February 2008 Archives

Look Before You Leap (Once Every 4 Years)

I will not be writing another blog like this for about four years. No, that doesn’t mean I’m abandoning the Sven blog- it’s just today’s blog- which is the “Leap Day” blog! The one extra day added to the calendar in a Leap Year- which won’t occur for another four years. The first official Leap Year was back in 1582. Not nearly as far back- at the beginning of the month- I explained the “wonder” of Leap Year and the out-dated tradition of it being “okay” for a woman to ask a man to marry him on this day (check it out- the February 1st blog!)
One thing that I didn’t bring up is the famed “birthday” conundrum…that someone born on a Leap Day is only a quarter of their actual age (i.e.- someone born in 2004 is supposedly only one year old, since the actual February 29 date hasn’t occurred since then, har de har.) Rapper Ja Rule  was a Leap Day baby, as was a famous old stripper, Tempest Storm (wait- does that mean she was taking off her clothes for people when she was technically ‘underage’? Ewww…) Anyway, a person born on the Leap Day is called a “leapling.” That sounds like a German term of endearment (”Come walk with me through the edelweiss, leapling…”) Speaking of romantic things, evidently, in Greece, some people think that getting married in a Leap Year is bad luck for a couple. Let’s face it- for some couples, just the idea of getting married is bad luck, no matter what the year…
So, today, February 29, is a day steeped in folklore, strange tradition and superstition-and we won’t see another Leap Year until 2012.I heard one dopey weekend morning weathercaster bemoaning the fact that the extra day shows up in February- “why couldn’t it show up during the summer?” That reminds me of an old joke that I think I heard Goldie Hawn do on the original “Laugh-In” show back in the late 60s- “I think they should move Christmas to July, because the stores are much less crowded then!” Come to think of it, I’d probably rather watch Goldie do the weather than the previously mentioned sad sack.
So- what are you going to do with this “extra day”- as if it IS some actual bonus day? Any of you ladies going to ask a guy to marry you? I read a column in the paper that stated this is a rare February where people who get paychecks every two weeks on Friday would be getting an “extra” paycheck, since this February has an extra fifth Friday that the month normally doesn’t have. Are you going to squander this “extra” check like a tax refund? Is anybody celebrating a birthday for one quarter of their age? Does that mean you have to cut the cake into four pieces? Isn’t Leap Day the most useless of days to make a big deal about?!   

Guess Again!

I’m sure, just like me- you occasionally will see or hear someone make a statement that brings forth your derisive nature, and prompts you to follow their statement with the smart-aleck retort- “Guess again!” Here are a few items that have recently made me give the “GA” reply…
-I saw whoever that moronic talk radio rabble-rouser was, making his supposed support speech for McClain-including some allegedly inflammatory stuff regarding Obama, which McClain immediately dis-associated himself from- which prompted Mr. Radio Moron to whine and cry and say he’s now going to switch his support to –Hilary Clinton! I’m sure this guy’s radio audience- with his type, it’s usually similar-thinking sheep who follow anything he says-will accept that (uh…I meant that sarcastically…)- I’m sure his switch of support is, in his mind, a smart idea, and a “that’ll teach them!” maneuver. So- say it with me…”Guess again!”
-Speaking of radio, a local “guy and gal” team was talking about Jimmy Kimmel, and how they would do something that would encourage him to HIRE them in the future…as what, people to clean up his dressing room? Makes me want to say-
“Guess again!”
-Once again, there have been a few people who have contacted me for one supposed reason or another- when, in reality, their whole point is that they think I can get them a job here. Turn up the volume for this one, kids- “GUESS AGAIN!”
-I’ve probably mentioned this before, but it keeps happening- do you get requests for donations from charities that include a nickel or dime stuck to it? Do they really think that’s the best way to “guilt” people into returning the coin, with a donation?
And- whether it’s just a nickel or not- do I really want to contribute to an organization that’s asking for money, yet sending out a fair amount of money that WILL NOT BE RETURNED?! Sure, here’s my donation- now, instead of using it to help the cause you’re supporting- send some of it out to people who will get it in the mail, peel the coin off the form, and toss the form into the trash. Am I writing you a check now? Guess again!
-And- with St. Patrick’s Day coming up next month, will we disappoint those loyal Sven fans who always look forward to the encore performance of our bit featuring the shillelagh-swinging leprechaun, who does a duet with Sven about the fine St. Paddy’s Day celebration? Guess again- and keep checking here- I promise I’ll tip you off about in which movie it’ll show up! Last year, it was relegated to a webisode only, and I certainly heard about it from fans of the green-clad gremlin of Galway…
- Am I going to write a few more lines for this blog? Guess again…

The DOG’S Name Was ‘ Indiana!’

Somebody brought me a copy of the trailer for the upcoming movie “Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull”-and, I have to say, I’m, looking forward to seeing this movie.
I’m a big fan of the Indiana Jones films (yeah, least favorite- the second one) and am glad they finally got their act together to bring us one more tale of the whipper-snapper.
If you get to see the trailer, there are a couple things that peaked my interest- one of the scenes has Indy and a truck careening through a warehouse loaded with boxes- which looks a lot like the big government warehouse where the Ark of the Covenant was being put at the end of the first movie. Is this the same place? We also get a quick cut of a woman leaning over a container that seems to magnetically attract a medallion she’s wearing- and the container is labelled “Roswell!” Oooh, the intrigue builds already! Guess we’ll have to wait until the May release for some answers…
I was sorry to hear that Sean Connery won’t be reprising his role as Indy’s dad in this film- I really liked the interplay between the father and son in the last one. I still laugh thinking of Indy complaining that his father keeps calling him “Junior” instead of “Indiana”- and Connery stating- “The DOG’S name was Indiana!” Based on that, a couple I know named one of their dogs that same name! (No, not “Junior”…)
What’s the hidden connection between Indy himself- Harrison Ford- and yours truly? I might have mentioned it before- no, it’s not that we both wear hats when we’re working…nor that we deal with skulls (in his case, a crystal one- in my case, Tombstone)…the actual fact is- both of us attended Maine East High School right here in Park Ridge (I got there about eleven years later than when he was there)- AND- we both were on the staff of the high school’s FM radio station, WMTH!
Harrison’s career there was not quite as successful as mine- the story was that he was booted off the station for some reason. Obviously, that little setback didn’t go on his permanent record, or he might never have become Han Solo…
There was an attempt, a few years back, for one of the radio station’s reunions that “Harry” (as he was known back in his school days) might be convinced to make an appearance- but, it never came about. No doubt he’d heard the rumor that there might be snakes in the area (“why does it have to be snakes?!”)
…or knew there was some strange alumnus who spends a little too much time with rubber chickens- “wait! Harry! What about another sequel- “Indiana Jones and the Plasticine Pullets of Peril”?

