with a woman singing ‘You Came A Long Way from Saint Louie”- for no other reason than to get in a song! This was the last Bud and Lou movie for Universal- And, you’ll notice, even though they have character names, they constantly refer to each other by their REAL names! They really weren’t getting along real well during this period, so see if you can spot any of the animosity that led to their finally splitting up. This movie came out in 1955, and Bud and Lou split up within two years. There were several reasons, but money had a lot to do with it. Their salary as a team was originally split in the traditional way- 60-40- with more money going to the straight man, as was the custom. Along the way, Lou got mad, decided he was the important part of the team, and demanded the situation be reversed- that HE get the 60%. Bud actually begrudgingly agreed, but got really mad when Lou wanted the team to be billed as “Costello and Abbott!” Universal sided with Bud, and that never happened, but it certainly cemented the anger between the two men, which, along with other factors, finally brought about the end of the team. Both of them ended up in financial difficulties with the Internal Revenue Service (by the way, have YOU done your taxes yet?!) Gee, I hope Tombstone and I never get to that point… Anyway, watch tonight – it’ll be a good time- and- you’ll find another, different Sven flick on Me-TV at 1 am !!! Don’t forget to send me your feedback on the shows- svengoolie@wciu.com - and that “wraps” up another blog! (get it? Mummy? Wrap?… and you’ll hear me “rap” in the show tonight! Oooh- multi-level blog comedy!)

It’s kind of cool to hear people site me –of all people- as an influence on their careers. I think I’ve mentioned before, that guys working in mainstream Hollywood endeavors, thanks to the internet, have found ways to contact me, and told me that they used to watch me- and what they saw actually influenced what they wanted to do. I recently heard from Adam Rivkin, a writer and producer, who’s worked on “Small Soldiers” and “Detroit Rock City” among other films- he’s actually starring in his own upcoming caveman comedy “Homo Erectus” featuring the double-personality woman from the smash NBC superhero show “Heroes.” Adam was a big “Son of Svengoolie” fan- and was telling me how much he loved my stuff! It’s a great compliment to have people like Adam, who are making it in this very competitive business, send me a little virtual pat on the back…although I always remember what someone I know said- a pat in the back is just about 15 inches from a kick in the seat. I have a lot of friends who are out to L.A., and who have done very well. You’ve seen Miriam Flynn, who was in Second City here, as Eddie’s wife in the original “Vacation”- and in other movies and television shows. Melanie Moore Paxton, who was in our “Crew on the U,” was in those Glad container commercials, and has been in TV shows, including the new Sitcom “Notes from the Underbelly.” One of my old pals from high school, Randy Waldman, an amazing musician, who used to hang out and get into trouble with Doug Graves and me, is a session player who has worked with George Benson, Frank Sinatra (yeah, the Chairman of the Board, baby!), Barbra Streisand, and so many more, plays on tracks for movies and TV shows, live shows like major award programs, and concerts-he was on the Streisand tour that stopped here. If you really want to be impressed, get this- if you ever saw “Who Framed Roger Rabbit”-with the piano duet between Daffy Duck and Donald Duck- Randy played BOTH the piano parts! I remember him telling me about how he and Isaac Hayes in a studio, playing their favorite television show themes! Even as a young kid, he could play ragtime piano like a pro, and he, Doug, and I use to make our own 8 mm movies (this was before everybody had a video camera, kids…)..also out there is Another Second City alumnus, Eric Boardman, who has done a lot of cable network shows, and, back when the musical “Beatlemania” first came out, hashed out an idea with me for – “Monkee-mania!” It was …uh…never produced-actually, never even fully written. I may still have the one-sheet promotional poster I made for it somewhere, though…anyway, I’m proud to know that successful people out in La La Land are my friends- or even feel they should credit me , in some way, for their being where they are now…(if this as our show, you would now here “Berwyn?!”)

Last time, you remember, we were going through some of my Svengoolie e-mails for questions, comments, and complaints- let’s continue on our quest… John in Detroit was writing to say he used to watch me in the 80s on WKBD when the show ran on all the Field Communications stations. He has DirectTV there, and wants to know if he can get our show. Actually, I constantly get e-mails and letters from all over the country, from people who want to see the program in their area. The bad news is- I don’t think any satellite provider will be willing to get you a Chicago station if you live outside the Chicago broadcast area (or Milwaukee or South Bend- where the shows also run)- unless a local station in your area were to contact our Weigel Broadcasting folks here, and try to hammer out a way to run the show on their station-which still would be a complicated feat due to the movie rights- there’s truly no way our show can run there-unless our company buys a station there, but I’m not privy to any expansion plans. You can always do what lots of people tell me they do- bribe a friend or relative in this area to tape shows off-air, and send them to you! Rob says he remembers me from my Fox cartoon hosting days and asked “wasn’t there some kind of trash-man character?” yes, there was, Rob- and it’s a character that, for some reason, people have been bringing up to me recently- he was Captain Dustpan, Fighter of Filth! He wore a dustpan as a mask, a garbage bag as a cape, and had all sorts of serialized adventures, fighting foes involving littering, pollution, wasting water, etc. From what people say to me these days, the Captain still holds an important place in their memories. Hope you don’t mind, but I’d like to respond to a FAQ regarding “Stooge-a-palooza”- every week, I get inquiries as to where Rich Koz gets those Stooges shirts. Some, I’ve had for years- some we “created” ourselves here, like the polo shirts with an iron-on decal of one of the Stooges’ faces on it, and , some of the main ones I’ve worn were brought back by a staff member from a visit to Las Vegas. I really don’t have a nearby source for Stooge shirts. On-line, you can check out www.soitenlystooges.com -they also have a mail order catalog- or, at least, they used to… Finally, Bill asks- is the coffin I use the original one that Jerry G. Bishop used in his Svengoolie days? Yes, Bill, it is- actually, it was Jerry’s second coffin- the first was a gray, typical laying-down job that his guests would sign- his second (and now my) coffin, was the colorful stand-up job, designed by me, and built by WFLD stagehand Bobby Walker. When I became “Son of”, I repainted the face from Jerry’s Sven kisser to mine, and re-painted the “Zelda” skull at the bottom into Tombstone. I find it amusing that the coffin is older than some of the people who work on the show with me! Got something to ask-or tell me? Send it to me here at svengoolie@wciu.com -and, please check out the rest of this site…remember , you can access our latest webisode- right from this page! Check to your upper right…

Shall I do another blog of feedback to your various e-mails? Why not?! …first, Bill from Milwaukee (not Berwyn)says he’s been mad at me since I started writing this blog, saying “you expect me to READ?!” Sorry, Bill (if indeed you’re even reading this)…but you did remind me of the fact that I’ve now been writing these daily blogs since October 1st of last year- bringing us to almost 6 months worth. It’s like having written a small book (actually, not that small!) –so, when I finally get around to writing a real book, it should be a cinch.(Does anybody use that term any more?) Long time fan Rick (thank him for posting 80s “Son of” clips on YouTube) asked about the source of a bunch of Sven sound effects. I think I’ve mentioned before- those, especially those I inherited from the original 70s Sven, Jerry G. Bishop, have come from many different sources-old comedy records, commercials, tv shows, and just guys who worked with us doing stuff into a microphone. I never knew where a bunch of them came from, including one of my favorites, the guy sheepishly apologizing –“Uh, no, heh, sorry, heh-heh-heh…” -no idea where that ever came from. The “ga-hey-HEY-Pooey!” was a clip from a comedy record by a comedian named “the Old Philosopher” (I’m sure you have all his records…) and the voice saying “he pay a buck a piece for ‘em”- was actually Jerry G. himself, doing a voice. Various other “yes” and “no” answers and pain noises- I really have no idea where they were from- Jerry never really kept track , even back then- he’d just remember certain ones that he or a fellow deejay or announcer recorded for him. It’s always strange to hear a sound bite that I recorded while working with Jerry around 1973-74 at WMAQ radio come up when we’re recording a current Sven show! Dennis B. wrote about a really good point- that there’s a trend for a lot of people to lump horror, fantasy, and sci-fi all into one genre. He says that, granted, horror can have a sci-fi premise, and sci-fi can drift into fantasy, and some fantasy can be full of horror- but- what gives with lumping Freddy Krueger, Mr. Spock, and Harry Potter into the same section at Blockbuster? (There’s a threesome of mismatched room-mates!) Well, Dennis, I think a lot of places just don’t want to have to break things down into that many specific categories, or don’t have someone who would make the distinction as to which category a specific movie or book should be in. I guess they feel that anything that deals in something other than reality should go into the same pile…but, then again, a lot of dramas and romantic comedies don’t always fit into stark reality. Are we going to put everything into one big bin? It’s kind of like those dollar dvd displays at the drug store… Running out of time here- let’s continue with Sven feedback- tomorrow!

