June 12- Svengoolie News and Commentary
And now, from the just behind Berwyn newsroom- it’s… Svengoolie News and Commentary, featuring useless news and brainless commentary…
Hello, good evening (morning? afternoon?) and welcome- here are the news…it’s “Bike to Work Week” in Chicago- in which folks are encouraged to use a bicycle as transport. This brings a question to mind- why aren’t there movies with killer bikes? We’ve had killer cars and trucks (for a killer car, watch for “the Car” –reappearing soon on the Svengoolie video highway)-why no two-wheeled terror?
Many food purveyors have dropped tomatoes- not because they’re clumsy, but because the tomatoes have been a source of salmonella. Is this art becoming reality- “Attack of the Killer Tomatoes?”
Dateline-Sydney, Australia- a judge halted a drug conspiracy trial after some jurors were found to be playing Sudoku while evidence was being given. He was tipped off when he saw jurors writing vertically, instead of horizontally. Well, maybe, like water goes down the drain counter-clockwise below the equator- Aussies take notes up and down instead of across-IF water does indeed go down the drain counter-clockwise below the equator. Sounds like the whole trial will be going down the drain.
Dateline- the Wisconsin Dells- after the disastrous weather in the area, Lake Denton- the lake upon which the ever-popular Tommy Bartlett water show has been presented for years- has completely drained after a levee gave way. With the lake dried up, at least 22 water skiers from the show are now out of a job.
Dateline-Beijing- low-lying areas in one town struck by the big earthquake were flooded this week by engineers trying to avert disaster. The disaster- possibly putting MORE water skiers out of work?
A personal note- a good friend, now a hockey sportscaster, once worked at Tommy Bartlett’s water show- he said Bartlett was a big radio personality, beloved by ladies-when TV got going, Bartlett switched to that- and was not as well received, since he wasn’t the image his audience had in mind- he was a slightly heavy set guy, not a matinee idol-looking fellow. After seeing asking exhibition during one show, he decided to go north to Wisconsin, and started the water show that launched a thousand bumper stickers on visitors’ cars. All this huge success, brought about by simply having a face for radio.
That’s all the useless news and commentary we have today- come back soon for more- Svengoolie News and Commentary (I’ll leave it to you to tell which is which!)
June 12- Svengoolie News and Commentary
Hello, good evening (morning? afternoon?) and welcome- here are the news…it’s “Bike to Work Week” in Chicago- in which folks are encouraged to use a bicycle as transport. This brings a question to mind- why aren’t there movies with killer bikes? We’ve had killer cars and trucks (for a killer car, watch for “the Car” –reappearing soon on the Svengoolie video highway)-why no two-wheeled terror?
Many food purveyors have dropped tomatoes- not because they’re clumsy, but because the tomatoes have been a source of salmonella. Is this art becoming reality- “Attack of the Killer Tomatoes?”
Dateline-Sydney, Australia- a judge halted a drug conspiracy trial after some jurors were found to be playing Sudoku while evidence was being given. He was tipped off when he saw jurors writing vertically, instead of horizontally. Well, maybe, like water goes down the drain counter-clockwise below the equator- Aussies take notes up and down instead of across-IF water does indeed go down the drain counter-clockwise below the equator. Sounds like the whole trial will be going down the drain.
Dateline- the Wisconsin Dells- after the disastrous weather in the area, Lake Denton- the lake upon which the ever-popular Tommy Bartlett water show has been presented for years- has completely drained after a levee gave way. With the lake dried up, at least 22 water skiers from the show are now out of a job.
Dateline-Beijing- low-lying areas in one town struck by the big earthquake were flooded this week by engineers trying to avert disaster. The disaster- possibly putting MORE water skiers out of work?
A personal note- a good friend, now a hockey sportscaster, once worked at Tommy Bartlett’s water show- he said Bartlett was a big radio personality, beloved by ladies-when TV got going, Bartlett switched to that- and was not as well received, since he wasn’t the image his audience had in mind- he was a slightly heavy set guy, not a matinee idol-looking fellow. After seeing asking exhibition during one show, he decided to go north to Wisconsin, and started the water show that launched a thousand bumper stickers on visitors’ cars. All this huge success, brought about by simply having a face for radio.
That’s all the useless news and commentary we have today- come back soon for more- Svengoolie News and Commentary (I’ll leave it to you to tell which is which!)
June 12- Svengoolie News and Commentary
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They're not really "killer bikes", but how about that scene in the movie "Better Off Dead" with John Cusack?
"TWO DOLLARS!"
The water-going-the-other-way-down-the-drain-south-of-the-equator thing is 90% urban legend.
The Coriolis Effect doesn't matter as much as the tidal forces within the water involved.