I guess I should mention that, on my Oscar contest ballot here at the station, I guessed so poorly that I came in at a tie for fifth place (actually, they called it eighth, because a lot of people came in fourth!) Some years, I just tape the whole thing and zip through it later, but I watched most of it live this year…and got sort of bored. I will say that there seemed to be far fewer “total disaster” formal dresses this time …unless they just didn’t show them. Wait a minute- since when am I the fashion critic? For a guy who’s basically been wearing the same outfit over almost 30 years, I should talk…
I sent a joke over to my pal Zay Smith of the Sun Times “QT” column- it’s always entertaining. Here’s the joke, which I really should make into a bit- a mock movie trailer or something: is it true that Daniel Day Lewis’ next film project will be a biographical picture about Harry Caray titled- “There Will Be Bud”?!…thank you, thank you, ladies and gentlemen…
I got a message from a young man whose father claims to have gone to high school with me. He insists that he did, even though he was a few years younger than I. The only problem is- he went to Morton East- and I went to MAINE East. This happens every so often- I get people who swear they went to school with me- and, in reality, they went to a totally different school than I did, often during totally different years than I did. I’ve also heard stories about people claiming they met me in some bar I’ve never been to- which make me think somebody is attempting to get free drinks by pretending they’re me…good luck with THAT…
Thanks for your continued support of our Saturday night Sven shows, and the “Stooge-a-palooza” franchise, as well…and, for those of you who have been asking, the vintage Sven shows are slated to show up on the new “MeToo” station (launching in March) overnights Friday at 3 am! Those of you who stayed up or set a tape for last summer’s late night Svens during the week can now enjoy a bonus “classic” show every week. I understand we will also be launching a “MeTV Milwaukee” channel in March- at first, it may be digital only at 58.3, but may also be available on cable…and Sven shows will appear there as well- check your local listing (for those of you on a diet, check your low-cal listing…)-the rumor I’ve heard is that Sven will air at midnight Saturdays!
It’s cool that so many people are getting more chances to catch our shows…I just wish all the folks who write from all over the country could see what we’re up to lately!   

Read Back Your Feedback!

Let’s catch up on some of the words of wisdom you guys have been sending me at svengoolie@wciu.com  (by the way, we know the comment tab here at the blog hasn’t been working right- they’re seeing what they can do to rectify that situation!)
Regarding the passing of Ben Chapman, the gentleman who was in the “Creature from the Black Lagoon” suit for all the land-based scenes in the original movie- we did get a few nice messages from people who had met him at one convention or other, and confirmed what a nice guy Ben was, always very friendly and grateful for the loyalty and love of the Gill Man fans. John, a constant Sven viewer, mentioned meeting Ben at a collector’s show back in 2003, where he signed a creature poster for him. Ben said filming the Creature film was a real pleasure, because he’d get to see Julia Adams every day! We will mention Ben’s passing during a show next month- we’ve been working ahead on programs-so, please don’t think we’re ignoring his passing in the current shows- they were already shot.
When I wrote about the fun places that used to be in Chicago’s Old Town area, a few folks from the SvengoolieWeb Yahoo group had their own memories to add to mine about the Royal London Wax Museum and the “Ripley’s Believe It or Not” museum. Doug remembered the big marketplace called “Bizarre Bazaar”- one-stop shopping for the hippie culture- that included lost of “far-out” stuff, hippie clothes, beads and sunglasses, hats, incense, posters, bumper stickers, underground comics, and more! Doug said you always had the feeling that the cops would be storming in any minute! He said he had heard a rumor that it was gone- and Greg wrote that
It has, indeed, been long gone- and that he used to pick up bootleg LPs (those are record albums, kids) there-he also mentioned seeing Steve Goodman at the old “Earl of Old Town”- a great folk music venue, where the original Sven, Jerry G. Bishop, actually did one of his NBC Sunday afternoon live “Chicago Camera” shows (he did it as himself, not Sven.)
I got an e-mail from Ellen, who reminded me that Old Town also had the original “House of Lewis” clothing store- a sponsor of the original Jerry Sven show! I also recall that, almost right next to it, there was a night spot with some “unusual” entertainment- seemed like anytime we passed by, on the curtain over its front window, you’d see the shadow of some young woman gyrating. Unfortunately, all I ever got to see was the shadow…we were too under-aged to gain entry
to that joint!
Thanks for always letting me know what’s on your mind when you read what’s on my mind- keep those comments coming!   

The Astrological Choice For a Career

With Oscar night tonight, let’s wish our pal Kevin J. O’Connor, who visited us during our “Mummy” show, luck- no, he isn’t personally nominated, but he was a player in the big movie “There Will Be Blood”-he plays the guy who shows up and claims to be Daniel Day Lewis’ brother! Any awards the film gets can only bring Kevin more success, so we wish him well…
Since Kevin’s birthday is November 15, let’s see if he’s in the right line of work. What I’m talking about is an article I read online, which claimed to show you what job you should have, according to your astrological sign. With his birthdate, Kevin would be a Scorpio- and, the article says that his intensity, drive and analytic ability makes politics, police investigation, and the military fitting fields for him. Hmmm… well, another actor, Mr. Reagan, did okay in politics- and I think Kevin played some sort of police employee in a recent pilot he was in…and, as far as the military goes- he’s currently shooting a role in a VERY military movie, though I don’t think he’s an actual military guy. The article indicates that he could earn a whopping $43,038 as an undercover agent (how do they know?) - $84,767 as an astronomer, or-$54,598 as an internal affairs investigator. Yeah, but would it be as much fun as being in “the Mummy” or “Peggy Sue Got Married”?
“What about YOU?” I hear several dozen cyber-minds asking.
What job should I supposedly be suited for, according to this article? Well, with a March 12 birthday (keep that in mind for next month!)- I’m a Pisces (you always knew there was something fishy about me) and the article states that my compassion makes me well-suited for a career in health care, social work, philanthropy, or veterinary science!(In reality, I’m more IN NEED of health care, am more inclined to anti-social work, could use someone else’s philanthropy, and, though I have a friend who is a highly-regarded name in veterinary science, I’m more comfortable playing with animals than treating them.) The article also states that the artistic, imaginative side of Pisceans would engage me in- a career in theater or film-most likely meaning as an usher in a movie theater, or at the counter of a Walgreens film cubicle (now they have those machines, so I’d just be the guy who shows you which part of the touch-screen to press.)It says , as a veterinarian, I’d make about $79,452…as a nurse, I’d make $52,035… but, as an actor- I’d make $33,103…so, I’d better ask for a raise!!!

Sven Gives You a “Hand” Tonight!

It’s not often that you run into a movie that takes its title from a embalmed body part- but, tonight on Svengoolie, you will- it’s “the Mummy’s Hand!” Supposedly picking up the story from the classic “Mummy” we ran last week, this sequel reveals that the Mummy still exists,(but-with a name change- he’s no longer “Im-Ho-Tep” but “Kharis”) kept alive by a secret society of high priests who nourish him with a brew made from tanna leaves. They’re keeping him around as a sort of security system, since he’s mainly being used to keep anyone from finding and despoiling the tomb of his great love, Princess Annanka (also a different name from the previous film) A young archeologist and his goofy assistant discover clues to the secret tomb’s whereabouts- and set out to find it, aided by the money of a wacky vaudeville magician, mush to the dismay of his daughter! The secret cult gets wind of the search, and soon, the revived Mummy is on a path of murder and mayhem, as it attempts to protect the Princess’ scared tomb.
You’ll see some clips from the original film used as a flashback in this movie, but- with one big difference. They’ve reshot any scenes with Boris Karloff, replacing him with the actor who plays the Mummy in this film, Tom Tyler. Another thing you’ll notice is the eerie (and somewhat primitive) special effect used to black out the Mummy’s eyes in order to make him seem more otherworldly! We’ll tell you all about it in the show-as well as presenting a favorite Sven parody song originally done by Pink, but, of course, with a Svengoolie lyric transplant playing off the action in the movie (and, by the way- for those who have been asking us to repeat another favorite Sven song- our parody of “Gold-digger”- just sit tight- it’ll be back in a couple of weeks!) For those of you who have been missing “Svensurround” -we’ll have a few scenes treated in that amazing process at the conclusion of the film!
This movie came out about eight years after Karloff’s original “Mummy”- and just about one year after Karloff had played the Frankenstein Monster for a final time in “Son of Frankenstein.” I guess this sequel, with the name changes and such, could’ve been “Son of the Mummy”- but, since the Wrapped One never quite got to hook up with his intended, that wouldn’t seem logical (like keeping a mummy alive with tanna leaf tea IS?!) In any case, I’ll tee up “The Mummy’s Hand” tonight at nine- or, on Me-TV at 1 am!