I’ve been meaning to ask you guys this question- which came to mind as we were working on an upcoming show, where we’ll be doing a more contemporary song as part of the show (I’m talking- gasp -Justin Timberlake here!) What I’d like your opinion on is- do you prefer for me to parody oldies- classic rock- or newer songs? In the past, I’ve heard from viewers who don’t recognize some of the newer songs- and, on the other hand, younger viewers who have no idea what song I’m doing if it’s earlier than the 90s. I know, I know- even if you don’t know what song it is, you do tell me that you were still entertained- but it works better for you if you know the song I’m doing. One of our recent favorites is coming up this weekend- the take-off on Kanye West’s “Gold Digger”- which we gave an Egyptian slant, and called “Tomb Digger.” (By the way, I have no doubt that one of the reasons it is a big fave with some of you guys is the presence of our lovely B 96 – FM friend Candi and our “yummy mummy” Sarah!) even though the original tune got a LOT of exposure, and still plays on some radio stations, I heard from people who couldn’t figure out what the song was supposed to be. Personally, I prefer when you guys know the song and the lyrics to see how we try to approximate the same sort of lyrics and sounds in our parodies. I guess that makes sense with anything that someone parodies- if people aren’t familiar with it, it’s not going to be as much fun for them! But, I guess we also broaden the horizons of those unfamiliar with, say, a song- it might entice them to find the original, so they can understand how we changed the words- or, to see how well Doug Graves did the arrangement and instrumentation. I think that we currently do a pretty decent mix of songs from different eras- yes, I know that when we had “Abbott and Costello Meet the Killer Boris Karloff” and I did “Swanee” as “Swami”- we were presenting a song from around the 1920s or so! Now- THAT’S an oldie! But- most of the time, if we’re not doing songs like that, that many of us might have learned back in school, we’re doing popular songs ranging from the late 1950s all the way up to today. You’ve seen me rap (or, at least, TRY to) like I do in the “Tomb Digger” song. I think there have even been times when we veered dangerously close to operatic numbers. Regardless- let me know how you feel- svengoolie@wciu.com - even if it’s just to say that, whatever we do is fine by you. I’m not saying that I’ll limit what kind of songs we do after your feedback, but I might try to lean in the direction of the type of tunes that most of you want to hear…

And now- another edition of Chia Watch 2007! You might’ve read here last week that we are endeavoring to grow a Chia Head that had been sitting around our office, totally un-Chia-ed, for over a year. With George Blaise at the helm, we soaked, filled and seeded this Chia cabeza. The first thing we noticed- Man, that thing uses up a lot of water! Seems like every time you stroll by, the Chia water level has gone down drastically. So- you definitely have to keep the darn thing hydrated. We’ve been checking it every day, and , about a full week in- WE HAVE SPROUTS!!! Hmmm…it seems that most of them are low on the left side of the head, and the top of the head ones are- well, they’re still seeds. We’ve determined that the reason for so much growth on the one side may be due to the fact that The sun hits the Chia Head mainly on that side- so, some rotation seems to be in order (it never mentioned that in the instructions! I guess they figure you’ll just be placing it in a full sun area.)The sprouts that have emerged were fisrt just small white growths, but now have actually shown green coloration. Isn’t this exciting?…well, I’m guessing, not really to many of you Sven blog readers. Okay- so, what if these green sprouts will eventually become, say, like the Triffids in “Day of the Triffids?” They’ll be attacking staff members, rummaging through our desk drawers, making unapproved long distance calls…or, they could be like the monsters from “Navy VS the Night Monsters” and grow into walking, grabbing trees that ooze acid and attack small dogs and Mamie Van Doren! And don’t even suggest they might be like the floral fiend of “Little Shop of Horrors!” It’s bad enough that we have to keep the Chia Head full of water- but, BLOOD?! Hardly. But- have we created a monster?! One that comes back every year, at the same time, much like the Clapper 2 and those hook thingies that you just pull the tab on to make sure they’ll never support a Christmas stocking again?! Anyway- with definite growth on one side, we’ll continue to water and rotate our Chia project- there has been some discussion of maneuvering it to give it certain hairstyles- with the lack of sprouting seeds on top, we thought it might end up resembling Larry Fine of the Three Stooges, with the wild fringe of hair and a bald top (very popular with Bozo as well.) I was wondering if we could grow the plants on one side really long, and end up doing a Chia-comb-over, in a sort of Donald Trump way. Wow- the commercials were right- it IS endless fun. In a dull, boring sort of way. Further Chia Watch 2007 reports to come! Right now, I’ve got to go get more water for the darn thing…

Do you think the TV business is all glamour and great times? I think most of us in this business- although we love it- would be happy to tell you, working in television is…well, it’s work, just like any kind of job. For on-camera people like me, you get the added incentive of having some of your privacy taken away, since people recognize you all the time (yes, even without the Sven gear!) Additionally, there’s that little nuisance we call ratings- that can make or break you in many cases- and the harsh reality of things outside of your control , like changes in management. There’s that lovely event of new management coming in, and deciding it’s going to be a whole new world- which means getting rid of parts of the old one. My last station ended up in a situation like that- a new station manageress was coming in, and , in a newspaper article, revealed her plans for a new news show at a certain time. Unfortunately, it was the current time that my show was on.(Yes- in this business, it is not uncommon to first find out you’re on your way out or fired by reading it in a newspaper!) While certain management people were giving me the “oh, you’re jumping to conclusions” speech, as soon as the new boss came in, it became apparent that I’d be going. She never once spoke to me, even when I said “hello” to her. Television- the business with a heart! So, no matter how successful your shows were- no matter how good the ratings were- no matter how you proved yourself (like, say, becoming a weatherman, and doing any number of different jobs successfully)- once you were part of the station’s “old image” and not part of the bold new vision for the station, awayyy you went!!! I feel pretty fortunate to be at a station with people running it who are totally different from people like I’ve mentioned above- I guess the bottom line is, they’re real people. Sure, the business aspect is involved, but the human part of it is always evident here. I was reminded of that when recently, a guy who was a good weatherman, well-liked, and obviously doing a good job- found himself suddenly out at the station he’d been at for several years. It’s the same thing with radio stations- you never know when someone in control has a “better” idea- whether it really is better or not- and you’re out of a job in the blink of an eye. Many times, you’re not even given the chance to say goodbye to the loyal people who tuned in your programs- or, to say thank you to them for their support. Maybe you’ve noticed that I do say thank you every once in a while- I guess it’s from old habits, just in case. As I said, though, I’m happy and fortunate to be at a station that has real people at the helm. And- remember- it doesn’t hurt for YOU to thank them for keeping the shows you like on the air. People always have a tendency to write or call when they want to complain, but , not as often when they like things. Remember, you can contact me with either view point of my shows- svengoolie@wciu.com - meanwhile, may you never read about your upcoming unemployment in a newspaper article!

