April 29- Windshield Vipers

So I’m going to one of those big variety stores- one of the ones that starts with “K” or “Wal” or...uh…“Target”…and park in the lot, and go in to look for something that, naturally, even though it’s the first day of the sale as mentioned in the circular, isn’t in stock. So, I wander around the store, and accidentally find a few things that I need, purchase said items, and head back to the car. As I approach, I think that I spot a parking ticket or something affixed under one of my windshield wipers. Oh, great! What could I possibly have done? I recall having gotten a parking ticket previously when they were doing construction on the same lot, even though they had NOT marked the area I was parked in as forbidden…but, no construction this time- so- what had I done?
Then, I noticed that every car in the lot had the same thing under its windshield-and realized I had been the victim of the purveyor of an out-moded form of advertising- the under-wiper flyer affixer.
How many times has that happened to you? You park somewhere, and, when you return to you car- there’s a piece of paper stuck under a windshield wiper, promoting some sale or service at some business. Are you ever happy to see one of these missives stuck to your car? Most times, my reaction is-
what idiot stuck this on my car? Did they screw up the wiper?
And, most importantly- I wouldn’t go to this place being advertised for anything!
Advertisers-please take note. Most people don’t appreciate having someone mess with that wiper on their car- it’s not too hard for somebody in a hurry to pace a whole lot of flyer on a whole lot of cars to screw it up by pulling on it, messing with the blade, etc. This already puts the car owner into a negative mood regarding whatever you’re trying to sell them. Secondly,
You should stop by the lot, oh, say, a couple hours after your busy little worker bees have successfully attached a flyer to every car- and see how many of the flyers are now covering the ground like autumn leaves. I would love to see some store owner call the business, if they had not given them permission to leaflet their customers’ cars, and tell them that they would be charged for the refuse clean-up of all the flyers that customers removed in anger and tossed away-thus littering the lot.
I say the time has come to end this form of advertising! Down with these windshield vipers! Now please excuse me- I need to go stick some “George Lopez” publicity sheets on the cars stuck on “the Spindle” at Cermak Plaza in Berwyn…(and don’t forget to watch George Lopez for your chance to win some free gas- or more!…why didn’t they ask me to come up with the contest tag line? “George Lopez Gives Me Gas”?)