We’ve Lost the “Land” Gill Man

If you’re interested in getting a copy of the “Chicago TV Horror Movie Shows: from Shock Theatre to Svengoolie” book, and want it signed by the authors- the guys will be at a sci-fi event at the Portage Theater this Saturday. Info is in the current Chicago “Reader”…
We’ve got some sad news- Ben Chapman, who was inside the “Creature from the Black Lagoon” costume when they shot scenes on land, passed away yesterday morning. He was 83 years old. Ben had been in poor health for a while, and had really missed making appearances at fan conventions- he truly loved to interact with “Creature” fans and was touched by their affection for him. Everyone who had ever met him had nothing but kind words about what a great guy he was.
We talked about Ben when we aired the “Creature” film-he made a whopping 300 bucks a week while working on the film, as a Universal stock player. He’d spend long hours in the Creature costume, since he couldn’t take it off between takes- spending up to fourteen hours in the suit! If it got too hot, he’d have a stagehand spray him with a hose! He was of Tahitian heritage, and actually worked in nightclubs and on stage as a Tahitian dancer- which was how he got his first movie role in an MGM film, getting into the same business as his cousin, actor Jon Hall. His show business career was put on hold when he joined the Marines and fought in the Korean War. His film career actually ended back in 1955, but the enduring popularity of the Gill Man had kept him busy in recent years, as he visited many fright film conventions, often appearing with Julia Adams-the lovely female the Gill Man had fixated on in the first film. He was very proud of his work on the “creature” film, obviously the most high-profile part of his career. On his website, he sold personally autographed pictures of himself as the Gill Man, and threw in a copy of his Universal contract to play the part as a bonus!(Our sponsor “Horrorbles” had an autographed photo of Ben as the Gill Man on sale not too long ago…I’m guessing if they still have it, it’ll be gone quickly!) He made his home in Honolulu, Hawaii- a fitting background for a former Gill Man! Ben loved the old movies, and the old actors- he had commented that quite a few of today’s stars aren’t really “stars” –they’re just “celebrities.” He also thought it’s ridiculous that every celebrity has to have bodyguards these days- in the old days, he said, you’d get laughed at if you had a bodyguard!(I’m not sure if that’s true or not, but Ben thought so…)
In his later years, Ben suffered through many health problems- such as a broken hip, and heart surgery (he had a pace-maker)-but he was always hopeful that he could get back onto the convention circuit to greet the fans.
And so, another part of the Universal monster legend has passed on. Ben will be missed.

Going for the Title!

My apologies- we’ve decided to start putting a title on each one of these daily blogs- and yesterday, I completely forgot to think of one! Since it dealt with Chase’s Calendar of Events- maybe I should have used “Go Chase Yourself” or “In the Chase Lounge” or even “Don’t Go Chasing Your Date.” On second thought, with those titles as candidates, maybe I was better off leaving it un-titled.
Anyway, so much for my mistake- I saw a great one on my way into work today. Stopped at a red light, I glanced over, and noticed an ad on top of a Yellow cab for- “a Christmas Carol” at the Goodman Theater! Now, I realize it’s been cold out, but- really! I guess they could use the excuse that they’re really giving the client a lot of extra ad time…but it doesn’t help much when the show closed a couple months ago. Maybe they’re just getting a jump on this year’s busy Christmas season!!!
I’ve been getting a lot of great comments on this new website, and the webisodes and other content, plus the fact that so many of you are relieved that the blog is back up (and the ones you missed while it was away are posted here as well.) For those who’ve had problems with the site, we do forward them to the folks who work on our website, and they’ll see what they can do to make things better. There will be more Sven stuff coming up in the future, and I’m very happy that we now have a great in-house Sven site for all the fans of the show. Being at the station, in my lucky thirteenth year here, having management go through the rigors of getting us the Universal movies, and other movies to come, really makes me feel like they’ve given me a vote of confidence.
Speaking of votes- again, to answer the question- yes, you can still vote for Svengoolie as best horror host of 2007 for the Rondo awards- but time is running out. Go to this site:
www.classichorrorfilmboard.com/rondos/rondos.html
for all the information about voting. You can vote for as many categories as you wish, or, if you don’t want to deal with the whole ballot, and just want to put in a vote for Sven- there’s an e-mail address, and you can just send a quick e-mail saying who you’re voting for, in what category. PLEASE read the rules- remember, you need to include your name!
Okay, maybe I can get ahead on finding a title for tomorrow’s blog…how about “Let’s Get Out of the Wheat Field, Honey- We’re Going Against the Grain”? Hmm…now, I ‘d have to write something that makes sense with that title…oh well, back to the drawing board…or titling board…

I was looking at a bunch of books here in our office area- some left behind by former co-workers, some that we get from authors seeking publicity, some that originate from parts unknown- and found a copy of the old “Chase’s Calendar of Events” for the year 2006.The Chase calendar is very familiar to most people who worked in radio in the dear dim past- because, before the internet, this was the source of “wacky deejay filler.”
You see, the Chase calendar is a day to day listing of every day of the year, featuring historic stuff that happened on each day, birthdays, events, etc.-so, before you could just “Google” information, we’d find it in this hefty book- stuff like “hey! It’s National Pancake Week!” or “today is Engelbert Humperdink’s birthday-his real name is Jerry Dorsey!” We’d use the information as the basis for comedy bits, as well. I was once asked to create stuff for a possible syndicated radio feature that would be based on what went on each day- I remember working on one bit that honored “National Clown Week,” though I can’t recall what I wrote.
The 1996 copy I have here weighs in at 592 pages- and I remember it would just get bigger and bigger every year, since more birthdays  and events would be added. I’m not sure why we had this copy here, unless it was for the old “Homework Show” and they’d find historic events for certain days.
So- what’s on the listing for today? First of all, here’s what we missed yesterday- Sven’s birthday- not me, but one Sven Hedin, a Swedish explorer who established the first knowledge of Tibet- and-it was “Bun Day” in Iceland! Kids invade homes with colorful sticks and receive gifts of whipped cream buns. Any kids try that here, and they’ll get a different kind of whipped buns…
Okay, today, February 20th- it’s Bursting Day in Iceland (no reflection on Bun Day yesterday)-no, wait, sorry- that was just that year, since it was “Fat Tuesday” in 1995.But- in Lebanon, PA- it’s “Northern Hemisphere Hoodie-Hoo Day”- at high noon, residents are to go outside and yell “hoodie-hoo” to chase away winter. From the way it’s been around here, we’re gonna need more than a “hoodie-hoo”…it’s also the day when the astrological sign Pisces (of which I am a proud member) takes over the Zodiac. And- in 1992- Ross Perot first answered the question Larry King asked- if there were any circumstances under which he’d run for president! We know how well that worked out…in the birthday file; they included Bobby Unser, Charles Barkley, Sidney Poitier, Patty Hearst, and Kurt Cobain, who had died just two years previously.
Amazingly, even with the Internet, you can still buy the Chase’s calendar of events for around 65 bucks- it even comes with CD Rom now. Why you’d order it, when you can find all the same info on line for free, is beyond me.
But, it’s also beyond me to determine if tomorrow is still “Yukon Sourdough Rendezvous” time in the Canadian Yukon- complete with a beard-growing contest… (and happy birthday, Tyne Daly…was she Cagney or Lacey?)