The Svengoolie cavalcade of “Abbott and Costello” continues on “the U” tonight, when I bring you “A & C Meet the Killer- Boris Karloff!” It’s a classic “old dark house” type mystery, with a dark and stormy night at a remote hotel- with a prominent lawyer being murdered and the main suspect being- Lou Costello! Other suspects include the great Boris Karloff, as a sinister swami – who puts Lou in his sights along the way as a potential victim. The film’s conclusion, in a huge underground cavern, is actually pretty cool! Karloff’s role in this film was originally supposed to be played by a woman- maybe the sultry chick who tries to slip Lou a Mickey (not Rooney) in this version? When you watch tonight, I’ll also tell you what comedian this film was originally supposed to star…this film was re-written for Bud and Lou after the success of “A &C Meet Frankenstein” (to repeat- yes, we will show that this fall!)- and the studio wanted another scary thriller to follow it up. Coincidentally, it stars Boris, who was NOT a part of “…Meet Frankenstein”- featuring the Monster he made famous! One of the writers on this film was Hugh Wedlock Jr.- who had quite a long career writing for classic comedians, including Jack Benny. He was also a writer on one of the most popular topical comedy shows of the late 60s-“Rowan and Martin’s Laugh-In”- and he even wrote some episodes of “Different Strokes!” (I’m surprised that in tonight’s film, he never had Lou say, ala Arnold- “Whatchu talkin’ about, Abbott?”) For those who haven’t read this before- let me explain that we’re going by a schedule imposed on us by Universal- which is why these A & C movies keep turning up, this often, in this order. Yes, I have gotten your e-mails and letters, complaining about this. As I’ve said- in order to get the Universal biggies, which WILL be coming, we must go by the schedule they set up for us. But- never let it be said that Sven doesn’t listen to his viewers- not that I have much power around here, but- this time around -I was able to convince our fearless leaders here to run a different Sven movie at 1 am on Me-TV, rather than add one more A & C repeat to the mix. So, as you may have noticed last week- you’ll get a non–Bud and Lou feature on Me-TV, each week of this round of A & C on “the U”…just this once. Whether I can help or not,(and, even whether I agree with you or not!) your TV pal Sven is always listening to what you have to say. You can always hit me with your feedback (and virtual rubber chickens) at svengoolie@wciu.com …see you tonight!

Back again , continuing the story from yesterday- I was talking about rumors , this one being that the original Sven was banned from TV for putting a hamster in a microwave oven (never happened- scroll down and read yesterday’s blog for the full story.) I wondered if it was confused with the rumor that Cleveland’s “the Ghoul” had blown up a frog with a firecracker on air. Then , I wondered if it’s like the rumor/urban legend that sprang up in every city that had a Bozo show back in the 60s. I’ll bet you even know this one- that a kid was playing the “Grand –Prize- GAME!”- and missed a crucial bucket with his ping pong ball. He supposedly swore, and Bozo said (in at least one version) “Oh, that’s a Bozo No-No!” – to which our darling child responded – “Up yours, clowny!” (or, variation on that theme-“cram it ,clowny”-“shove it, Boz”- and several versions I wouldn’t feel comfortable writing!) This story has supposedly circulated in every city that had a Bozo show, which means at least 30 or more! Maybe you know someone who swears they saw it, or knew someone who saw it, or had an uncle who knew a nurse who had a cousin who was there. Read this carefully- as far as the Bozo show in Chicago is concerned- IT’S NOT TRUE. We go to the eminent scholar Doug Graves, my learned musical sidekick. The event would have taken place during the Bob Bell Bozo years, when they had the full Big Top Band. Doug has played with musicians who were in that band- and there for all the broadcasts- and they said it never happened ( and , believe me- if it did- musicians would be the first to be telling the story!) Now- did it happen in one of the other cities? Possibly…but the story supposedly happened all over the country, on various Bozo shows. So- anyway- no, Jerry G. was not suspended from Sven duty for cooking a hamster in a microwave. He was cancelled when Kaiser Broadcasting took over the station, and, after promising him Sven would continue, decided to bring in “the Ghoul” (hey, didn’t he blow up a frog…?) as horror host on all their stations, replacing Sven. As I may have mentioned before- that didn’t go over well, and Ghoul was sent packing fairly rapidly. That’s what you get for messing with the Svengoolie family in Chicago. As long as we don’t send my brother Fredo to work out syndication. (I’d better explain that’s a “Godfather” joke before I start more rumors- “Wasn’t Fredo the original Son of Svengoolie, but he was banned for rigging slots for Moe Green at the Tropicana?”) Come back tomorrow for more blog- I’ll make you an offer you can’t refuse….

The e-mails just keep coming at svengoolie@wciu.com (not to mention svenonu@aol.com - for those of you who e-mail the first, and have it bounce back, try the second )-and there’s always stuff I’d like to share with you guys. First- once again, for some reason, we have been inundated with requests to have us mention a birthday, an anniversary, etc. Much as I would love to help make these special days even more special for you Sven fans- we don’t do birthdays. Or anniversaries. Or personal checks (no, wait, that’s our t-shirts.) The reason? Well, as I may have mentioned before, it goes back to my “Son of” days at WFLD. We mentioned birthdays on air, and the list got longer and longer each week- eventually, we’d have Tombstone read the list while it ran on the screen- while a thrill for those listed, it made for some pretty boring tv for everybody else. Then, we put two and two together and realized that a major portion of these names were not really birthdays- they were just people who wanted to hear their names on television. So- it became safer to not do them. Also, it ends up being unfair to mention some, but , if we don’t have time, or we get it too late, not to mention others. That reminds me of something else- there are times when we’re shooting shows way ahead of their airdate, due to our production schedule-and we’d get the request after the show was taped already. So- please- don’t ask us to acknowledge birthdays, weddings, anniversaries, etc. Exceptions may occur once in a great while, and even then, I know it’s not a good idea. So-let this be my official personal congratulations to you on these occasions. Hope you have a great (fill in the blank.) On to another topic- Dave, who I met at a recent appearance, and whose son Alex dressed as a very nice replica of yours truly, asked if I had ever heard this rumor, which was a huge urban legend at Homewood’s Willow School back when he was a kid. The rumor was that Svengoolie, then Jerry G. Bishop, had been banned from tv for- get this- cooking a hamster in a microwave oven during a “live” broadcast. Obviously, this never happened (I don’t even think channel 32 HAD a microwave oven back then in the early 70s, not that Jerry ever would have used it for that purpose.) I had never heard that story before, but wondered if it was confused with the story/rumor that Cleveland’s “the Ghoul” was once suspended/kicked off the air for blowing up a live frog with a firecracker. Not sure that ever happened either, although the Ghoul did love to blow up stuff, supposedly. Maybe it’s one of those rumors/urban legends like the one that sprang up in every city that had a Bozo show…hmmm…I’m running out of room here, so let’s pick this up tomorrow!

I sometimes get the feeling that when people drop by a television station, they sort of expect it to be like those old movie scenes when someone was walking through the back lot of a movie studio…you know, milling around them are people dressed as showgirls, astronauts, gladiators, cowboys, maybe a stray Frankenstein monster…but, in real life, it’s mostly like any other business office. People will sometimes get excited when I happen to come through in my Svengoolie regalia- unless they’re here for the First Business program, and don’t watch television much- then, they’re trying to figure out who the weirdo is. Yet, there are times when , walking through our reception area, you might see people more famous than your old pal Mister Goolie. Just recently, you might have done a double- take when you saw Kim Fields- who starred in “Living Single’ and “the Facts of Life”- who had stopped by to record some elements for Me-TV, and to promote an upcoming play. Not long before that- you might have had to plead guilty to having seen Judge Maria Lopez- the newest member of our judicial block on “the U”-who was in town to promote her show at various radio stations. Speaking of radio, you might run into veteran sportscaster Les Grobstein, on his way in to do “Sports Edition” with Kenny McReynolds. I’ve happened upon legendary deejay and radio personality Clark Weber in our waiting area, and held the door open for Stephen J. Cannell, creator of “the A Team” and so many other shows. I also held the door for Byron Allen, comedian and tv host who first hit it big on the old “Real People” show. (Maybe I should just have a business card that says ‘Doorman to the stars- or, those who think they are.’)When Bears legend Otis Wilson came here, he spotted my coffin on our set and said “Svengoolie! Man, that #@*% has been around for a long time!” Of course, the backlot atmosphere is always alive and well when we do the “doggie auditions”- you know, when we bring in the dogs for those little blurbs that tell you Rover is from Harwood Heights, and can’t live without watching “King of Queens.” I never realized our station appealed to such a large four-legged demographic! Good thing we don’t run “Dr. Katz” (get it? Dogs? Cats?…right, I’ll continue…) Meanwhile, getting back from canines to celebs, you might spot a political figure in our hallways as well- I recall turning a corner, only to be greeted by one of Illinois’ favorite sons, the late Paul Simon (not the singer! The bow-tie wearing senator!)His honor, Mayor Daley has been here, as a guest of George Blaise on the old “Homework Show”- and we often had major movers and shakers come through when my old pal Jack Taylor was doing his interviews for the “Stock Market Observer.” So, you never know who you might see- Jackie Mason, Richard Karn, Jerry Mathers, or even some of the professional wrestlers I’ve mentioned before, like Hulk Hogan and the Honky Tonk Man. My favorite wrestler-visit story? During our first year of “the U”- we did a lot of “taste of Chiacgo” appearances, and, as I burst through a door, I ran smack into a WCW wrestler, “Evad” Sullivan-who jumped and said “you scared me!” Hmm…so, does anybody know if the Undertaker needs a tag team partner?

