June 20- See You in Cicero Tonight-and Berwyn Bat Bites?!
Okay, quick review- I will be at the big Cicero American Fest tonight from 6-8 pm, signing autographs, chickens, posing for pictures, etc. The event takes place at 50th Ave. and 25th Street. Come out and visit with me!
Meanwhile, right next door in Berwyn- some strange things are happening. Shaynie, who lives in Berwyn and always watches our program along with her husband, sent me an
e-mail with some disturbing news.
Over the past few days, there have been three reports of- gasp-BAT BITES IN BERWYN!!! Yes, innocent Berwyn residents being bitten by bats. Shaynie says that one of them was a neighbor of hers (the bitten person, not the bat.)The neighbor was walking from her house to her car, and a bat flew at her and bit her on the neck. YES- on the neck! As Shaynie says –“It Came from Berwyn, indeed!”
Okay- is this the beginning of a perfect b-movie? I can see it now- “Bats Over Berwyn!” The lovely little town is going about its usual business, when suddenly- there are these little incidents of citizens being nipped on the neck. Seems innocent enough- until those bitten start to show a strange tendency towards avoiding sunlight-and their tastes change from the traditional Berwyn mushrooms to- human blood! Yow- it’s an increase in vampirism, and the townspeople begin to fear the attacks of bats and bloodsuckers!
Obviously, the town needs help- so they call on the one person they know of who has the most knowledge about vampires-the
legendary local TV horror host- Svengoolie! Sven comes out to Berwyn, making the horror collectibles store Horrorbles his base of operations- and sets out to discover where the original bats are coming from- and who has sent them to plague the town!
Eventually, Sven discovers that a local developer, fairly new in town, who seems intent on changing local shopping centers, is actually a descendant of-Dracula! He is, however, from the Bohemian branch of the Dracula clan- hence his attraction to Berwyn. He decides to attack Sven by sending gradually larger and larger vampire bats after him, finally attacking him himself, in the guise of a huge bat! Sven uses a hastily constructed silver spike to skewer first the Dracula bat, then the others, in decreasing size. Soon, the plague is over- and Berywn has a new “Spindle” structure- but this time, with bats instead of cars!
We’ll get this into production as soon as financing becomes available, unless the bat bites actually subside. Hmmm… or, should I use the financing to open a fast food place- “Bat Bites?” Or a computer store- “Bat Bytes?”…I think this whole thing bites…
June 20- See You in Cicero Tonight-and Berwyn Bat Bites?!
Meanwhile, right next door in Berwyn- some strange things are happening. Shaynie, who lives in Berwyn and always watches our program along with her husband, sent me an
e-mail with some disturbing news.
Over the past few days, there have been three reports of- gasp-BAT BITES IN BERWYN!!! Yes, innocent Berwyn residents being bitten by bats. Shaynie says that one of them was a neighbor of hers (the bitten person, not the bat.)The neighbor was walking from her house to her car, and a bat flew at her and bit her on the neck. YES- on the neck! As Shaynie says –“It Came from Berwyn, indeed!”
Okay- is this the beginning of a perfect b-movie? I can see it now- “Bats Over Berwyn!” The lovely little town is going about its usual business, when suddenly- there are these little incidents of citizens being nipped on the neck. Seems innocent enough- until those bitten start to show a strange tendency towards avoiding sunlight-and their tastes change from the traditional Berwyn mushrooms to- human blood! Yow- it’s an increase in vampirism, and the townspeople begin to fear the attacks of bats and bloodsuckers!
Obviously, the town needs help- so they call on the one person they know of who has the most knowledge about vampires-the
legendary local TV horror host- Svengoolie! Sven comes out to Berwyn, making the horror collectibles store Horrorbles his base of operations- and sets out to discover where the original bats are coming from- and who has sent them to plague the town!
Eventually, Sven discovers that a local developer, fairly new in town, who seems intent on changing local shopping centers, is actually a descendant of-Dracula! He is, however, from the Bohemian branch of the Dracula clan- hence his attraction to Berwyn. He decides to attack Sven by sending gradually larger and larger vampire bats after him, finally attacking him himself, in the guise of a huge bat! Sven uses a hastily constructed silver spike to skewer first the Dracula bat, then the others, in decreasing size. Soon, the plague is over- and Berywn has a new “Spindle” structure- but this time, with bats instead of cars!
We’ll get this into production as soon as financing becomes available, unless the bat bites actually subside. Hmmm… or, should I use the financing to open a fast food place- “Bat Bites?” Or a computer store- “Bat Bytes?”…I think this whole thing bites…
June 20- See You in Cicero Tonight-and Berwyn Bat Bites?!
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