BEWARE OF THE BLOG

Well, as many of you have known, the daily blog had been off the site for a while, but, thanks to the hard work of our web folks, it’s back-complete with all the entries you may have missed! I’m glad to hear that so many of you actually missed my daily rants-and sorry if you missed out on anything, like last Friday night’s Sven appearance at the Portage to celebrate our sponsor “Horrorbles” second birthday celebration. In spite of the line cut-off, we end ed up autographing overtime- and I hope that the patrons can forgive us for having the movies start later due to that! Our thanks to John and his crew, the staff of the Portage, and all of you who came out…and let me again state- signing those little tiny rubber chicken keychains is preparing me for a career writing the Declaration of Independence on a grain of rice, like they used to have at the old “Ripley’s Believe It or Not” museum! (Okay, maybe it wasn’t the Declaration…that might have been on a potato chip…)
That reminds me- whatever happened to some of those great old tourist traps that used to be in Old Town? The Ripley’s Museum was one of them…I know it was a franchised thing, with similar museums all over the country…but it was always a fun outing. It was kind of suspicious that many of the “one of a kind” items ended up in ALL the museums, though…

Okay, and correct me if I’m wrong- wasn’t there also a wax museum in Old Town? It had Hollywood stars, famous characters, and a “chamber of horrors” wing at the very end.
I always remember that there was a wax “customer” in that area, that looked like some guy just leaning and looking at one of the exhibits- but, actually just a dummy (no jokes about me, please…)-we would always bring pals there for a fun visit, and one of our group, as we entered the area with our friends who hadn’t been there before, would run up to the customer, and act like he was beating on him- shocking our pals who didn’t realize it was not a real person! Actually, the wax figures, for the most part, were pretty well made-though the “Barbra Streisand” and the Alice in Wonderland “ Mad Hatter” seemed a little too similar…not sure when they closed those tourist attractions, but they are definitely a big memory from my young adulthood. They weren’t short-time attractions, like that “Capone’s Chicago” deal that was downtown for a while…
or the really short-lived “Jekyll and Hyde Club” or “Disney Quest”…unlike those, it seemed like the wax museum and Ripley’s were around for several years. If anybody else has memories of them-drop me a line- at svengoolie@wciu.com

Hail to the Creeps

Today is President’s Day! Famous for sales of mattresses, automobiles, etc.- at least, that’s what any alien arriving today would surmise from   watching TV or checking out newspaper ads…
With the upcoming choosing of a president looming on the horizon- have we ever discussed which of our famous monsters might be a good choice for Commander in Chief of this great land? In many cases, we’d have to make sure that it was all right for said monster candidate to NOT have been born in this country-after all, Dracula, the Mummy, and The Frankenstein Monster (at least many of his various parts) hail from other countries.
Count Dracula already seems like a diplomat, with his lovely formal wear, his fine courtly manners , and wisdom of the ages- but detractors may feel that he might suck the federal budget dry. He could save the country some money by not having to use Air Force One for flights, however. His state of the union messages would easily continue the tradition of always landing during prime time on television-since he wouldn’t be available during daylight hours.
The Mummy might be a fine President- okay, I know some of you are saying that he already WAS (Ronald Reagan)- and that’s just plain mean…even if I aid it, too. He could obviously improve relations with the desert countries-but might end up wrapped up in bureaucratic red tape (especially if bandages weren’t readily available.) He could, however, be accused of illegal financial actions, especially pyramid schemes.
Here’s a fine name for a President- Lawrence Talbot! A man of the people- in fact, a WOLF man of the people- his campaign motto could be- “Do you think that moon is half-empty- or half-full?” He’d definitely win over the animal rights groups, and, he could undeniably promise change – every time there was a full moon. His “Condoleesa Rice” would be Maleva the Gypsy Woman, and the Pentagon would be replaced with the Pentagram, and…wait a minute- didn’t they already do all this in that movie we showed, “Werewolf of Washington?” I KNEW it all sounded so familiar…
Somehow, I don’t see the Creature from the Black Lagoon as presidential timber-although he’d be an advocate for clean water; and the Frankenstein Monster would probably have to take a back seat to his Bride- who might just end up as the first female President! After all, she keeps up with ...wait for it…”current” affairs! But, the topic is “election”-and not “electrocution”…so, I don’t think lightning will strike this “monster for President” idea twice. And, please don’t suggest that Sven run for President…I don’t want a cabinet, I’ve already got a coffin…

Things a Typical Sven Fan Knows

It has occurred to me that all of you Svengoolie fans are a rare breed- gifted in knowledge that others might never acquire…
So, today, I thought I would list a few of these nuggets of wisdom in case anyone’s education has been lacking…
-you know that “C.H.U.D.” stands for “Cannibalistic Humanoid Underground Dwellers”… and that the movie by that name was the first Sven program here at WCIU…
-you know the accepted pronunciation of “Berwyn”- higher pitch on the first syllable, lower pitch on the second, along with a inquistive tone…
-you laugh when you hear someone use the phrase “no personal checks!”(If you don’t get this one- watch the show and pay close attention to the ad for the Sven t-shirt…)
-you know what Lucille Ball, Don Knotts, and Alan Hale Jr.
have in common (no, not “Me-TV”- they’ve all been on the show in non-horror films!)
-whenever you buy a Tombstone pizza, you expect to see a picture of a skull with a large moustache on the wrapper…
-when you’re watching a cheesy movie, and someone slams a car door, you expect to hear the sound effect of broken glass (thanks to your repeated exposure to “Svensurround”)…
-you know that Dipstick from Orland Park loves to watch the George Lopez show on WCIU…
-you know that, most of the time, the person asked to hit the theme is Kevin…
-when you hear certain songs on the radio, you always remember the lyrics to the “hook” line from the Svengoolie parody version of said song…
-you voted for Sven as “best horror host of 2007” for the Rondo awards at: www.classichorrorfilmboard.com/rondos/rondos.html
-you know that interns have the deadliest aim of all people on the Sven crew who throw chickens at him…
-you can easily complete this poem: “even a man who is pure of heart, and says his prayers by night- can become a wolf- when the wolf bane blooms…(extra points if you added-“and his underwear’s too tight!”)
-you know that a doorbell will always ring on the show at approximately 10:58 pm…
-you know that Sven couldn’t think of a subject for today’s blog, and just came up with a handy handful of filler that was still somewhat amusing…(uh- it…was amusing…right? Right?)

February 16- It’s the Mummy, Dummy…

You get to enjoy two generations of “Mummy” stars tonight at 9 pm on Svengoolie- when we present the classic Boris Karloff feature “The Mummy”- which includes our visit with Kevin J. O’Connor, the fine actor (currently seen in the acclaimed motion picture “There Will Be Blood”) who played the sleazy and comedic Beni character in the 1999 hit remake (which seems to be running on cable TV constantly) of “the Mummy!”
The original film, which we have tonight, back in 1932, was
Made to capitalize not only on the Egyptian craze that had started upon the discovery of King Tut’s tomb- but also one of the vehicles that came after Boris Karloff was such a sensation as the Monster the previous year in “Frankenstein”- and was so notorious and associated with horror, that they billed him strictly as –“Karloff!” This is the only Universal monster flick of this time period that was NOT originally a creation of the literary world-it wasn’t based on a book, like “Frankenstein” or “Dracula”.
We see a tomb unearthed, containing the Mummy- and a scroll which can supposedly bring the dead back to life. A foolish young explorer reads the scroll- and suddenly- the bandaged Boris is animated! This is that famous scene where the explorer laughs hysterically, as the Mummy trundles off into the desert with the valuable scroll.
Soon, a new expedition arrives, looking for the tomb of an Egyptian princess- and a strange old Egyptian appears to help show the way to the exact location. It’s the familiar story of the living Mummy trying to transform the possible reincarnation of his lost love into a being like himself, and another one of the more atmospheric features of the classic Universal era.
Naturally, we’ve got lots of Sven content for you- the foremost being the Kevin J. O’Connor segments, in which Kevin tells about his love of these old horror movies, and the thrill of being a part of the newer Universal horrors like “the Mummy” and “Van Helsing”- in which he played the hunchbacked assistant to Dracula, Ygor! It was an honor to have Kevin join us for the program, and a flattering thrill to know that he’s been a Sven fan for a long time, and has spread the word in Hollywood about Sven- not to mention, discovering that there are already many Sven fans out in La La Land!
So- get set for the classic “Mummy” tonight (yes, it’s also available at 1 am on our sister station, Me-TV)- and, we WILL have more Mummy movies coming up in the next few weeks!