Have I mentioned that, in a scant seven weeks or so, we will FINALLY be screening the original Bela Lugosi “Dracula”?! Yes, Universal will at last give us exactly ONE run of the classic film that helped form the foundation of the Universal horror legacy. In preparing for this event- I was kind of struck by the whole notion- what’s so bad about being a vampire? The whole “no exposure to sunlight” thing? Yeah, I guess that could pretty much rule out a major portion of those tropical vacations, or visits to Disney World (oops- sorry- I mean, Universal Studios Florida…)And, I guess the necessity to sleep on your native soil might not be pleasant- even a Craftmatic adjustable bed isn’t too comfy when covered with a thin layer of good old American topsoil. Plus, the limited diet- ‘Hi, honey, what’s for dinner?…oh, not blood AGAIN!” might make things a little too routine- but- aren’t there some positive aspects of the whole vampire lifestyle? For example- you’re up all night! EVERY night! Cool! Think of all the night spots you can hit! Judging from Dracula, vampires are always decked out in that spiffy formal wear, so you’ll look high-fashion, no matter where you drop in. Onw word of caution- you’ll fit right in at any wedding reception, but- you may want to avoid the church service…you know, the whole cross thing…also, you may want to avoid Italian restaurants- or any place else that uses a lot of garlic. You can shop at the all-night grocery stores and avoid the crowds…oh, wait- that’s right, the “blood only” diet. So, back to the night spots- think of the fun you’ll have trolling for…uh…your next meal! Just remember, in the bars, everybody starts to look like a gourmet feast around closing time… Back to the avoiding of crowds…rarely will you fight traffic snarls if you’re cruising around all night. You might have some problems with finding street parking in certain areas- but, there are also wide open parking lots for closed businesses! Matter of fact- why even worry about a car? You’re a vampire, remember? What that means is- you can fly! Simply transform into a bat, and your next non-stop flight is ready to depart! You’re also sonar equipped, to avoid obstacles, plus, you get that aerobic benefit of hanging upside down. In cold weather, always remember to apply de-icer to your wings- kinda like a roll-on deodorant. Think about this- as long as you get your minimum daily requirement of plasma- you’re never going to be sick! Keep in mind, you will live forever…which means you’ll outlive your mortgage payments, your annoying neighbors, the brother-in-law who keeps borrowing money from you, and the network run of “According to Jim.” Life- I mean, non-life- is good. One final warning- if you’re a vampire, you might want to avoid camping…with the tents, there are just a few too many stakes around.

And a happy St. Paddy’s day to you and yours! Tonight, after you’ve hoisted a few green beers-or if you can persuade the barkeep to tune in the TV to Sven-you’ll enjoy that loveable little leprechaun- Lou Costello! Yes, once again, we go into the cycle of Abbott and Costello movies. This will be the last time we show the foursome in a row-as I’ve said when some of you have (ahem) complained, this is a schedule that Universal gave us, that we must follow. And, as I’ve told many of you, we WILL have the classic “Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein” later this year. But- come on! These movies are fun, even if they have been repeated a little bit too close together- I’ve gotten e-mails and letters from viewers who are happy to see them. Hans, whom has kindly e-mailed me on a bunch of subjects, and his pal Drew had brought tapes to work to show co-workers from when we had featured them in our mail segment- when cueing up one tape that had an Abbott and Costello movie, some of the co-workers asked “who’s showing those movies? I love them!”(Ahem- Hans, you MIGHT want to let them know!) There is a definite audience for these flicks –although I do understand those of you who feel we’ve had to show them a little more than you’d like…by the way- some of you MIGHT want to check our Saturday 1 am Me-TV Sven showing- I’m not making any promises, but- there could be a DIFFERENT Sven running there! But-our main 9 pm showing is “Abbott and Costello Meet Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde.” You get the great Boris Karloff (who will be seen in some of his classic flicks later in the year on our show) as the troubled doctor, who feels he can separate man’s savage base instincts from his kindly human nature. He feels compelled to experiment on himself- and becomes the monstrous Mr. Hyde! Along the way, he’s not the only one who goes through some transformations- poor Lou goes through a couple changes, as do others! I’ll cue you in on some of the behind the scenes info- was that always Boris as Mr. Hyde? Who in this film was the voice of Fred Flintstone for many years? What cast member was a famous TV detective? It’s all waiting for you, along with some Sven bits that’ll jekyll…I mean, tickle – your ribs. Oh, and, if you didn’t see the blog yesterday (and are too lazy to scroll down)- if you’d like to see our traditional Sven leprechaun visit that we bring you every year at this time- just look for our webisode here on the website! Again, happy St. Patrick’s Day to all- may the luck o’ the Irish be with you- may the wind always be at your back, and the rubber chickens hopefully miss my front…

Are you ready for St. Patrick’s Day? That’s the day that, so they say, everyone is Irish! Just call me O’Goolie. I know that, every year at this time, people request that we show a bit we did way back in 1996- our visit from a leprechaun!(I’ll ignore the whispers that it was actually a Keebler Elf doll, or that the same doll showed up on the show as one of Santa’s elves.) The wee fellow strolls onto the set with Doug and I, and proceeds to sing a song that I actually first wrote (sigh) back in the ‘80s while doing the “Son of Svengoolie” show on that other channel. In this instance, the representative o’ the little people was operated by our own puppet master, my dear friend Steven Wagner. For some reason, people just love that bit! One of our former co-workers, a Bolivian-Japanese gentleman named Jaime Tamaki (long-time viewers will remember me ending our mail segments with “hit the theme, Jaime!”) was a big fan of the song, and would sing little bits and pieces of it every so often! Sadly, there will NOT be room in the show tomorrow night for this seasonal epic- BUT- fear not! Thanks to the futuristic technology we now have in our grubby little paws, you can find the bit as a Sven webisode- right on this website! So, grab your green beer, click on the icon, and sing along… I’d be remiss not to mention the horror franchise based on the legend of the leprechaun- “Leprechaun!” I know a lot of my Irish friends were actually very upset that the beloved little character of their heritage had been turned into a blood-thirsty mini-Freddy Krueger. The story involves a guy who captures a leprechaun in Ireland, and steals his gold. He returns home to the states, but the leprechaun follows, out to kill him. The guy somehow traps the little monster in a crate; years later , he’s released, and goes on a murderous rampage, aiming for victims like Jennifer Anniston (why couldn’t Ross be there to get slaughtered?!) As if once wasn’t enough, there were sequels like “Leprechaun: In The Hood” and “Leprechaun: In Space.” Warwick Davis, a little person actor who resembles former Chicago radio personality Kevin Matthews (if Kevin was only about three feet tall), played “Willow” in the George Lucas film of the same name, has appeared in Harry Potter flicks, and was even an Ewok in “Star Wars” films, plays the nasty wee fellow under heavy make-up in all six of the series’ films. At one point, “Leprechaun VS Chucky” and “Leprechaun VS Wishmaster” were supposedly on the books, but I don’t think either saw the light of day- although it probably would’ve been fun to see him face off against the killer doll Chucky! I’m sure the “Leprechaun” movies will be airing somewhere in the next day or so- most likely on cable. I have to say that, when one of the other local stations had this flick for St. Patrick’s Day, they had a very clever line in their ad- “he’s magically malicious!” Although the visiting leprechaun in our Sven bit is somewhat malicious, I don’t recall any of my Irish friends not liking him. If you’ve never seen him- check him out in our webisode!

