February 2007 Archives

This is the last day of February- and , no, it’s NOT a Leap Year- Leap Year has 29 February days. The next one will occur next year, 2008. My research says that a Leap Year occurs every four years- unless the year ends in 00- in which case only if the year is divisible by 400. Since I’m already confused, let’s drop the subject and leap into… …news about a horror hosting legend! Last weekend, Fangoria magazine brought their horror convention to Chicago (let’s not confuse this with the annual summer horror event- Flashback Weekend- which I have been a guest at, and – good news- will be a guest at again this August- they already have me booked!) I was not in attendance at this past week’s Fango convention-but- I DID appear at it, in a way (unless my participation ended up on the cutting room floor)- they had a screening of a new documentary about the famous 1950s horror movie hostess out in Los Angeles- Vampira! You know her best as the impossibly- thin-waisted ghoul woman in a Sven favorite- Ed Wood’s “Plan 9 from Outer Space!” She hit it big as a horror movie hostess back during the first wave of hosted horror movies- when Universal first released its fight films to television stations in the 50s. The trend was to have them hosted by an on-camera ghoul of some sort…here in Chicago it was Terry Bennett’s “Marvin” character on channel 7. Just like Elvira (whom she actually sued, claiming she had stolen her act!) Maila Nurmi- Vampira- who was born in Finland-was in the right place –the entertainment capital of the world, Los Angeles/Hollywood –and was a favorite of the stars and moguls out there, who appreciated her act. She got world-wide publicity, thanks to magazines like Newsweek and Life. Her show supposedly lasted less than two seasons! The documentary- named “Vampira: the Movie”- tells her story, with quotes from the woman herself (yes, she’s still around!)-plus other horror hosts- even Cassandra Peterson, Elvira, law suit or not - plus “Famous Monsters” grand old man, Forrest Ackerman. If you saw the movie, let me know if I was in it! With or without me, it’s got to be pretty interesting… And, if it IS without me, be calm- there’s a guy who has been working on a documentary about me (I’ll pause while you all ask-“why?!”) for a while now. You may have even seen him at some of my appearances. He’s still working on it (no doubt, waiting to find something interesting about me)- and I’ll let you know when it’s ready for human consumption. Meanwhile, Tombstone is planning his own documentary on himself, titled “Still a Bonehead After All These Years”…

Recently, I got a lot of e-mails (in my “other identity” as this station’s resident “Stoogemeister”) about a cable network showing a whole day of 3 Stooges shorts- all of them colorized. Some seemed impressed by them- some not. One e-mailer, Frank, was especially impressed by the way outdoor scenes looked- especially ones with boys in bright sunlight. I didn’t get to see these shorts, since I was here at the TV station working. Some people suggested that I do a special Stooge-a-palooza featuring all colorized shorts. Well, Sony/Columbia has never offered us any colorized shorts, so we don’t have them. Secondly, if you’ve read my blogs for a long time, you’d know I’m not a big fan of colorization- to me, it really doesn’t add to my enjoyment, and, it’s kind of a distraction , because you’re more focused on how the color looks. I don’t know if the new version of colorization has progressed beyond the more pastel-looking previous versions, but it just seems to me that over-laying color onto these must change the whole character of the film. Imagine the most atmospheric film you’ve ever seen, that benefited so much from the stark black and white, and shadows- and think how that would change with colorization. Imagine a colorized “Schindler’s List” (and, yes, I know how ridiculous it is to compare that movie colorized to a colorized Stooge short- the two are totally incomparable- I’m just trying to explain how black and white film can be so effective- and that colorization shouldn’t be necessary for someone to enjoy a film.) I always remember a program director at a previous station who would present me with a list of movies- and I’d balk at showing a certain terrible one, to which he’d respond- “but- it’s in color!” “Yes” I’d say-“but it’s a BAD movie!” He then would quote how research showed that audiences were more likely to