2/7/2007

I was recently asked if the rubber chickens hurt when they hit you. Well- depends on WHERE they hit you. For the most part, I don’t get hurt…but, every once in a while, one will hit me in the face or in the eye, and –yeeeah, that hurts. We have very skilled chicken tossers, or “chicken chuckers” as we like to put it, on staff- and, no, that is not their only job. Show staff, workers from our offices, interns, visiting dignitaries- these are among the people who fling small rubber fowl at me. Generally, they try to be very careful- but the excitement of doing the chicken barrage will sometimes over-power them, they’ll get too into it- and a chicken will get too into me…as in, into my eye, my nose…we do show them how to throw the rubber chickens- in the show open, the idea is to have the chickens tossed from either side, so they kind of cross right in front of me, just missing me-and I can stick my hand out to deflect them from their flight path. For the end of the show, their cue is- once I have the shield in my hand- start throwing and AIM FOR THE SHIELD!!! Naturally, not every chicken hits the shield- and some hit me. How much that might hurt- depends on the chicken. My friends, all rubber chickens are NOT created equal. Some are of an extremely rigid latex, very solid and quite dangerous. A misplaced beak could put your eye out quicker than a Red Ryder BB gun. Our sponsor, Horrorbles.com, which now provides our chickens, sent us a batch a while back that were noticeably …limp! The owner John asked- “are these kind of flimsy?” They were about as floppy as a dishrag, and certainly usable, but don’t seem to keep their body shape. He sent us a new batch, and these are much more rigid- these are the first chickens I’ve ever seen that seem to be assembled, and not just one piece! The head and legs are put together with the body. Only time will tell if they start to separate in flight, like a multi-stage rocket. They look great , though…I may have mentioned before that the best rubber chickens used to come from Italy. No idea why. The surface of rubber chickens varies greatly as well- those little “inverted dimples” that simulate plucked feathers are very pronounced on some brands- which makes autographing them for someone very difficult! (Unless it’s a sort of Braille thing… which I may need if too many errant chickens strike my eyes.) So- most of the time- the tossed chickens don’t hurt- but, once in a while- accidents happen. Kids- don’t try this at home. Also, don’t fry this at home. Ew.