Got a bunch of bits and pieces that make up the blog today- so buckle up for a bumpy ride jumping between a few subjects… You guys do love the misheard lyrics! I’ve gotten some pretty funny ones- my current favorite is for Issac Hayes’ “Theme from Shaft”-when he sings “he’s a complicated man”- someone seems to think he’s saying “he’s a carpet-cleaning man!” So, not only is he a bad mother-shut your mouth…he’s also the Rug Doctor, steamin’ mad at dirt…Angela says she was confused by Kelly Clarkson’s “Miss Independent”- with a line I also misheard! Kelly sings “what happened to Miss Independent?” And we heard- “what happened to those cinnamon buns?” Also, my friend Pat from our graphics department (you see the cool stuff they do every day in our WCIU and Me-TV promos, along with the great stuff they make for our Sven show) says that Pearl Jam’s “Glorified Version of a pellet Gun” sounds like “Glorified Virgin on a Pelican!” If you’ve got one, please send it along to svengoolie@wciu.com …while digging through some old stuff to find a few things for the locally produced “Scary Monsters” magazine, which is kindly doing a big feature issue about Svengoolie that will be coming out soon- don’t worry, I’ll give you a heads-up here… I found a part of a 1982 Svengoolie fan Club packet (my WFLD director and I put this together back then) that I barely remembered- an “official” biography for both ‘Son of Svengoolie” and Doug Graves… chances are, it’ll end up in print in that special issue- but one thing I’ve got to mention- that Tombstone was originally a used car salesman in Transylvania that Sven accidentally backed over while testing the emergency brake on a vehicle! Tombstone returned in spirit form to haunt Sven, and even followed him when he came to the United States…thus explaining why he’s constantly annoying Sven. The whole page is not fancy- it’s hand-lettered and drawn by yours truly- and definitely good for a laugh!…does anybody actually DO fan clubs any more? They used to be a big thing, but they don’t seem as prominent today- maybe because the internet provides more info and even contact with celebrities (even bottom-feeders like me!) One more thing- thanks to everybody who has told me about the old Sven clips from the 80s on YouTube. A lot of the clips are posted by someone using the monicker “fuzzymemories” -so, if you’re inclined to take a look at how thin I used to be back during the “Son of” years, look for that profile. You might even find bumper announcements for the old “Super Cartoon SunRise!” …and the sun sets on today’s blog. Have I mentioned lately how I appreciate all of you who check this blog out? If not, re-read the previous sentence….

I keep forgetting to ask you loyal blog readers-is there stuff that you’d like me to write about here? Things about the show, its history, certain events of the past, legends, rumors, movies, etc. that you’ve always wanted to know about? If so- let me know- svengoolie@wciu.com - if there’s stuff of interest to you that I haven’t hit yet, that we think will be amusing for everybody who stops by here (or, at least a majority of our viewer/readers) I’ll be happy to write about it. One thing I’ve written about before is- movies that I’ve only read about, that seem like they’d be a perfect movie for our show. In going through one of my film research books, I recently stumbled onto a few more titles that beg for the Sven treatment! Nothing would be sweeter than to have a film like “Skeeter!” This 1993 movie is the descendent of the giant bug flicks of the 1950s…with the same sort of “spawned by nuclear powers” sensibility. Things just ain’t right in the quiet mountain hamlet of Clear Sky. The sky isn’t exactly clear, either- seems that it’s full of- giant mosquitoes! You wouldn’t think that it might have something to do with that illegal toxic waste dump just outside town, would you? The giant skeeters are blood-suckers, and , well, it’s gonna take a lot of people to feed these big bugs- and it’s gonna take more than Raid to wipe them out! The cast includes William Sanderson –of “Deadwood” and Larry, Darryl and Darryl fame on “Newhart.” One of my source books points out a valid fact- whereas, in the 50s, the government was always fighting to overcome menaces like these- in more modern movies, it’s usually the government that has CAUSED them, or is trying to cover them up! The mosquitoes are supposedly really bad special effects- perfect for a Sven feature! Are you ready to rock and roll? I’ll bet we would be if I could get “Shock ‘Em Dead!” You get a nerdy musician who fails in his attempt to join a sort of hair band rock group. He meets a voodoo priestess who will grant him his fondest desire- to become a rock star. And soon, he is- with amazing guitar skills, groupies, fame- with one little problem. He has to KILL people to continue living this life! He’s become sort of a vampire in the service of the devil, having sold his soul- but- uh-oh! He meets former adult film star Traci Lords, who’s managing a band- falls in love with her- and – well, problems ensue. Quite the odd cast here- besides Traci, you get 50s and 60s heartthrob Troy Donahue, soap opera star Chris Malecki, and versatile old actor Aldo Ray. Plus, shredding guitar licks, dude! Think of the Sven song we could do for this one! One more? How about “the Wicked?” Nope, not about the Oz witch before she met Dorothy- this is an Australian horror flick, mate- also known as “Outback Vampires.” (At no point does anyone ask “where are the vampires?” and someone responds “Out back…”) A Sheila (Aussie slang for a woman) and two blokes end up stranded in a strange desert town- then take things one step further by ending up in a strange house inhabited by a family of vampires. None of them is Rupert Murdoch. Have I already done all the jokes I’d do if I had this film, in this paragraph? It’s possible. I’ve done enough blog for today, anyway. See you tomorrow.

Well, class, what shall we do today? How about a dip into ye olde e-mail/snail mail bag and look over some of the feedback we get from those of you kind enough to pay attention to what we do? Any objection? (If there is, I can’t hear you anyway, so, let’s press on…) Eva wrote to say she really likes the show- BUT- she feels the rubber chicken barrages are kind of lame, and not as funny as they used to be. Well, Eva, most people feel that the chickens are a traditional part of the Sven show, and would feel something was missing if we didn’t have them. Any time I do a public appearance, there are always a lot of people whose first words to me are “where’s your rubber chicken?” (There’s even a small percentage who ask “where’s your rubber duck?” I guess ornithology was not there strong suit..) Changing anything traditional about a show can cause viewer backlash- I know I’ve mentioned, when I first came back here on “the U”- I changed my costume slightly, getting rid of the green disco scarf that used to be a part of my outfit- and at least a couple people felt the show was no good anymore “because you don’t wear the scarf.” So, imagine how the crowd would be lighting their torches and marching on the station if I abolished the chickens! Tom pointed something out to us- he saw that, in a previous blog, I mentioned that “Tales from the Crypt: Demon Knight” was originally supposed to be the first in a trilogy of “Tales” flicks- but that after the second one “Bordello of Blood” bombed, they decided against it, and didn’t do a third one. Tom points out that, there WAS a third “Tales” movie- entitled “Ritual” and starring Tim Curry! I did some research and, he’s right- sort of. The film was made, and was originally going to be the third leg of the trilogy- but-as I said, once “Bordello” had bombed, they decided not to release it. Miramax bought the film from Universal, the removed any “Tales from the Crypt” references- including the usual Crypt Keeper segments! It was just released as a separate horror film, and went nowhere. However, there was a partially restored home video version, which didn’t include the usual “haunted house” tales intro, and restored only the opening shtick done with the Crypt Keeper- nothing more.(One more thing-hang onto your trivia hats- this film was actually a remake of the 1943 chiller-“I Walked with a Zombie!”) We’ve heard from some viewers who are upset that they live just far enough away from us that their cable providers don’t carry our station, and they have to rely on everything from roof antennas, to rabbit ears, to strange contraptions using tin foil and wire hangers just to be able to pick up our over the air signal and get their weekly dosage of Sven and/or Stooge-a-palooza. Then, we get requests from former Chicagoans who have moved across country and want to know what station they can see our show on in, say, Jupiter, Florida, or Loveland, Colorado, etc. Unfortunately- there isn’t a lot we can do about that, folks. Our shows currently only run on the stations owned by our company, in Chicago, Milwaukee, and South Bend. The cable and dish providers usually only carry the local stuff that they “must carry” according to law, and , if they’re far enough away, and don’t consider us “local”- they’re not going to carry us. All those other far-flung American cities and towns are just out of luck as well- I don’t think your local cable/dish guys are going to carry a Chicago station (and don’t point out that they carry WGN- that’s a special case, just like TBS from Atlanta used to be , and doesn’t include all the WGN programming we see here in the Chicago area.) I wish everybody everywhere who wanted to see us was able to do so. I get enough e-mails from out of town, that I know there’s a hefty sector across the nation that isn’t getting its minimum weekly requirement of Sven. And- that’s our minimum daily requirement of Sven blog for today. You can always send me more feedback-