tune away when they happened upon a black and white telecast. I would hope that fans of the Sven show are savvy enough to realize that a movie being in black and white shouldn’t be a turn-off. Although it might be an interesting experiment- would the original “Frankenstein” or “Bride of Frankenstein” be “better” if it were colorized? As I said- it would be interesting, yes- but- better? Not in my opinion… the bottom line is- if a black and white film being colorized adds to your enjoyment- so be it. If it doesn’t, stick with the original. Chances are, one faction will never be able to convince the other of the virtues of their opinion. It’s like trying to convince some people that anchovy pizza is delicious…even if the anchovies DO look black and white…

Last week, I asked for some help in identifying a movie a Sven fan asked about…and , I believe someone came through! A viewer had asked me to identify a movie that had small humans being controlled by large blue-skinned aliens. I was grabbing at straws on that one, even thinking “could they mean the old George Pal version of ‘the Time Machine’ with the slight blonde people and the menacing Morlocks?”(Hey- it was just a guess- I didn’t say it was a good one.) Fortunately, Mike P had the answer- it was the French animated film “Fantastic Planet!” Fantastic answer, Mike- I don’t think the original inquiry had mentioned that it was animated, because I might have had more of a clue if it had. Mike also asked if part of our Universal deal includes Japanese delicacies like “King Kong VS Godzilla” and “King Kong Escapes”- sorry, Mike, they are not on the list of what Universal will be allowing us. We’ve found it very difficult, over-all, to locate giant Japanese monster films with broadcast rights for air. I know, for years, it seemed like local TV stations ran so many of them…are they all hidden away in some cable network’s vault? Maybe we can unearth them someday… Elizabeth had asked if the guy who played “Roach” in our recent “People Under the Stairs” was the same guy who played Beni in Brendan Fraiser’s “the Mummy.” Nope, Elizabeth, it’s two different guys- “Roach” was Sean Whalen, who’s done a lot of movies and TV, including sit-coms- and Beni was Kevin O’Connor- who also played Dracula’s assistant hunchback Igor in “Van Helsing.” Little-known fact- he’s a Chicago product! His mom was a Chicago school teacher, and his dad was a Chicago cop- and he got his acting training at DePaul and the Goodman School of Drama! Sean Whalen has no Chicago connection that I can find- BUT- I was surprised to know that he was the guy in the “Got Milk?” commercial who worked at a museum, and knew the answer to a radio contest was “Alexander Hamilton”-but he can’t give the correct answer intelligibly because he’s been eating peanut butter- and is out of milk! If only I’d known that when we’d taped that “People Under the Stairs” show… I did want to mention that, one thing I’ve been hearing lately- a lot- both in e-mails and letters, and at live appearances- is that you viewers are really happy that we’re still doing locally-produced entertainment shows on TV. People whose first memory of these type of shows was (ahem) “the Koz Zone”-right on to people who remember “Shock Theater” and “Lunchtime Little Theater” all seem to feel that local TV shows on broadcast TV are worth having. Well, so do my bosses, as you might’ve guessed- and we’re happy to be able to keep that tradition going. Just remember- it’s your support- by watching these shows- that help keep them on the air (I borrowed that from a PBS pledge break, but, it’s true in our case , too- and I’m not asking you to send me 75 bucks for a totebag!) Send me your pledge- I mean, drop me a line anytime at svengoolie@wciu.com

Looks like as good a time as any for….SVEN’S SOAPBOX !!! An occasional feature loaded with stuff that’s been putting my fangs on edge lately…like… STUPID RADIO PEOPLE – there are some incredibly dumb people on the radio who think they’re smarter/more clever than they really are. The only news they actually read are bits and pieces that their producers hand them for use on air. Pick up a newspaper and read it once, will ya? When I was doing radio, I always felt that I had an obligation to keep up on current news and information, even if my job was more entertainment than information. I noticed that talk radio was a place where misinformation was easily put on the air, such as when someone would