11/23/2007
Well, this is it- the traditional day of Berwyn’s “Carcass Day Parade!” The big parade in honor of the leftovers from Thanksgiving began back in 1989, when I first did the play-by-play broadcast over WCKG while serving as the morning personality.
The parade stretches down Cermak Road, heading towards Harlem, or as far as the traffic will let it go. Hopefully, it winds up at the famed Spindle –the shish kabob of cars- in the Cermak Plaza shopping center.
Leading off the parade-it’s the Houby Hot Shots marching band! The Midwest’s premiere marching band composed of accordions, slide whistles, and empty KFC buckets used as percussion instruments. The lingering aroma of gravy and that bready coating makes them a perfect lead-off for this parade, as they play a march of their own composition- “the Dry Stuffing Promenade.” It’s a nice touch that, instead of feathers in their uniform caps, the players have put stalks of celery, in a salute to stuffing.
Following them is the local civic organization known for keeping the town clean- the Berwyn Brawny Lads. These quicker-picker-uppers always march right behind the float that once caused a major splash in the parade- the giant gravy boat sponsored by the local Jiffy Lube. We all recall that day back in 1989 when the gravy boat tipped over, and the Brawny Lads stepped in to absorb the spilled gravy with their utility belt rolls of paper towels (except for the mock giblet hunks, which were handed out to the attending children as special gifts.) Ever since that year, the Lads have stayed close to the boat, in case of any overflow.
Oh boy- coming up next is the Carcass Queen and her court! These lovely lasses, chosen by an on-line voting process involving a puzzle involving connecting virtual turkey bones together until they form anything resembling Tom Dreesen, are the true backbone- also the thigh bones and the wishbone- of the Carcass Day Parade, spreading good cheer and breath mints to the adoring throng. Last year’s Carcass Queen, Carlotta “Butterball” Spronzak, refused to give up her crown, after finding it worked well to replace a missing piece in her snow blower- so, a new crown was created for this year’s queen, the lovely Tina Zakspron, made entirely of fast-drying concrete. It should fall off after the first good snowfall.
I’d like to continue this commentary, but, it really is too ridiculous to complete- so, why not just come back tomorrow for a preview of the great Universal flick we’ve got for you on the next Sven show? Until then, don’t forget- leftovers are very similar to a TV rerun!
The parade stretches down Cermak Road, heading towards Harlem, or as far as the traffic will let it go. Hopefully, it winds up at the famed Spindle –the shish kabob of cars- in the Cermak Plaza shopping center.
Leading off the parade-it’s the Houby Hot Shots marching band! The Midwest’s premiere marching band composed of accordions, slide whistles, and empty KFC buckets used as percussion instruments. The lingering aroma of gravy and that bready coating makes them a perfect lead-off for this parade, as they play a march of their own composition- “the Dry Stuffing Promenade.” It’s a nice touch that, instead of feathers in their uniform caps, the players have put stalks of celery, in a salute to stuffing.
Following them is the local civic organization known for keeping the town clean- the Berwyn Brawny Lads. These quicker-picker-uppers always march right behind the float that once caused a major splash in the parade- the giant gravy boat sponsored by the local Jiffy Lube. We all recall that day back in 1989 when the gravy boat tipped over, and the Brawny Lads stepped in to absorb the spilled gravy with their utility belt rolls of paper towels (except for the mock giblet hunks, which were handed out to the attending children as special gifts.) Ever since that year, the Lads have stayed close to the boat, in case of any overflow.
Oh boy- coming up next is the Carcass Queen and her court! These lovely lasses, chosen by an on-line voting process involving a puzzle involving connecting virtual turkey bones together until they form anything resembling Tom Dreesen, are the true backbone- also the thigh bones and the wishbone- of the Carcass Day Parade, spreading good cheer and breath mints to the adoring throng. Last year’s Carcass Queen, Carlotta “Butterball” Spronzak, refused to give up her crown, after finding it worked well to replace a missing piece in her snow blower- so, a new crown was created for this year’s queen, the lovely Tina Zakspron, made entirely of fast-drying concrete. It should fall off after the first good snowfall.
I’d like to continue this commentary, but, it really is too ridiculous to complete- so, why not just come back tomorrow for a preview of the great Universal flick we’ve got for you on the next Sven show? Until then, don’t forget- leftovers are very similar to a TV rerun!
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