Guess what today is…that’s right, the Girl Scouts Anniversary. NO!!! GUESS AGAIN !!! …Liza Minelli’s birthday? Well, okay, but- who else?…okay, James Taylor…but, who else that sings? No, not Al Jarreau- I mean, it IS his birthday, but…who else? Beat poet Jack Kerouac ? Okay, but…astronaut Wally Shirra ? Never mind, time’s up…it’s…me. It’s my birthday. How old am I? Well, let’s just say that my age is plastered over a lot of speed limit signs…on the local expressways. Which usually are moving a lot slower than that, but, then again, so am I, at this age. To be honest, aging has never really bothered me much. I remember, as a grade school kid, being assigned to figure out how old I would be in the year 2000. I recall just being aghast at the prospect of hitting Y2K- and being in my late forties!!! Wow- that seemed so OLD!!! Your perspective of what you consider old when you’re a kid is very different from your adult viewpoint. When I was a teenager, I remember being very surprised that some of my favorite people on television were in their late 50s or early sixties. I would have guessed that they were, at the very least, around forty. At the time, I marveled at how some of these people probably struggled in obscurity, doing lesser gigs, before finally hitting it big at such an “advanced” age. I wondered if I would EVER get anywhere before I was well on my way to an AARP card. When I had the opportunity to work side by side with some of the people I admired and grew up listening to- like my mentor, Jerry G. Bishop, Dick Orkin of the “Chicken Man” series, deejays like Jim Stagg and Joel Sebastian- I didn’t really consider how much older they were than I. They were just guys that I really respected and whose work I’d enjoyed, and it was so cool to actually be working with them. I hope that my younger co-workers have the same viewpoint of me (maybe not so much the respect, maybe…I’m a guy who gets hit with rubber chickens, fer pity’s sake…) The next landmark “Birthday” or anniversary date for the Svengoolie show would probably be June of 2009-if we make it that far- which will be thirty- that’s right, THIRTY- years since I first appeared on TV as the Sven character. Would I ever have expected to still be doing it today? Nope. Consider that Jerry G.’s original Sven show really only lasted about three years. How could I hope to even make it that far?! I’ve had a lot happen to me in my life- some amazing things, some tragic things, but, mostly, a lot of good things. I guess I’ve survived a variety of pitfalls, both personal and professional- and had the help of a lot of people, some in big ways, some in small- but help nonetheless. So- thanks to everybody who helped me find my way thus far. That includes you guys who’ve watched my shows, and supported what I do. Now, I’m going to rest up for a while…it’s gonna take a heckuva lot of breath to blow out all those candles…oh, and it’s also Barbara Feldon’s birthday- but she’s got it easy- she was always 99! (…get it? She was Agent 99 on “Get Smart?” She…don’t mind me, I’m just a babbling old man…)

Everybody who’s ever been on the air, radio or television, makes mistakes. I’m no stranger to that territory. Chances are you’ve seen some of my “handiwork’ when we’ve run our “OOPS-Files” segments, with out-takes from the show. However, flat-out stupidity makes mistakes a little unbearable. I was watching one of the local weekend morning news shows. Granted, there are some that actually have people on air who know what they’re doing, and do it well- but, there are a LOT of boneheads in the mix as well (no offense to Tombstone.) Recently, one of the anchors was supposed to tell us about the many people who were about to do one of those “polar bear” events where they go into the frigid waters of Lake Michigan. Now, keep in mind- the words she was supposed to say are right in front of her, both on the teleprompter, super-imposed over the camera lens, and on a paper script right in front of her on her desk. So, what does she say? “A lot of people are running out into Michigan Avenue this morning…” Oh my god! Imagine pedestrians leaping out into the traffic on Michigan Avenue! Oh, the humanity!!!…I’m sure that was an honest mistake, but still- it was written out right in front of her! All she had to do was READ! That’s her job! This woman isn’t even a street reporter- her whole job is just reading at an anchor desk! On the same weekend newscast, they go to all the trouble of having an actual traffic reporter on duty-but, Somehow, the budget isn’t included for a person to put the traffic information in words on the screen! So, when there’s a problem, or a long list of street closures, you’d best be listening carefully, because you won’t be seeing the information on the screen for even a little while! However, they think that cutting to a live camera on an almost deserted expressway heading to Elgin is helpful. They even brag about their access to so many of these cameras. Wow! Who’d believe that traffic would be so light on a Sunday morning?! I’ve mentioned radio “personalities” who seem to be geographically impaired before- like the woman who thought Minnesota was a suburb of Minneapolis- and I heard another one just the other day. This guy was doing some sort of “this day in history” song thing, and said it would be taking us back to Alabama…after which he started to sing “…sweet Georgia…”which- didn’t appear to have anything to do with anything!!! What?! Boy, sometimes you can’t hit the button fast enough to change the station… Like I said, everybody makes mistakes- and I’ve made plenty- But I’d just hope that my mistakes were honest mistakes, not through total ignorance, or from not following a script in front of me. Back when I was doing weather on Fox (I still have nightmares about that) I remember talking about the winds from the west, while moving my hands east. I could say that it’s confusing when you’re working in front of a green screen, but- the bottom line- it was my job to do it right. Had people been blogging back then, I’m sure someone would be giving me hell…and that’s not even bringing up my forecast! Have you seen or heard a classic goof-up by a clueless news anchor, pledge break barker, or deejay? Please feel free to tell me about it at svengoolie@wciu.com - maybe it’ll make me feel better about myself…

Tonight, it’s more Peter Cushing in another Hammer horror film- one that people asked me to show for years, often without even knowing the title! When we ran an anthology film about Universal monsters- “Anthony Perkins Presents: the Horror Show”- there was a quick clip of a blond male vampire Attacking a victim, along with shots of some young women sporting fangs.We got a lot of questions from viewers who wanted to know what the film was- or whom had seen it years ago, and didn’t remember the name- but they all wanted to see it! Now, several years later, thanks to our Universal deal, we have “Brides of Dracula!” This 1960 film was a follow-up to Hammer’s “Horror of Dracula”- starring Christopher Lee- that was released two years earlier. It was pretty much the original Dracula tale, with Lee as the Count. In our film- not only is there no Christopher Lee, but- there actually isn’t any Dracula! (The reason being- Hammer would have had to pay Christopher Lee some additional money to appear in this film…guess they got over that, when they made several more Dracula sequels with Lee.) However, don’t let the non-appearance of the actual Count put you off this flick- David Peel provides an excellent bloody baron vampire! You get a beautiful French girl, heading to a girls’ school to teach- who ends up spending the night in the fearful castle of a dreaded aging baroness, who keeps her only son locked up in the castle. When he is helped to escape- suddenly the countryside is over-run with the deaths of young women- and an increase in the vampire population! The arrival of the famed vampire hunter, Van Helsing (played by Cushing) to investigate one of the deaths leads to the discovery of this new blood-sucking menace. It’s the usual high-quality Hammer- the high production values, brilliant color, and creepy atmosphere. The “Brides of Dracula” refers to the newly-minted female vampires that abound in this flick- although it could also refer to another character- which you can figure out when you watch. Don’t expect an actual vampire wedding (judging from the title, it’d have to be in Utah, where they allow some people more than one wife.) I’ll have a lot of background info on the movie- and, the usual Sven-tertainment. And- just in case you don’t get your fill of vampires with this movie- just be patient- in a couple of months, we’re going to have some of the all-time classics of that particular bloodline. You know what I’m talking about…don’t you? Meanwhile- tune in tonight! Wear that garlic necklace if you want- as long as it doesn’t clash with your outfit. Feel free to let me know how you liked the show- svengoolie@wciu.com Oh, and if you’re a friend of the groom, please sit on the left side of the sofa…

