March 27- Contacting Some Spirits (And I Do Mean Spirits)

Yesterday in one of the newspapers (the one without ties to the Cubs) there was an article recounting a medium contacting the spirit of some old Cubs player whose life was somewhat the basis for the film “the Natural.” The spirit was ‘angry”- and it was speculated that it might be due to the whole Sam Zell/possible team sale thing. Sure it is.
It seems only fair that WE try to contact a spirit with ties to Chicago baseball, and, with the recent controversy over the “imitation Harry” ads- I’ve decided that we should try to contact the man himself- Harry Caray. Using my great psychic (or is it psycho) powers, and firmly grasping a can of Budweiser (you can’t conjure a spirit without spirits- HEY!)-I know request that the spirit of Harry join us…Harry, can you hear me? Harry?
“…hello again, everybody…say, who’s hogging the Budweiser?”
…(naturally, the first thing he notices is the Budweiser) Harry- it’s me- Svengoolie!
“…Stan Goulet? Didn’t you play shortstop for the Sheboygan Sheep?”
No, it’s Svengoolie- Harry, we want to contact you and see if you’re angry…
“…well, Ben, come to think of it, I am hungry- a nice chicken vesuvio from Harry Caray’s would sure hit the spot about now…”
(Wow- he’s still getting in the plugs, even from the other side…)…Harry- I said “angry”- are you angry about those commercials with the guy imitating you?
“…is he supposed to be imitating me? Come on- first of all, he’s not a good enough looking youngster! Hawhawh…and, second, he doesn’t sound a bit like me…he sounds like Walter Brennan after getting hit by a foul ball right in the-”
HARRY! So, you’re not upset by the imitation?
“Aw, nothing upsets me…after all, it’s almost opening day and –hey! Look there! Boris Karloff is joining us in the fleecy fields today! You know, Karloff spelled backwards is ‘Ffolrak’…”
…Really? Boris is…uh, anyway, Harry- how do you feel about the possible sale of the team, and the ballpark WITH naming rights?
“Listen, Stan, I’m having a little trouble hearing you…let’s have Arnie and his technical boys try to fix tha…”
…Harry? Harry? I wonder why he suddenly couldn’t hear me- oh my gosh. The can of Bud I’m holding- it…it’s EMPTY!