May 25- More Irritating TV Commercials!

I got an e-mail from Glen, who had read my previous blog about some of the commercials that drive me up several walls- and he had one that dealt, not with walls, but floors. I can’t believe I neglected to mention it, and I’m glad he brought it up.
You know the ones- for a flooring company with a moon-like name-where you have these women rolling around on and talking to their new floors! Glen feels that these ladies seem to be a little on the psycho side (I agree- especially the one who responds to her hubby with a goggle-eyed grinning nod!) he suggests that they may be ready to pull out a knife and go after anyone who dares to tread on their beloved floory-woory.
Glen thought I could parody them during the right film- maybe “I Saw What You Did”-and he imagines Joan Crawford rolling around on some 60s floor, talking to the carpet with a huge knife or cleaver in her hand. That WOULD make her threats to anyone using wire hangers even more menacing…
I did forget the other one I had neglected to mention- those adorable cartoon bears who seem obsessed with toilet paper.
The thing lost on a lot of viewers is that this is supposed to be playing off the old affirmation retort to a question that obviously has a “yes” answer -i.e., “is Sven’s blog a lot of senseless rambling?” “Does a bear _____ in the woods?”
One of the latest features one bear sweeping the backside of another, to remove a lint-like substance that presumably was left by an inferior bathroom tissue. Oooh- what if they’d been polar bears- they wouldn’t even be able to TELL that some lousy toilet tissue had left residue on their backfield.
Another loyal Sven fan, Dave, sent me an e-mail regarding
the SHAM WOW commercial. Dave says, “There’s a totally weird skinny guy who acts young but looks about 50” complete with a spiky hairdo. He mentions that the product is made in Germany and the guy says “And you know Germans make good stuff!” Good thing we don’t air this one on Me-TV during “Hogan’s Heroes”…I believe this spot also contains some really lame testimonials from “regular people” one of whom gushes “all I can say about it is- SHAM WOW!!!”
Another one that’s getting less than high marks is the Bo-flex commercial with the 50-somethingyear old guy with the shaved head, who can’t seem to stop dropping the tidbit of information that he’s in a rock band. He’s in the best shape of his life-oh, and he’s also in a rock band. He’s now living his dreams and- hey! He also plays in rock band! What, does the Bo-flex also work as a guitar stand?(By the way- did I mention I’m 56 years old, and I sing on TV every week- badly?!)