I told you about the various collectibles that I have yesterday- and someone wrote asking if I have collected any books about horror and sci fi movies. The answer is, of course, yes! Not only because I’m a fan of the genre, but also because- before the advent of the internet and easy “Google” searches for information about the movies and their stars, I needed some way to find out the facts- and having books right at hand (who has time to go to the library when you have to produce shows every week?) was the best way to get what I needed. Some books were more helpful than others- “The Great Book of Movie Monsters”, while providing some basic information in an alphabetical listing, it tended to be a little light on information about the films, and tended to get a little too cutesy (each entry ended with “what to do if you meet this monster”- with sage advice like “don’t look at it.”) Another older book that was more helpful was “Horrors: from Screen to Scream” by Ed Naha (Naha! Aha! Yatee benne fucchee…oh, no, wait, that’s a 3 Stooges bit.) This was a more complete alphabetical listing of movies and their stars, had a lot of great still pictures from the movies, and much more story information. A more in-depth study of horror films and the people who made them was “the Horror People” by John Brosnan. It had a lot of information about the various actors, writers and directors who worked on horror films, and the best background information I could find at the time. One of the most mind- boggling books was a three-volume set called ‘The Reference Guide to Fantastic Films” by Walt Lee. Although the set came out in 1976, the whole project was started almost thirty years earlier! It’s incredibly dense with titles and facts, and includes silent and foreign films- even some student films (including some really ridiculous titles like “Batman Meets Frankenstein” that are obviously some high school kid’s Super 8 epic.) There are still pictures scattered through out the volumes, and even a whole section of “lost” or “questionable” films that may or may not exist! The entries really only go up to the early 70s, so, like many of the books I used when I was “Son of Svengoolie” –there’s a world of newer films that aren’t covered. The intro to these volumes was written by Robert Bloch , the author of “Psycho”- and he says a couple very insightful things. He comments on how audiences have changed since they used to be terrified by the likes of the original Universal monster films and such- “The cruelties that once caused chills now evoke laughter and sadistic satisfaction.” Commenting on a big screen showing of the original 30s “King Kong”- Bloch, referring to the rudeness of some movie-goers, recalls the good old days “when the apes were up on the screen, instead of down in the audience.” (And today- the apes even have cell phones.) One more valuable Sven reference book? Why, “Golden Turkeys”-naturally! This Medved Bros. book about the worst movies ever made pretty much includes a major portion of the flicks I’ve shown- but- not the one I’ll be showing tomorrow night! Tell you all about it next time…

Many of you have visited Sven show sponsor “Horrorbles” on Roosevelt Road in Berwyn 9yes, Berwyn!) and commented on all the cool collectibles they have there-which has led some of you to ask me-“what kind of stuff do YOU have?” Well, my home office is overflowing with all sorts of various collectibles, from TV and movie memorabilia to comics items too numerous to list- but, let’s just talk about some of the horror/sci fi things in my collection. I’ve got some figures- including a larger Japanese Godzilla, and a smaller Japanese toy Godzilla on a diorama base-plus, a wind-up spark-spitting “Zilla style monster (more about wind-up toys later.) I have a small Frankenstein toy that my good friend and former co-worker Steve Wagner ( who worked on our show’s animated open,and “The Wild” animated film) gave me- I think it was a toy give-away from one of the burger chains, actually- it’s the Monster lying on a lab table, and when you press a lever- his transparent green head is lit from a light in the table! One of my favorite figures is “the Creature from the Black Lagoon”- but, it isn’t the typical green-scaled version. This one is true to the original film, done in black and white- he’s done in shades of gray! He even came with a spear gun and a net…I may bring this one in when we eventually show the “Creature” film trilogy later this year. Then there’s my robot collection- most of it very retro. Sure, I’ve got a bunch of ‘Forbidden Planet” Robby the Robot figures, In various sizes and colorations, including wind-up versions- there’s even one that has sparks inside his head dome! I have a variety of small wind-up robot toys- there are a couple that are versions of my favorite toy as a small child- a walking robot toy whose eyes lit up, that you controlled with a small box that also held the batteries. One of the saddest days of my young life was when the batteries corroded, so badly that the toy was no longer operable. Flash ahead to thirty or so years later- when I found a small wind-up version of the same robot toy, and was overjoyed! The toy- known as “Robot R-35”- has since showed up in various small sizes, and even on a tin sign. My other robots include a wind-up version of Gort from “The Day the Earth Stood Still”- a few versions of the “Lost in Space’ robot- and a bunch of smaller wind-ups- including one plastic robot with a broom that sweeps!(I need a bigger version of that to do some housework!) There’s even a very cool red robot dog. Most of these robot toys are of fairly recent vintage- I’m sure most toy collectors will tell you that older ones are pretty pricey. The worst thing about having a collection of all sorts of smaller stuff like this? Dusting. (See? I told you I need that robot with the broom…)

Pardon me for switching frequencies, but- our sister station Me-TV really has some cool stuff! (I mean, besides that run of the Sven movie Saturday nights at 1 am…) Great stuff - the classic “Twilight Zone” series, for example. Yes, I’m old enough to have watched the shows first-run as a kid, and , even though some of them scared the livings daylights out of me, I faithfully watched every week. Seriously, some of the shows creeped me out for long periods of time! I remember just about freaking out when William Shatner pulled back that curtain and saw the gremlin’s face right up at the airplane window! (Of course, you look at that ridiculous costume and make-up job now, and think- couldn’t they have opted for a slightly more expensive- and effective- costume job?!) I always loved the one where the saucer had crashed into the frozen lake, and the busload of passengers were stranded in the diner- with the cops SURE that one of them had to be an alien, since there was one more person there than had been on the bus. The print we have of that show, like many of them, is edited to fit current commercial time allocations, and removed one of my favorite lines- crazy old Jack Elam (who, as a kid, I thought for sure HAD to be the alien) walks up to the jukebox that is mysteriously starting and stopping on its own, salutes and says “take me to your leader!” As a kid, I didn’t understand a lot of the implications and under-lying themes of the episodes- I was in it for the scares! There were some that had endings where the story wasn’t resolved that puzzled me. My mom used to call endings like that “an Alfred Hitchcock ending”- since a lot of the Hitchcock shows also had finishes that didn’t tie up the story- our family liked to have tales with no loose ends, thank you! I remember the famous episode where Donna Douglas (Elly Mae from “Beverly Hillbillies”) spends most of the episode with her face wrapped up, awaiting the results of plastic surgery that would hopefully change her “hideous” face- of course (SPOLIER ALERT! IF YOU’VE NEVER SEEN IT_ STOP READING NOW!) At the end , we see that she’s absolutely gorgeous, but the “normal” people around her all have weird mis-shapen kissers. I recall that, back then, you never really noticed that, for most of the episode, you never ONCE saw anybody’s face- which is why the whole thing was so shocking. I feel kind of sad that there are people who will never have that same reaction that I did, just because the episode is famous enough that they have heard all about it – and the technique used- before they actually saw it. And- if they didn’t heed my spoiler warning above- I just ruined it for them. I’m such an insensitive beast. I loved the Twilight Zone- even though, as a kid, stuff like that always gave me nightmares! Yeah, you heard it- Svengoolie, as a child, constantly had nightmares. Must’ve had something to do with the way I am now…