I read in Stella Foster’s column in yesterday’s Chicago Sun Times that today is the birthday of Paul Harvey Junior. That reminded me of Paul Jr.’s long-time loyalty to the Svengoolie family! Never knew that? Well, get ready for- the REST of the story!
Back when the original Svengoolie, Jerry G. Bishop, was recording his shows at WFLD- Paul Harvey (senior) would tape feature commentaries sin the very same studio (fortunately for Paul, using a different set!)Paul Junior was a fan of Jerry’s show, and often would come to tapings, as did I as a sort of “unofficial” employee of Jerry’s, at first. There was an old upright piano on the set (the same one we used when I finally came on as “Son of Svengoolie”- and I remember that Paul Jr. was an amazing pianist, and would sometimes play the piano.
Flash-forward in time- a few years ago, one of our production managers had gone to a charity event and came back telling me that Paul Jr. had been there, and sent his greetings- he was now a fan of my show!
The proof of this came a year or two later, when I was doing one of the “Hallowed Haunts” events at the Symphony Center (this was before they decided it would be better to replace me with…ahem…mimes)-I was in the lobby before the show, signing autographs and posing for pictures- when a gentleman comes over- and it was Paul Harvey Jr.! We talked a little, and I asked him how his father was doing- and he said, pointing- “he’s right over there!” And, indeed he was-I got to shake hands with the great broadcasting legend himself! It appeared that the entire Harvey family had come out for the concert, and it was a great honor to perform for them, as well as with a fine orchestra. So- happy birthday, Paul Jr.- hope you have a…GOOD -DAY! (I know, enough with the Paul Harvey jokes-about which Paul Sr. certainly seems to have a great sense of humor-luckily for low buffoons like me!)
And, if you’re like the Harveys, and want to come to a Sven appearance-let me remind you that I’m at the Portage Theater, 4050 N. Milwaukee in Chicago, tonight- signing autographs and posing for pictures before the “Horrorbles” birthday celebration double-feature on the big screen. Remember, I’m slated to be signing from 7 to 8:30- but, depending on the crowd- the autograph line may be cut off by 8,to make sure the movies will begin on time, so come early! And- there will be more Sven appearances to come this year! Just watch this space for more information!

Yes, it’s Valentine’s Day- no, not named for the famous old professional wrestler nemesis of the Hulkster, Greg “the Hammer” Valentine- a day when heart-shaped mementos of affection abound. Most days of the year, if you left someone something shaped like a human heart, chances are that you’d be getting a call from the local police department…but, today, it’s encouraged!
Hearts seem to play a big part in many horror movies- check out several of the Frankenstein flicks, and you’ll see much ado about hearts. When we’ve shown “Bride of Frankenstein”- on the way to the completion of the “bride”- Dr. Frankenstein (Colin Clive) needs anew young heart, and Dr. Pretorious sends his weasly little henchman (played by Dwight Frye, who also played “Renfield” in “Dracula”- And the original hunchbacked assistant to Colin Clive in “Frankenstein”) goes out to acquire a heart –by jumping some poor woman on a shadowy street! I think I mentioned before- the original script had him actually go and kill Dr. Frankenstein’s wife, and use her heart- which was why, in the scenes when the Bride is unwrapped- she seems to have eyes for the doctor. Also, we’ve seen disembodied hearts being wired to beat through electrical power by various mad doctors in these films…
We’ve seen film versions of Edgar Allan Poe’s “Tell-tale Heart”- with the beating of a murder victim’s heart haunting the murderer. In the recent “Beowulf”- the great warrior has to pull out the very heart of the dragon creature (spawn of Angelina Jolie)-which doesn’t do his own arm any good!
Just about everyone recalls “Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom” where the evil witch doctor would pull the living heart out of the sacrificial victim’s chest-and my director Chris reminded me of the famous “Buffy the Vampire Slayer” episode “Hush”- in which the frightening silent “Gentlemen” would float along, with everyone unable to speak, and remove the hearts of various victims.
We’ve occasionally run the old British film “Dr. Blood’s Coffin” in which the afore-mentioned doc transplants a heart into a dead body in an effort to re-animate it…and, of course, any vampire movie involves driving a stake into the bloodsucker’s heart.
I know, none of this is especially fitting for Valentine’s Day- not even “My Bloody Valentine”- part of the big double feature celebration of our sponsor “Horrorbles” second birthday- at the Portage Theater tomorrow night! Yours truly will be there to sign autographs and pose for pictures from 7 to 8:30pm (they will probably stop the line for autographs at 8- so get there early!) For more details, go to horrorbles.com – maybe I’l see you there!

A while ago, I wrote about how I had suddenly been getting a lot of requests for a movie that we no longer have the rights- “Trilogy of Terror”- you know, the one with the living warrior doll that chases Karen Black around her apartment! In actuality, I get a lot of requests for things we no longer have-or don’t have.
The one thing everyone needs to understand is- first of all, just because you can get a copy of a movie at video store, or Netflix, or the big box store- that doesn’t mean we can show it on the air. I often have people write and say they have a home video movie they will send me to use on the show. This is NOT how it works, folks- we have to get movies from an authorized distributor who has legal broadcast rights to a film. Home video rights and broadcast rights are two different things-and stations get in trouble if they run a movie for which they have not purchased broadcast rights. We sign contracts that allow us to use copyrighted films for a certain period of time, or a certain number of airings. Once we hit the maximum number, or reach the final date of the contract- we can no longer legally show that film.
There are some films which have never been offered to TV stations by distributors, and have no one offering the broadcast rights- But- that doesn’t mean it’s okay to show those films. Legally, we have to have an agreement with whoever holds rights to the film, allowing us to show it.
I’ve mentioned before that we also can use “public domain” films- these are films for which ownership rights have lapsed, or were never applied for, and anyone with a copy of these films can show them. These are films you often see on cable access horror host shows, because they are the only movies that they can legally show. They also show up on some PBS stations- because they’re not expensive (pay no attention to those pledge breaks!)
Among the movies people have brought up lately are “the Twonky”- a bizarre movie we ran in the first couple years here at the U- with Hans Conried dealing with a TV set that is actually possessed by a futuristic alien! This 1953 comedy was meant to be a satiric jab at how people let TV control their lives-who knew then how much truth there was to that?! Another film asked about recently is “Godzilla 1985.” We ran that one in our first couple of years on air here as well, and it’s kind of a coincidence that, back in my “Son of Svengoolie” days, I was asked to help promote its first-run theatrical release on my show! (They even sent around a guy in a big rubber Godzilla suit, who was constantly complaining about how he was dying from the heat.) That’s another film we no longer have rights to air- and, to answer other questions, getting other Japanese giant monster flicks has become much more difficult than it used to be…but, we’ll keep trying. Just so you’ll know- we DO try to get movies that many people request, whenever we can find the rights available. It’s just that an awful lot of movies are currently in the clutches of some cable network, or priced too high for us to afford. Hey- maybe WE should do a pledge night!   