ask a question, and someone who knew the “answer” would call with totally unsubstantiated information- and then receive dinner for two somewhere as a reward! I think a lot of that has diminished, with most radio people having a computer right at their side to look up stuff- not to say that there isn’t false info on the web, but there’s a better shot at finding real info. Also-radio folks, especially deejays- try to learn something in your whole life. I heard one genius reading about an event that took place in “Minnesota- I guess that’s a suburb of Minneapolis…” Sure! Like Kansas is a suburb of Kansas City! Hey, I know I’m not infallible –but- didn’t these people graduate from grammar school?! By the way, that includes the TV people who do the graphics- words on screen- during the cold weather, saying “busses” were not running. “Busses” are- kisses…look it up! If you mean public transportation- you mean “BUSES”… Something else I meant to complain about… PRESIDENT’S DAY DISRESPECT!!! …it was bad enough that Martin Luther King Day was an opportunity for businesses to have wacky sales-the trend continued- as it always does- to this holiday “honoring” the memory of our presidents. One shoe store “honored” legendary statesman Abraham Lincoln in its commercials- by portraying him on a five dollar bill- WEARING A RED CLOWN NOSE!!! What’s next- George Washington with the wind-up chattering teeth (WOODEN wind-up chattering teeth, of course)…or FDR sitting on a whoopee cushion?! And finally- OVERLY-LONG BLOGS FULL OF COMPLAINTS!!! Anyone who writes those is a definite moron…

Got some scary fun for you tonight on the show- remember last week, when we gave you a sampling of the first few episodes of HBO’s “Tales from the Crypt”? Tonight you can see how the cable TV show began to morph into full-length feature films, when we bring you the chilling “Tales from the Crypt: Demon Knight!” This movie came out in 1995- coincidentally, the first year I was here on WCIU, and, yes, these events are totally not connected- and was intended to be the first in a trilogy of “tales” movies- but, after “Tales from the Crypt: Bordello of Blood”- I don’t think a third entry was ever made. This one is a winner, though- a drifter is on the run from a mysterious guy in a cowboy hat-he ends up at an old hotel that was a church at some point- and, before long, he and the handful of inhabitants on the premises are trapped inside by an army of demons, led by…well, I don’t want to spoil your fun if you’ve never seen it. Lots of fun effects, a good story, and some good characters make this a very worthy “tale.” Oh, sure, you get the Crypt Keeper at the top and bottom of the story- and the usual Sven additions throughout. Keep in mind that this is just one single story, not a few like last week’s offering- but this one is plenty! I’ll be pointing out familiar actors as usual during the show, but, by all means , keep an eye out for a cult favorite- Dick Miller as the booze-loving Uncle Willy. Dick Miller was a Roger Corman film stock actor- he was the nerdy beatnik sculptor Walter Paisley in “A Bucket of Blood”-and was the guy who visited the florist in “Little Shop of Horrors” who ate flowers! He worked for over twenty years with Corman, and his career was revived when directors like Joe Dante, with fond memories of his work, used him in their films. You’d especially remember him as Mr. Futterman in the “Gremlins” films. He once mentioned that, back in the sixties and seventies, when he’d go to other studios looking for work, when he’d mention he worked for Corman and American International films, he’d immediately be told “I don’t think we can use you.” More trivia for you: he was originally in “Pulp Fiction” but his scenes were cut from the final print! Anyway, it’s a fun flick- where what goes on in that little hotel could means the damnation of the entire universe! You get some nasty demons who can only be defeated by being shot directly in the eyes- you get Thomas Haden Church (Lowell from the TV show “Wings” and the Sandman in the upcoming Spider-Man flick) as a surly fellow who doesn’t trust the hero, and you get Chicago’s own Billy Zane as the guy in the cowboy hat- who also brings some humor to the grisly proceedings. Here’s a weird Sven-type connection- Zane worked on a film whose screenplay was originally written by – Ed Wood! Yes, “Plan 9 from Outer Space” creator Ed Wood! It’s called “I Woke Up Early the Day I Died”- and Zane was both producer and star of the tale- involving a mental patient who escapes from an asylum dressed in drag, who then robs a bank and tries to stay ahead of the law! Sounds like “Svensurround” material to me…anyway, join me tonight- for the Crypt Keeper and more on Svengoolie… (yes, I said moron Svengoolie…)