Viewers always ask about which films I’d like to show, or which are my favorites that we’ve shown- but, what about some of the flicks we’ve had that I could have done without? Yes, there are a few we’ve had that could’ve gone directly into the bulk eraser (that’s the machine we use to erase tapes by bombarding them with intense magnetic fields) and nobody would have suffered. Both here and at the previous station where I did “Son of Svengoolie” –there have been a few I just couldn’t stand. We had one not too long ago, last year…a weak film called “Midnight Movie Massacre.” It’s a film within a film, as folks go to a movie theater to watch a “Space Patrol” flick- when an actual alien creature lands on the theater, invades, and starts killing people off. First of all- there were quite a few edits we made- for gross-out humor that just wasn’t funny, other stuff that wasn’t within the guidelines of what we’re allowed to broadcast, and –stuff SO boring and drawn out that it didn’t even provide any entertainment or plot advancement. The “Space Patrol” movie stuff didn’t fit well with the rest of the movie- even though it was an homage to the old 50s television show, and even included one of the original cast members. The ending of the film was incredibly stupid – I’m not going to reveal it, just in case we (gulp) ever run it again. Another real loser was “Terror Vision”- another lame film with very little to recommend it. There’s a computer site called “terrorvision” that- when people log on- activates all sorts of electronic mayhem, killing and/or capturing the websurfers. There were a handful of cool effects, like a mechanical sort of killer “bug” that rolled up into a ball and chased people, but then unfolded into a sort of centipede-like robo-beast. But, there was a LOT of time-wasting junk...including endless “music videos”- if your idea of a music video is a lousy song put to footage of jerks driving around endlessly. To make matters worse, the songs included some obscenities (when you run out of creative ideas- swear!) A real loser from the “Son of Svengoolie” days is a cheap old American International film with a promising title –“Beast with a Million Eyes!” An alien lands in the desert, and can control the minds of animals and some people. If I remember correctly, I don’t think we ever even SEE the damn thing! Any shots of it are done from the “Beast’s” point of view. You do get Dick Sargent –the second “Darrin” from “Bewitched”- but little else. The story was- American International bigwig James Nicholson came up with the title, and put together a great ad campaign for the movie- before there even WAS a movie. The ads were so good, he managed to pre-sell the film to movie distributors. When they actually saw the film, they were all disgusted, because it was so lousy. Maybe I’ll revisit this topic again – and, watch out, because you may revisit the movies I’ve mentioned- but don’t say I didn’t warn you!

I always get some great feedback at svengoolie@wciu.com - and it’s only right that I once again share some of what comes in with you here- especially since we don’t have time to cover everything (if anything sometimes, due to the movie lengths!) in our on-air mail segments. For example, a lot of you enjoyed our blog about misheard song lyrics- and provided a few of your own (some, of course, aren’t quite printable here!) Misheard lyrics are things that most of us think we hear in one song or another- like thinking Cher did a song called “Gypsies Cramps and Cheese”… our friend Al thought that, in Elton John’s “Benny and the Jets”- instead of “she’s got electric boots- a mohair suit”-he’s saying (kids, cover your eyes for a sentence)-“She’s got electric boobs- her maw has, too”-which, I guess, supports the idea of heredity. Chuck points out it’s sometimes hard to understand Bob Dylan- which may explain why he thought, instead of singing “The answer, my friend, is blowin’ in the wind”- he was singing “the ants are my friends, and they’re blowing in the wind…” that can’t be any worse than Paul Young singing “Every time you go away- you take a piece of meat with you”, as Janet points out… You might remember me mentioning a movie that scared me as a kid- an old black and white film, with a people being killed, a family crypt with a statue of a wolf, and the revelation of the killer- a werewolf- at the very end. I never knew the title- until Jack solved the mystery for me- it’s “the Undying Monster” from 1942 ! Sadly, it doesn’t seem that the film is available on home video- and I have yet to see it offered to us from a broadcast distributor. Could this be another film locked up in a cable net’s film sanctuary? I’ve gotten a few e-mails and letters commenting on seeing license plates that have “KOZ” in them, even one spotted in Texas, and asking if that was me. Sorry, folks- my plates don’t have my name (Koz OR Sven) on them. I’d rather travel in anonymity (or, in a convertible) without advertising that it’s me. Another frequently-asked question- “can we come get a tour of your studio?” Unfortunately, no- our studio area is not set up for tours, and Sven does not receive visitors here. If you want to meet Mr. Goolie, watch on air, or just check here, or at the Svengoolieweb.com, or the Svengoolieweb Yahoo group, for information on Sven appearances. There are always several live appearances each year, and, yes, when you line up to meet me or get an autograph, I WILL talk to you! I’m amazed by how many people think I’ll just sign something in silence. Are there that many celebs and pro athletes that do that at signings? You can almost always bring along a camera and get a picture of you and me, as well. Keep the questions and comments coming! There’s always room in the “new mail” box for whatever you send…

I always remember a friend of mine riddling me this- “what is the only date that is a command?” The answer- today’s date- “March Fourth! (March forth!)”- being the jerk that I am, I responded that there was a similar date that was a question- “may one?” I know, pretty lame… Hope you enjoyed the “Evil of Frankenstein” last night…I know there are many fans of Hammer horror films that wish we could run more of them (though we DO have one-in a more vampiric vein- get it? Vein?- next week.) There were a few more “Frankenstein” films done by Hammer- the next one in line, after the movie you watched last night, was “Frankenstein Created Woman.” No shrieking Elsa Lanchester “Bride” here- the Franken-chick is a Playboy Playmate, Susan Denberg. Peter Cushing, continuing his role as Dr. Frankenstein, doesn’t use the usual mad scientist lab zapping electronics in this one- he does ‘soul transference”-transferring the soul of a murdered man into the lifeless, yet nicely upholsteried body of Ms. Denberg. Once revived, she has flashbacks of the dead donor’s memories, and sets out for revenge on the people who accused him. That film was followed by “Frankenstein Must Be Destroyed”- with Cushing back again, and up to his usual mayhem- enlisting a young couple to assist him in his experiments. He ends up blackmailing them into helping him spring a formerly brilliant doctor from the lunatic asylum, so he can transplant his brain into a new body. Because a film executive wanted it, a rape scene was added to the film- which upset Peter Cushing. He hated the scene, and repeatedly apologized for its inclusion to his co-star, Veronica Carlson. While Cushing’s Frankenstein seemed so human and sympathetic in last night’s flick- he is cold and truly fiendish in this film. I guess constantly being chased by those torch-toting villagers would do that to you. There was then a non- Cushing film-“Horror of Frankenstein”- that told the original story all over again, but the final Hammer Frankenstein film in the Cushing series was “Frankenstein and the Monster from Hell.” This time out, Cushing/Frankenstein is running an asylum (talk about the lunatics running the place!) and is fortunate to have a grave-robber committed to the establishment. The monster this time out is the man who would be in the Star Wars “Darth Vader” suit- David Prowse! Also along for the ride- James Bond’s original “M”- Bernard Lee- and the second Dr. Who- Patrick Troughton! Imagine Dr. Who battling a Darth Vader revived by Dr. Frankenstein, with weapons provided by “M”…I’d better copyright that screenplay quickly (BEFORE I get sued by all the involved parties...)

Tonight you get Hammer horror via our Universal films deal- with “Evil of Frankenstein!” This was the third of the Hammer Frankenstein films, and stars British horror legend Peter Cushing as Baron Frankenstein, who, with a young assistant, has been systematically continuing his experiments and being run out of European towns on a regular basis. After his latest attempt is thwarted, and all his equipment ruined, the Baron decides to return home to his castle (risky though it might be) to collect some of his fine art and furnishings to sell off and raise more funds for his mad scientific experiments. But- when the Baron gets back to his castle, he discovers that it’s been looted, leaving none of his expensive artifacts available for recycling into cash. Along the way, he ends up finding the product of a previous experiment- along with the corrupt local officials who stole his stuff. The Baron works to restore his creature to life- a second time- to help gain revenge! It’s typical Hammer horror hi-jinks, and plenty of fun to watch.(Plus- you have to love that the actor who plays the monster is named- Kiwi Kingston! In a p