    Quick plug- yes, Svengoolie will be appearing at the Portage Theater –4050 Milwaukee in Chicago- this Friday night, as part of the 2nd birthday celebration for our fine sponsor, Horrorbles!
I’m happy to see that this great local horror collectibles and movie store has really taken off, and I know Sven fans who have visited their location on Roosevelt Road in scenic Berwyn have unanimously approved the wide selection of “wish list” type stuff they’ve found there! Whenever we show some of the items they have on the program, I get e-mails asking “where is that place?” (For full details, visit their website at horrorbles.com)
Anyway, the celebration starts with me signing autographs from 7-8:30pm (please note- get there early- chances are, if the autograph line is long enough, they’ll cut the line off around 8 o’clock to insure that everyone in line gets an autograph, and that the celebration double-feature will start on time at 8:30-featuring the appropriate films “Happy Birthday to Me” and ‘My Bloody Valentine!”) So, come celebrate and support a loyal Sven sponsor!
Speaking of birthdays, today is Abraham Lincoln’s birth date-
and it’s a special day for those of us who reside here in the “Land o’ Lincoln” (this IS the Land o’ Lincoln! It says so right on my license plates! If it were the Land o’ Lakes, we’d get excited when it was butter’s birthday!) I remember doing some sort of bit years ago about selling an expensive Lincoln mini-medallion- made of copper, bearing a small but detailed image of Lincoln. It was actually just a penny, but…
I also wonder if somehow there should be licensing for use of Lincoln’s name and image- I mean, there are towing companies, insurance agencies, and restaurants that use the good name of Lincoln…if some business called itself “Clinton
Insurance” or “Ford Motor Company” (no, wait, scratch that one) or “Carter Towing” (imagine their motto- “wait ‘til we sink our teeth into your illegally parked car!”)-wouldn’t there be a need to license that President’s name? Just wondering…
I always used to use the joke that Lincoln used to do his homework on the back of a shovel…and, wasn’t it difficult for him to fit that into the typewriter? Nowadays, would I have to change it to “where did he hook up the mouse?” See- technology may make life easier for many people, but it does water down a lot of decent jokes by making them semi-obsolete…of, well- back to writing my next blog…on the back of a shovel. Maybe THAT’S why they haven’t been posted for a while…

You may have heard that our sister station Me-TV is getting its own offshoot- “Me-Too!” It’s even more classic TV, starting March 1. For those who’ve been asking, yes, Me-Too will have a once-a-week, late-night airing of a vintage Svengoolie program! I’ll post more information soon about this, and some other additional Sven viewing soon to be available to our Milwaukee area viewers. Can you ever have too much Sven? (Don’t answer that…)
I’ve been meaning to congratulate Ted Okuda and Mark Yurkiw, whose great book “Chicago TV Horror Movie Shows: from Shock Theatre to Svengoolie” has been such a big hit, that it is about to go into a second printing! It seems that there are a lot of horror show fans, not just here, but around the country, who are delighted to see a book chronicling this subject, and, subsequently, snapping up the original run of
4000 copies. I’ve heard from people spread out all over the nation, some who are former Chicagoans, some who have seen tapes of the program, or saw it when I ran as “Son of Svengoolie” back in the 80s in various cities, and even some who have never even seen the show- and their reaction is always positive! Although some have been surprised by the interest that’s been shown in what they consider a very local, very “narrow-casting” book, I knew the loyal Sven audience would be crazy about the book, not to mention all the people I’ve heard from over the years, thanks to the internet, who have fond memories of my programs, and those of my mentor, the original Sven, Jerry G. Bishop, and Chicago’s first horror host, Terry Bennett (“Marvin” of “Shock Theatre.”)
Speaking of these shows- and ours, in particular- for those who are asking “what’s next?” after we finish up with our Universal package? First of all, the Universal flicks will be around until about the middle of the year or so-but we’re already working on acquiring another group of films to continue bringing you some great classic stuff! I can’t say anything now, but, you know I’ll tip you off to the next big Sven thing, as far as movies are concerned…let me just say that the next batch may include a little more variety, for those who’ve been raking me over the coals for too much black and white Frankenstein, Wolf Man, etc. Just keep your fingers- or, claws, or tentacles, or whatever- and be thankful that our management here really does support what we do, and listens to YOU about what you’d like to see!

Did I forget to wish you a happy Chinese New Year? The ball officially dropped on February 7, ushering in the year 4706
(I’m sure, like me, you’ll be writing 4705 on your checks for at least a couple weeks.) This is the Year of the Rat, which makes sense since it’s an election year.
If it’s the year of the rat, we should mention a couple of our favorite horror flicks that include rats…an old favorite is “Willard”-a great 1971 drive-in classic- with Bruce Davison as the title sad and creepy young man who is set upon by the world in general, including his mother (the “Bride of Frankenstein” herself- Elsa Lancaster!) and his boss (“McHale” himself- Ernest Borgnine!) he has a nice girl who’s his friend at work, but his main pals are his pet rats, Socrates and Ben (more about Ben in a moment!) The rats were infesting his old house, and his mother asked him to kill them off- but Willard spared them, fed them, and made them his lil’ pals-which comes in handy when his mom dies, leaving him the house with a huge outstanding mortgage. Willard uses his furry friends to steal money- and, later, when boss Borgnine tries to force him out of the very company that his father established- Willard sends the rats on a deadly mission of revenge!
This movie turned out to be such a cult hit, that they made a second film- “Ben”- which also hit the music charts with its title song done by- Michael Jackson!(And you thought RATS made for weird friends!) A young boy makes friends with the title rat, who is continuing his evil ways of the first movie  by leading a gang of killer rats (I’m not making this up) Authorities battle the rats in an effort to exterminate them, but Ben lives on! Unfortunately, the movie series did not, since this ended the rat race. One thing that makes me laugh is that these films were produced by Bing Crosby Productions! The idea of beloved Bing approving movies about murderous rats is a delightful scenario…
‘Willard” was re-made a few years ago, with Crispin Glover as the creepy rat-lover, but that film didn’t create much of a stir-even if it did have former drill sergeant turned actor R. Lee Ermey in the Ernest Borgnine role. Here’ s a great trivia note: one of the actors who turned down the role of Willard was
Macaulay Culkin- wouldn’t it have been great if he did “Home Alone 4: Rat’s Amore”- and took his revenge on the hapless robbers with an army of vicious rats? …okay, maybe not…

To misquote Fats Domino- “he’s walkin’- yes indeed- and drippin’- with dead seaweed…” –because, tonight at 9 pm, we bring you the final installment of the Creature from the Black Lagoon Trilogy- “the Creature Walks Among Us!”
I know, we saw the Creature again sink lifelessly into the ocean depths at the end of our last film- but, as fans of most monsters know, just like Michael Meyers, the Frankenstein Monster, and Dracula- these fiends just don’t stay dead! Therefore, it should come as no shock that the Gill Man has cheated death one more time, and is on the loose again- and yet another scientific expedition is out to bring him in. This time, the curvy female aboard the ship isn’t an ichthyologist- she’s just a spoiled rich woman, whose hubby is bankrolling the latest quest.
In a chilling encounter with the Gill Man, a member of the crew tosses a torch at the Creature, setting him ablaze… and soon, the poor amphibian humanoid collapses from his fiery ordeal. The flames have sealed of his gills, and the only way to save him is to operate- accessing actual lungs that have developed in the evolving creature’s system! The amazing experiment turns the confused Gill Man into a land dweller-
who needs to learn that he can no longer breathe underwater.
He also needs to learn that humans can be jerks, as the jealous hubby, a sleazy crew member, and the unhappy rich wife show the worst sides of human behavior- is that any way to set an example?! The Gill Man learns it ain’t so grand on land when he “walks among us!”
This 1956 flick, the only one of the Creature films NOT shot in scary 3-D, appears to have a lower budget than the first two as well. There are changes in the Creature’s appearance (even before he becomes a land dweller)-and a different guy in the “land Creature” suit (Don McGowan)-but Ricou Browning was still in the aquatic suit, as in the previous films. We also see a sort of evolution of the Gill Man’s brain- he’s come beyond the “stop!”/shock treatment reactions of the last film- is he developing a brain- and some heart? All he needs is “da noive” and he could be in a road company of “the Wizard of Oz”…
So- one more helping of seafood (you might say that it’s the  “surf to turf” special) tonight-(9 pm on WCIU, 1 am on our sister station Me-TV)-and we’ll have all the usual Sven shtick, plus some cool new Ray Harryhausen collectible figures from our sponsor, Horrorbles-speaking of which, make sure you check back here for all the info about my upcoming appearance at the Portage Theater next Friday night to help Horrorbles celebrate its second “birthday!”

