10/23/2007

Today, let’s discuss the difficulties of signing rubber chickens. Yes, it IS difficult- maybe not as difficult as it would be to try to sign live chickens, or frozen chickens, or even Chicken McNuggets, but- it’s no picnic. It certainly depends on the variety of rubber chicken that must be signed. While meeting folks at O’Connor Hyundai this past weekend, many people had chickens to be signed. There were really small plastic ones, which I had to do very precise signing on, using as fine a tipped pen as possible. Then, we had the full sized chickens that had many “goose bumps”- you know, the simulated little bumps where the chicken had been supposedly plucked. Some versions of that kind have a surface that is so rough, it’s difficult to manage to write on it…unless you’re simulating Braille. Then, there are certain chickens that are packed with an invisible coating of powder. This is done so the rubber doesn’t stick to itself when they’re being processed, shipped and packed. Unfortunately, the powder has a tendency to coat the point of any kind of pen- from a permanent Sharpie to a ball point- making the tip dry out so the pen will not work! We had a major problem with that at Flashback Weekend this year. Am I going to have to bring with a bottle of alcohol and a swab top clean the chicken surface, just to make sure it’s signable? And you thought life as a chicken-signing celebrity was easy…I also ended up signing a cast, someone’s shirt (while they were still in it) and a couple guys had brought a whole collection of birthday gifts – fake tombstones, a football lamp, skulls- and asked me to write a few things on them that I wasn’t comfortable doing- so, I didn’t- I just signed them. Writing on a Styrofoam tombstone with a fine point Sharpie is not the easiest thing, by the way- even signing some of the chickens was easier!

Before I sign off- here’s today’s pre-Halloween monstrous movie pick! John Carpenter’s 1998 “Vampires” has James Woods in a very creepy tale- he’s a vampire hunter whom leads an efficient team in the slaughter of vampires- until his team is wiped out by a vampire who has an evil scheme in mind. It seems there’s a “black cross” that the vampires are after- because, if they obtain it- they’ll be able to walk in daylight! The Vatican –that’s right- the Vatican- wants Woods, as vampire killer Jack Crow, to stop the vampires before they become a 24/7 menace! This is another one NOT for the faint of heart…and it appears to be a movie that people either totally love-or hate. Give it a watching, and decid