May 1- Waiting for Spring, a Check, and…Sven- In Person!!!

What? A new month already?! Wait, it’s May- soon we should all be getting our economic stimulus checks from the government (if you have direct deposit, they keep saying it’s already sent!) I got a good laugh last weekend, when at least two dopey TV news anchors said “the check is in the mail!” and then proceeded to read that the only checks sent were sent via computer, direct deposit. So- no actual check was in the actual mail. I know, that’s the clichéd phrase, so they jumped on that, but still…
Is it finally warming up? Dare I believe that Spring has sprung? My hopes have been dashed before- especially when the temperature got to summertime levels…then, took the nosedive that eventually brought the temps down to around thirty overnight. Granted, along the way, we got the excitement of the earthquake, but I’d rather just have the warmer temps, thank you…while hot hot hot weather is not Mr. Goolie’s friend (believe me, a black tuxedo jacket and all that hair makes the “feels like” temperature comparable to
taking a quick dip in a volcano at times)-warmth is welcome…to an extent. When the outside temperature makes the inside temperature in our studio, with the additional heat of the studio lights, head into the discomfort zone, one has to be careful that one’s moustache doesn’t sweat off. The heat doesn’t do much for rubber chickens, either…
With some Sven public appearances coming up in a month, I have to hope for: a) moderate temperatures; b) NO RAIN!!! nobody likes a soggy goolie; and c) Sven fans coming out to see me, without having to worry about weather. Actually, I shouldn’t worry about that, after last winter’s tour of the fine Max Madsen auto dealerships, where many loyal and hearty (weren’t they that comedy team-Stan Loyal and Oliver Hearty?) Svengoolie fans turned out in great numbers –AND in freezing weather. Rumor has it that I will be helping Berwyn celebrate its centennial- that’s right, 100 years of BERWYN?!- at their special parade, right down Cermak Road. Later in the month- occurring earlier this year- is the beloved Flashback Weekend horror convention-which, of course, is indoors, so the weather isn’t a factor- except for that one year, when it was SO hot in the area where I was signing, that our staff asked for a fan- and somebody said-“take your pick! There are hundreds of them in line to get Sven’s autograph!” Har-de-har-HAR…
Anyway, great god of weather Skilling- PLEASE don’t tease us any longer! Let it be Spring! Let the temperatures mellow for a month, so that, when I go out to meet and greet my viewers , I won’t be the only thing that’s balmy…