Time again for random ravings from under the Svengoolie stovepipe hat:
-    is anybody else as sick as I am of seeing those “lite-
    headed” commercials for a radio station with the
    computer generated office morons switching on the
    station and doing bizarre “dance” moves? The first one   
    was okay, the holiday one got worse, and now…
-    a British cable channel did some sort of survey that shows a lack of education in some Brits- according to their survey, an inordinate number of people thought that Winston Churchill was a FICTIONAL character! Imagine that- Churchill, a beloved and historically significant statesman who played a huge part in steering that nation in World War II- and people don’t know he was a real person?! It would be something like Americans thinking FDR was a made-up character (not the “FDR” mailman pal of Newman’s who put a curse on Kramer in “Seinfeld”- if you thought that was who I was referring to, pack your bags and head towards England.) Add to that the fact that 58% of the people surveyed thought that Sherlock Holmes was a real person…
-    one of my new favorite comic strips is “Lio” in the Tribune- a little bizarre and off-center, but definitely
better than most of the junk they run…
-    also from the Trib- there’s an on-line “movie” called
    “Barackula: the Musical” –telling the ‘untold’ story of
    how, back when he was at Harvard law School, Barack
    Obama became a fearless vampire fighter! It’s called a  
    cross between Michael Jackson’s “Thriller” and “Jesus
    Christ: Superstar”- okay, when will they do the musical
    about Hillary “Buffy” Clinton trying to block the hell
    mouth located below Maine South High School?
-    a web clip that’s gotten a lot of views and even been aired
    on television news shows- with a TV reporter doing a
    report on birds, getting some “bird droppings” on his
    coat, then looking up and supposedly getting some in his
    mouth (eww!) has turned out to be a staged shot-
    actually, something for a commercial! I wish somebody
    would also reveal how many of those “America’s Funniest
    Home Videos” are totally staged shots- almost as bad s
    the ones they use on that show of the audience “laughing
    hysterically” at the clips.
The previous opinions are those of Mr. Goolie, and may not reflect the views of the company that actually pays him (for reasons they still aren’t sure about.)

I’ve mentioned before how we get movies from distributors, and they are contracted either for a certain period of time, or, occasionally, a certain number of times that we can run them.

Lately, I’ve gotten an unusual number of requests for movies for which we no longer have broadcast rights-meaning, our contract ended, and we cannot show the movies anymore.

One we keep getting requests for is the 1975 made-for-TV movie starring Karen Black- “Trilogy of Terror.” Although it indeed contains three separate stories- the one everyone remembers is the final one- in which a woman receives a small African fetish doll of a warrior, supposedly possessed by a warrior spirit- with strict instructions not to remove the chain that is around the doll’s waist, which holds in the murderous spirit. Needless to say, the chain comes off, the doll comes to life, and we get one of the most nerve-wracking cat-and-mouse games of all time- as the doll stalks Karen Black, and she tries to escape and/or capture the doll. Anyone who’s ever seen that story can never forget it! Anyway, recently, people like “Catnip Carson” and “Richard’s mom” have been asking to see the flick, which, as I said, we no longer can show. If we can eventually get it back, we will- I’m just surprised at all the recent interest in the film!

I also have another “what movie was this?” question from Hazel- who says this was a Sven movie, though I’m not sure about that…she says it’s about a comatose young man in a hospital facility, who requires 24 hour nursing care, since he can’t do anything for himself. A lovely young nurse is caring for him, and he eventually “speaks” to her by telepathically typing words on a nearby computer. Eventually, the young woman is taken off his case, and the comatose fellow reacts by throwing nasty telekinetic tantrums, making things fly around the room. He finally passes away, and a group is standing around his bed talking about what’s been going on when- WHAM! - his body flies across the room, into a medical supply cabinet! That’s the exciting conclusion- now- does anybody know what which movie this is? Did it actually run on my show, because I really don’t remember it! If you know- pass on the info- svengoolie@wciu.com - and maybe we can solve the mystery for Hazel! You guys have been great about bailing me out when I can’t connect a movie that someone has inquired about with its title- here’s hoping that you can do it again! (I at least know it WASN’T one of the FIRST two stories in the “Trilogy of Terror!”)

I’ve been meaning to get to the viewer feedback regarding our mail segments- as many of you know, our last “helper” during the mail, our webmaster “Qwerty” the spider, got fed up with his lack of acceptance by Sven viewers, and stormed off the show. I had become suspicious of how large or small his fan base might be, due to an interesting sort of barometer- the fact that a) he was rarely, if ever mentioned in viewer missives, and b) the fact that he was almost NEVER depicted in artwork sent in by viewers. When I asked in this very blog space how people felt about him, there was pretty much a vote of indifference- some viewers felt that his gimmick of having as many voices as he did legs (and sometimes more) really didn’t work, a few were upset that he had the same name as a bizarre puppet character who used to inhabit “the Koz Zone” years ago, and there were just a handful who were creeped out by spiders in general, and didn’t enjoy seeing a large hairy one (even if it WAS a puppet) on screen!

Since I had mentioned in the blog that maybe you guys could give me some suggestions about who or what I should recruit to do the mail segments, let’s go over some of the messages that I’ve received: more than one viewer have brought up our trusty skull co-star Tombstone as the perfect candidate as a mail assistant. I think he may feel that type of work is beneath a star of his stature…Chris wrote in suggesting we get some nice young lady to assist me during the mail segments- he specified that she doesn’t have to be a bombshell- that she could be dressed up scary or sexy, like Elvira- that she should be dependable, and not show up once, then be gone forever-that she could just be the average girl-next-door dressed in something with a horror motif, or even wear her hair ala the “Bride of Frankenstein!”

Jerry had multiple ideas- he said he always enjoyed when Doug did the segments with me (although Doug’s schedule really doesn’t always allow him to join us for the mail)-he suggested we just use one of our Sven studio crew members to do the mail-although some of them are a little too busy during the production to come in and sit with me- or, he suggests, just get Bruce Wolf or one of the “bozos” from the WGN Morning News! Ahem- when the pay scale for doing the mail is right around the zero mark, that pretty well limits who we can use…

Sue feels that I should just do the mail by myself…but, wait! She then says, “it’s too bad about the spider, I thought he was kind of cute!” Where was that comment back when Qwerty was still with us?!

Yes, it’s “Super-Tuesday” (which is nothing like “Two-fer Tuesday” which we used to have when I was doing radio- you know, you’d play two songs by the same artist in arrow- yeah, baby!) registered voters will be heading for the polling places to vote for the candidates who will then move on to the big election this November.

The polling places are always interesting- it’s always great to see what kind of machine you’ll be voting on- whether it’s one of those slick touch-screen deals, or the punch card style that was notorious for the “hanging chads” (which was the name of a group we’d feature on “Two-Fer Tuesdays”)- and to see how busy- or the opposite –the voting place is. It’s always a strange feeling when the people voting are outnumbered by the polling place workers and election judges!

I had a mishap in one of the previous elections- I had used the punch ballot, and when they ran it through the tallying machine- which looks suspiciously like a paper shredder- it spit it back, because I had voted for TOO MANY judges! This was definitely just an error on my part, and not a willful scheme to stretch my vote. I had to go back and re-punch on a fresh ballot- and did it right the second time, thankfully.