I’m always flattered to hear how much you guys like our song parodies- which would never be as good without the great instrumental tracks arranged and played by my long-time friend and accompanist Doug Graves. I’ve always enjoyed writing parodies of songs…and sometimes, just changing one phrase in a lyric to something it just happens to sound like helps create a new parody. Of course, sometimes that change isn’t on purpose- it’s just a matter of not hearing the correct words very well. I’ve done that, and I’ll bet you have as well. There are even books and websites of “misheard lyrics”- which sometimes are hilarious, and other times are just head-scratchers. Here’s one I remember from junior high school- I think it was Herman’s Hermits, and the song was “She’s a Must to Avoid”- Not exactly a common phrase, which is probably why a youthful Rich/Sven thought they were saying “She’s a muscular boy!” Come on, it even made sense with the second line- “She’s a muscular boy- a complete impossibility!” Darn right it’s an impossibility. Another one with a few variations is Credence Clearwater Revival’s “Bad Moon on the Rise”- used perfectly in the John Landis film “An American Werewolf in London.” The lyrics have been heard somewhat imperfectly, however-some swear the line “there’s a bad moon on the rise” is actually “there’s a bathroom on the right.” Others mistake a different hairy animal for that werewolf- “there’s a baboon on the right.” I know someone who thought Archie and Edith Bunker , instead of singing “gee, our old LaSalle ran great” in the “All in the Family” theme – were singing “ Gene’s an old and sour ingrate.” I asked who he thought “Gene” was, and he came up with an elaborate theory that it was liberal Presidential candidate of the late 60s Eugene McCarthy, who Archie naturally would’ve hated due to his political views! Well, at least it made sense to him… One misheard lyric a lot of folks seem to have misheard occurs in Sam the Sham and the Pharaohs’ “Wooly Bully”- Sam sings that the creature had “two big horns – and a wooly jaw.” A lot of people I know seem to think that it had “two big horns- and a wooly dog.” Another funny one is from ZZ Top’s “Sharp-Dressed Man…” when “every girl’s crazy ‘bout a sharp-dressed man” becomes “every girl’s crazy bout a half-dressed man.” Well, there may be some truth to that, but it sure seems like a stretch… Have you got you own favorite misheard lyric? Send it to me- Svengoolie@wciu.com - and maybe we’ll do a blog about viewer misheard lyrics. After all, in the words of Frank Sinatra, we could be “strangers in the night- exchanging glasses…”

About a week ago, I found out about the passing of someone who spent a few years hereon WCIU- as well as another station. His name was Bob Luce, and I’m guessing you either have no idea who he is- or immediately knew the name. Bob Luce was a local wrestling promoter- long before “Hulkamania” and the sold –out crowds at the Rosemont Horizon/All State Arena. When I first got into wrestling in the mid 60s- Bob Luce was promoting shows at the old International Amphitheater, and really packing them in to see the likes of Dick the Bruiser, the Crusher, Verne Gagne and Mad Dog Vachon. He would end up doing cameo appearances next to announcer Chuck Marlow in matches taped in Indianapolis-which, at times, must’ve had bad soundtracks, because they’d be doing commentary over a bad sound effect crowd loop-which became obvious when a guy yelling- “Hoo-ray!” would occur every couple minutes on the dot! More memorable than his play-by-play color announcing, though, were his interviews and commercials- especially commercials for local sponsors. “Ben’s Auto Sales” was a long-time sponsor, and featured Bob along with huge wrestler Moose Cholack (known at various times as Yukon Moose, Golden Moose, and possibly Mickey Moose- no, I made the last one up) and costumed “super-heroes?!” Cash Man and Credit Man! The commercials were often hilarious, not because they were well-written comedy, but because they were kind of amateurish and just so ridiculous! (Side note regarding Moose: he was once a “guest coffin opener” on