4/30/2007

AAARGH! The Chia Head is….sob…DEAD! Almost. Quick update for those who don’t read here all the time- we’ve been growing (or, attempting to grow) a Chia Head here in the WCIU production office. After a few weeks, it was sporting a very Bozo or Larry Fine-like fringe of growth, heavier on the left side, but completely bald on top. But now- Chia’s days seem numbered. After a typical weekend with no one to water it- plus, most likely, some intense direct sunlight for many hours- our little Chia has withered locks- the sprouts, once lush and thriving (yes, I am over-doing it here) are now mostly dried-up strands, looking more like Chia is some fanatic hermit who hasn’t washed his hair , but has been treating it with garden variety sludge. But wait- all is NOT lost! Amid these dead sprouts lie a handful of tiny, still green sprouts! The Chia still lives! Perhaps, as our production assistant Nikki has said, if all of you who believe in the Chia would just clap your hands- perhaps the Chia’s growth will not be in vain! If we…oh, look- I’m tired of having to constantly water the stupid thing. And, why did they design it so stupidly that the very top seeds never get enough water to sprout? Am I supposed to stand there, constantly topping off the water supply, so the terra cotta holding those very top seeds will finally burst forth in a lush, plush Chia follicle frenzy? Shouldn’t they provide a sort of Chia head bandana- so, with the current failing growth, the Chia can look like Hulk Hogan- and possibly sprout a TV reality show, “Chia Grows Best?” (see, Hulkster has “Hogan Knows Best” and…I’m not helping myself here, am I?) I guess I’m pretty much of the opinion that the Chia Head was a bold experiment for our production department- but not a very successful one. Perhaps we should’ve started with the basic Chia Pet, and seen if we could nurture that before embarking on the full human-like experiment. Maybe we should have aimed even lower, and just attempted the Chia Herb Garden, which remarkably resembles- uh- small potted plants. Maybe they can develop the Chia Astro-Turf… a small patch that you can plant the seed on, and it grows to resemble a small patch of artificial grass. Or, maybe just have a small patch that IS artificial grass. No watering! No dying! Kids love it! So, my fellow Chia followers- let this be my final entry in our Chia Watch 2007. No more Chia blogs once a week- no appearance slated for the future of the Chia on a Svengoolie show. Let this officially close the case of the WCIU Production department Chia…. …unless that little bit of growth starts to expand….