11/22/2007
Happy Thanksgiving to all you Sven fans- wouldn’t you know it- on this holiday, I end up pulling duty on the Berwyn Rubber Chicken Hotline, taking calls from all those helpless individuals who can’t seem to handle the preparation of their rubber chickens on this special day…oops! A call is coming in- be right back…
Sorry- this caller was wondering how many hours to the pound one should keep a rubber chicken in the oven. Now, isn’t that obvious? Your average rubber chicken weighs less than a pound- and, besides- who puts a rubber chicken in their oven- unless you’re a big fan of the fragrance of a tire fire? At least that one was easy to answer. Meanwhile, I hope you all enjoy whatever you’re having for your feast today, because…oh, sorry- another call coming in. stay right there, I’ll be back…
I’m back- and another genius heard from- he wanted to know if it’s better to stuff the chicken, or to prepare the stuffing on the stove top. Naturally, I told him that I am not a big fan of stuffing anything in a rubber chicken- that can cause major problems when it is hurled at an unsuspecting horror movie host. I told him to put the stuffing on the stove top- and asked him what kind of stuffing it was. He said he thinks it’s the stuffing from his mother’s old couch that used to be in the basement. I asked him never to call me again.
Anyway, I’d like to tell you the story of that day long ago, when the Pilgrims played the Indians and, on the very first kick-off, managed to…oh, fine- the hotline is ringing again. Please stand by…
That was a guy wanting to know if I’d like to consolidate my telephone, cable and computer modem. I told him, yes, I’d like to consolidate all three of them into a trash can, along with those stupid talking turtles and that wise guru who’s “enlightening” my wallet. Now, where was I? Oh, yes, so Santa put a finger upside his nose, and- no, wait- no Christmas stuff until tomorrow, when the Christmas season launches pre-maturely in full force. I know- I was telling the story of Squanto. Squanto was the Native American version of Bingo, and, if they called the right numbers you could…wait- somebody’s calling MY number. Look, this really isn’t working- I’ll let you go to celebrate your Thanksgiving- meanwhile, I’ll answer the hotline, and have more blog for you tomorrow…
Sorry- this caller was wondering how many hours to the pound one should keep a rubber chicken in the oven. Now, isn’t that obvious? Your average rubber chicken weighs less than a pound- and, besides- who puts a rubber chicken in their oven- unless you’re a big fan of the fragrance of a tire fire? At least that one was easy to answer. Meanwhile, I hope you all enjoy whatever you’re having for your feast today, because…oh, sorry- another call coming in. stay right there, I’ll be back…
I’m back- and another genius heard from- he wanted to know if it’s better to stuff the chicken, or to prepare the stuffing on the stove top. Naturally, I told him that I am not a big fan of stuffing anything in a rubber chicken- that can cause major problems when it is hurled at an unsuspecting horror movie host. I told him to put the stuffing on the stove top- and asked him what kind of stuffing it was. He said he thinks it’s the stuffing from his mother’s old couch that used to be in the basement. I asked him never to call me again.
Anyway, I’d like to tell you the story of that day long ago, when the Pilgrims played the Indians and, on the very first kick-off, managed to…oh, fine- the hotline is ringing again. Please stand by…
That was a guy wanting to know if I’d like to consolidate my telephone, cable and computer modem. I told him, yes, I’d like to consolidate all three of them into a trash can, along with those stupid talking turtles and that wise guru who’s “enlightening” my wallet. Now, where was I? Oh, yes, so Santa put a finger upside his nose, and- no, wait- no Christmas stuff until tomorrow, when the Christmas season launches pre-maturely in full force. I know- I was telling the story of Squanto. Squanto was the Native American version of Bingo, and, if they called the right numbers you could…wait- somebody’s calling MY number. Look, this really isn’t working- I’ll let you go to celebrate your Thanksgiving- meanwhile, I’ll answer the hotline, and have more blog for you tomorrow…
0 TrackBacks
Listed below are links to blogs that reference this entry: 11/22/2007.
TrackBack URL for this entry: http://www.wciu.com/blogs/mt-tb.cgi/77
Leave a comment