the Jerry G. Bishop Svengoolie show- and was a nice guy. He amazed us all when he sat down at the piano- and played a flawless version of the “Moonlight Sonata!” Moose also passed away, a few years ago.)Another sponsor that Bob and Moose did commercials with, was “Candor Electric.” A guy with a name like Ken Babe (or a babe with a name like Ken Guy) did the main pitch, with Moose and Luce chiming in. Famous black wrestler Bobo Brazil joined Bob for commercials for One Stop, where Bobo claimed he bought beer by the case. Bob also would interview wrestlers (and managers, like the very funny Bobby “the Brain” Heenan, who later hit the big time with WWF – now WWE- and WCW; Heenan was, and still is, one of the quickest wits in or out of pro wrestling.) Eventually, Luce was doing shows on- I think- channel 44, running matches taped by a group under the management of Dick “the Bruiser” Afflis, that were taped somewhere in Indiana- and Bob and some wacky sidekick did shtick between the taped matches. He was definitely an unpolished performer, but always good for some laughs. He helped promote matches in Chicago and Hammond, and I know he booked at least a couple events in the old Comiskey Park ( where usually the only wrestling would be over a ball hit into the stands, or the last beer a vendor had left.) Before wrestling became an “in” thing in the 80s- Bob Luce made it a big thing in Chicago. Another legend of local television long gone has passed on- and we will never see the like again.

I got a correction to something I blogged a while back- we were talking about silent horror movies, and I mentioned the silent “Nosferatu”- a version of the Bram Stoker “Dracula” tale. I had said that the star of the movie, who played the vampire, was Max Schreck- which I though was a gag, since, I thought, “shreck” was “scream” in German. You are wrong, Berwyn-breath! A kind viewer named Nina set me straight- first of all, “shreck” does not mean “scream”(maybe I confused it with “shriek”)- it means horror/terror or fright. The full word is “shrecken”- and when you conjugate the verb you get it shortened to “shreck’ or, at least, Mike Myers…Plus- no, that wasn’t just a clever stage name- the actor’s name was indeed Max Shreck, for real! Thanks , Nina- I make a lot of mistakes, so it’s nice to have people around to correct them. On the Svengoolieweb Yahoo group- somehow we got onto the subject of my accent and/or lack thereof. People have been commenting on how the Sven accent isn’t as thick as it used to be. My story is that , Sven has been in this country for quite a while, and, sort of assimilated with it, losing some of the accent. It still comes out at times, but, he’s more “Americanized” these days. That’s my story, and I’m sticking to it. In actuality, part of the reason is- making things easier to understand. Having to say things at a higher speed at times risks them not being understood at all when said with the heavier accent. Doing some of our song lyrics in a fast tempo could lose the meaning and the jokes for people. But- for those who really miss it- maybe I’ll try to amp it up a little at times for you. A few fans, including Dave, brought up a Simpsons segment, where various characters get in touch with their inner child at a seminar. When it comes to Moe the bartender, his “inner child” –seen in a thought bubble- says in a thick Italian accent- “Hey-a, Moe- how come you no speak-a wit- a your accent-a anymore?” So, I’m not the only one- although, Moe’s last name is Szyslak – so, where’d the Italian accent come from?! And- wasn’t his name originally Moe Shreck, when he played a vampire in “Moe-sferatu?” Someone else brought up that, in the recent “I Saw What You Did”- you could really notice the difference in the lighting on our set, between the old segments and the newer ones. One reason for that- it’s a different studio now! The older segments were done in a small studio on the second floor of our massive broadcast complex- while the newer stuff is done in our current studio on the ground floor. The lighting set ups are totally different, with different lights and configurations. The newer segments should also have looked sharper, since they used newer cameras. Some people think they’d look even better if I wasn’t in front of the cameras…