I think most of us are grateful that the election today will call a temporary halt to the tide of political commercials. More mud gets slung than in that Stooges short where they’re hurling the clay around. I find it interesting when candidates try to use humor in their ads- and am not sure how well that serves them. Plus- just because a candidate has the money to do a really slick, expensive commercial - does that mean he’s a better candidate?

I’m always somewhat skeptical of “celebrity” appearances in commercials, stumping for a certain candidate- granted, they may truly believe in the candidiate, but- aren’t there people who will vote for said person just because they are fans of the celebrity-just as there might be people who WON’T vote for that person, because they don’t like the celeb?? I’m always reminded of one local office-holder who would call upon his celebrity brother-in-law to make appearances on his behalf.

The guy was a beloved personality- but- other than being a part of the candidate’s extended family- why should he be a reason to vote for him?

Let’s face it –would you vote for a candidate because Svengoolie was at his fund-raiser- and for no other reason?

(Unless you were a rubber chicken coalition lobbyist?)

We were discussing remakes in yesterday’s blog- mentioning that there is a “Creature from the Black Lagoon” remake coming up this year, and that they have announced the remaking of “Nightmare on Elm Street.”

The “Creature” remake supposedly will have an actual living actor following in the footprints of Ricou Browning and Ben Chapman, wearing a Creature costume, rather than being totally computer-generated. One Brian Steele is listed as playing the Gill Man, and he has a long line of credits playing various creatures and demons in everything from “Hellboy” to both of the “Evolution” films to “MonkeyBone” to even playing “Harry” in a few episodes of the television version of “Harry and the Hendersons.” While I’m actually happy to know that there will be a “real” Creature in the film- will the remake be superior- or even on the same level- as the original? Granted, today’s audience may be made up of mostly young people who have no emotional connection to the original film, as many of us long-time fans do- so they may accept it with open arms. I am even willing to admit that it could be remade as an excellent movie- but- if it doesn’t come up to even the same level as the original- why bother to even re-make it?

As I mentioned, New Line studios are in talks to re-make “Nightmare on Elm Street.” The producers want to focus some of the new movie on Freddy Krueger’s backstory (wasn’t some of that covered in the various old “Nightmare” films?) They plan on hiring a writer to work on a screenplay as soon as the writer’s strike ends (to which one of my friends quipped “almost makes you want the writers’ strike to continue!”) This same group is preparing yet another remake – or “re-launch” as they call it- of “Friday the 13th.” They were also behind the remake of “Texas Chainsaw Massacre.” Not only that- but they are also remaking the cult vampire movie “Near Dark” for another company, and are even –now wait a minute- “the Birds” for Universal!(Remaking the Hitchcock classic? Didn’t we learn anything from the remaking of “Psycho”?!) Obviously, we’re dealing with some guys with no original ideas of their own. Is it always easier just to re-do something, because people are familiar with the story just to make it an easier sell and almost guaranteed to make some money? (Did I just contradict myself, having previously mentioned that the audience for the NEW “Black Lagoon” film probably isn’t familiar with the original?) I guess my real point is- unless you’re going to make something that is a credit to the original movie- and stands on its own merits as well as, or better than the original-don’t bother. Or- why not come up with something new- just as the ORIGINAL “Nightmare on Elm Street” or “Friday the 13th” did? They created the new wave of ‘classic” horror- maybe it’s time for another!

As promised on last night’s show, if you want to vote for Svengoolie for a Rondo award- you can go to www.rondoaward.com or the spam-free www.classichorrorfilmboard.com/rondos/rondos.html - Please read and follow directions, vote only once, and include your name! And thanks if you decide to vote…

I had my own rather stupid aquatic adventure the other day at work, hardly on the scale (get it?) of the Creature from the Black lagoon’s exploits –of which we’ll have one more next Saturday night. I had brought a bottle of water to work, as I sometimes do- raspberry blackberry flavored, to be exact- and, we usually buy uncarbonated water. After the bumpy ride to work, and the walk in my swingin’ briefcase (that makes me sound more Sinatra-like) I placed it on my desk. While working at my computer, I decided to break out the water, unscrewed the cap- and it was like Simona Boniface turning on the TV that the 3 Stooges had hooked up to the water pipes. It was a gusher, adding a new look to my trousers (supply the joke of your choice here), soaking my mouse pad,

My keyboard and assorted other items. Nothing was ruined, fortunately, but I was emitting berry-scented fumes for a few hours (keep your jokes to yourself at this point.) perhaps I should read the label a little more carefully next time I purchase water.

Regarding water- for the viewers who caught this gaffe which we’ve mentioned before in last night’s flick- yes, the Creature from the Black Lagoon IS a fresh-water mutant amphibian …but, when they brought him to the ocean theme park, they put him in a SALT-water tank, amidst the sharks, sting rays, etc…perhaps he could tolerate a high sodium diet…though it may have affected his blood pressure- as did the big electrical shock probe that was constantly thrust at him (and us, thanks to the original shot-for- 3-D effect)…

We also mentioned that this is yet another film headed for remake- supposedly to hit the big screen this year. Word just came out that there are plans to re-start the “Nightmare on Elm Street” franchise. I know Rob Zombie did his “resetting” of the “Halloween” story, and it did pretty well- but- has the whole idea of doing remakes gotten to be too much? Can’t people come up with new ideas- even if they are derivative, like “Cloverfield?” Come back tomorrow for a little more discussion about remakes- and, I promise I won’t bring up the upcoming new “Knight Rider” series…

Okay, it’s Groundhog Day (not the movie-although I’m sure some cable outfit will trot it out, and probably play it over and over again- get it? Aren’t they clever?) I remember it because, first of all, one of my brothers has his birthday on February 2nd- but also because, back when I was doing “the Koz Zone” at WFLD, we did a “Dragnet” take-off about the groundhog and his shadow. After it aired on a Friday, the next Monday one of my co-workers came to me and said that a radio station in Milwaukee played the entire bit (it worked as just an audio bit) -never acknowledging where it came from- basically making it look like it was done by whoever was on air at the time. One would think people in the professional broadcasting business would know about copyright laws, not to mention union laws.

A couple phone calls put a scare into them- maybe they were scared enough that there would be six more weeks of winter…

Speaking of scares- we’ve got a favorite fright tonight- yes, it’s the exact movie that yours truly unleashed on the Chicago area in 3-D back in the 80s! It’s the return of the Creature from the Black Lagoon in “Revenge of the Creature!” No, it’s not in 3-D this time around- but it’s still the visual delight of things being forced towards the camera lens, sometimes for no good reason.

Yes, you get a very young Clint Eastwood in a quick cameo-You get John Agar, and John Bromfield, the guy who used to show up in this area every year, proclaiming himself “Mr. Sportsman” and touting the big Outdoors Show. Plus, you get the usual hot chick marine biologist, Lori Nelson, who naturally becomes bait for the green and gruesome Black Lagoon-atic.

Watch this movie carefully, and you’ll notice a technique that director Jack Arnold loved to use- someone will be going about their own business, when suddenly a hand reaches into the picture, startling them (and the audience, thanks to the suspenseful build-up and the musical soundtrack!) Arnold really enjoyed using this bit of business- several times in this movie alone.

This was supposedly the biggest money-maker of the “Creature” trilogy of films- so, tune in tonight at 9 (or, at 1 am on our sister station, Me-TV) for this 50s classic, presented in startlingly- flat 2-D! And-in keeping with our Groundhog Day tradition- if the Creature sees his shadow in this film- that means he’ll be back for one more outing next weekend! (I know, if I were sticking to the tradition, it’d mean he WOULDN’T show up for six weeks- but, we’ve got the last of the trilogy planned to air next week regardless. See, you over-analyze the joke, and it ruins it!).