Yesterday I talked about how you guys often help me solve problems- and today, let’s get to my solving yours. I get all sorts of e-mails, with folks asking if I can help them come up with the name of a film they describe that they don’t quite remember a lot about, especially the title. Sometimes it’s easy- and sometimes, it’s almost impossible. There are times when I know instantly that it’s not a movie I’ve ever shown, no matter how much they protest that it was (but- having been on the air for so many years, I’m sure the years might blur movies seen elsewhere with ones that were on Sven shows.) I’ve been the victim of trying to find a title for years- for a movie I saw on a rainy afternoon, decades ago, as a kid. The film scared the heck out of me. It was an old black and white film- with people being killed by- some creature. I remember there being a family crypt, which had a statue of a wolf in it, that then actors occasionally stood around in. At one point, while they stood there discussing something, a chain on the floor was slowly and mysteriously being dragged around the corner of the base of the wolf statue, and no one seemed to notice. I recall only that, at the end of the movie, it turns out there’s a werewolf (the only time he’s seen, I think, being right at the end-when he was shot –I think- and he pokes his head up over a cliff, snarls, then disappears.) I’ve never seen it again, and have no idea what movie it is- do you?! Anyway, I get many questions from folks in a similar dilemma- One lady wrote, asking if there was a Sven film with a disembodied psychic head. That threw me for a while- as films like “Shrunken Heads” came to mind- until I guessed that maybe she meant “the Brain that Wouldn’t Die!” The head of the mad doctor’s fiancée, kept alive after being severed in a car accident, did develop psychic powers- and controlled the dreaded “thing in the closet” with them. But- what about this one? A viewer asked about a film where the “humans” were small flesh-colored creatures, at odds with larger blue-skinned creatures. The smaller humans were under the control of the blue-skins. I have no clue what movie that might be- could it be the old “Time Machine”-with petite blonde Yvette Mimieux and her like companions facing the ugly, sort of pale greenish-blue-skinned Morlocks? Or, was it “Head of the Class Meets the Blue Man Group?” Sometimes answers aren’t easy to find…but, I’ll always try- and enlist your help as well- time and again, you guys prove you’re much smarter than me!

Remember my blog from a little over a week ago- when I talked about the controversy in my family, regarding the commercial featuring popular music stars and music-oriented stuff in a supermarket? The argument was whether, in one scene Nicole of the PussyCat Dolls picked up an orange- or an onion! Well, as always, loyal Sven fans have attempted to help me out and solve the mystery. Viewer Bill sent me an in-depth investigation, complete with video captures of certain scenes! From what he’s uncovered, it does look like it’s a box of oranges that’s being wheeled past her- but- it does appear that she picks up an onion!(Which may seem like comparing apples and oranges…)Also, she never actually takes a bite out of it; and, Bill adds that it’s a TV commercial, which doesn’t have to make sense! So- problem solved… …or –IS IT?! Another faithful viewer, Mary, seems to think that it’s a box of grapefruit- and that Nicole is picking up one of those! She thinks that the paler color might be why I think it’s an onion…hmmm…maybe it IS… And- more info regarding the Kiss boot shot- I mentioned that in earlier airings, you saw the boot step out of the freezer, followed by the complete KISS Demon-looking character, and that, since you no longer get the full character shot, that maybe a KISS member, like Gene Simmons, complained that it wasn’t licensed. I got an e-mail from Jason, who said that there was a blurb about it on an official KISS site, so it most likely would be licensed- BUT- he noticed , when they used to show the whole figure, the Demon was holding his axe bass as if he would play it left-handed- where, in reality, Gene plays with his right hand. Jason wonders if that was why it was cut. I wonder if Jason and I pay a little too much attention to commercials. …now- is that a box of apples behind the oranges, or is it tomatoes?! I appreciate the help- as always, feel free to drop me a line at svengoolie@wciu.com - I get some great feedback from you guys, and it’s always fun to read what you’re thinking, your opinions of what we do, etc. And- if there’s something I can solve for YOU- I can always at least try. Let’s get into that In tomorrow’s blog…

Gung hay fat choi! That’s (I think) “Happy New Year” in Chinese- because today marks Chinese New Year! (I’ll have to ask my friend Linda Yu if I got that even close!) There’s even more special days this week- President’s day tomorrow, Ash Wednesday and the beginning of Lent, Washington’s birthday, Flag Day on Saturday (that’s in Mexico)…I once worked on a pilot for a radio feature called “Every Day’s a Holiday”- in which we’d do a shtick thing for whatever special day it was. Stuff like National Clown Day Could be found on a special calendar that many radio and TV stations could order that had listings of the various special days and birthdays for each day (yes, this was WAAY before the Internet.) That way, Jerky McDiscJockey could know that it was Phyllis Diller’s birthday, the beginning of the cowchip throwing season in Duluth, and the first day of National Take a Pickle to Work Week. This was always good filler for bad air personalities. I always loved doing radio- and hope to go back and do some more before I eventually retire. Obviously, I’d need less make-up. Thanks to my various friends on the air, I get to be a guest every so often, and it’s almost always fun. Maybe it’d be fun to do a weekly Svengoolie radio show- but I’d have to simulate the sound of the rubber chicken barrages- maybe like they used to do when “recreating” baseball broadcasts years ago-they’d hit a leather cushion with a bat to make the sound effects. I’d probably have to do it with an actual bat (the “squeak, squeak” kind- no, never mind, the PETA people would be after me.) As I’ve mentioned before, Sven was a prominent character when I did mornings at WCKG back in 1989…we even used to do radio versions of “Sven-eymooners” episodes! When I did fill-in work at WGN radio, we had to steer the callers away from always asking Sven questions- the management didn’t want the shows to become only Sven oriented. Now, many years later, when I visit with Steve and Johnnie on that station, Sven is a welcome guest. I did fill-in work during some of the final days of WCFL, when WGN’s Dean Richards was program director, and Sven was a part of those shows as well. So, Sven’s been a radio personality in his own right! I always envision doing an old-time radio show, like they had in the 40s, done with Sven, Doug, Tombstone, and the other Sven characters – maybe that’s something we could do on the TV show sometime (with the characters reading scripts into a microphone, somebody doing “live” sound effects- it would be a fun retro thing!) In the meantime, Mr. Goolie will be sticking to television appearances- but, you’ll have to wait a few days for the next one (unless you check out the Sven webisode here in our video room)-but- I will be back tomorrow with more blogging…

As Count Floyd used to say on SCTV- “Saturday night, kids!!!” …and our Universal library brings back one that I know a lot of Sven viewers loved- and most of the local tv listings got wrong. I mentioned the British “Tales from the Crypt” movie of the early 70s…well, the always-lucid local listings seem to like to say we’re running that, and, as much as I love that movie- it ain’t what we’ve got. What we have for you tonight is a collection of the first episodes of HBO’s famous series- you know, the one with the moldy, razor-blade voiced Crypt Keeper puppet introducing the tales that first saw daylight (or is it day FRIGHT!? Heeheeheehee…sorry, I was in Crypt Keeper mode there) as comic book tales in EC horror comics. The HBO series was only planned to run three seasons- but was so popular, it actually ran for seven, and then went into regular tv syndication for a while. This film is actually the first three episodes that ever aired- and were originally intended to be- not a tv show- but a big-screen movie! However, the producers got cold feet when they discovered research that indicated that most anthology films that contained three stories turned out to be box office bombs. So, away to tv they went- and put together these episodes as a theatrical movie only after the show became a success! There is a similarity in this movie and the original British one I mentioned earlier- you get another version of the same classic horror story- “And All Through the House”…in which an escaped killer who broke out of a home for the criminally insane is roaming the streets dressed in a Santa costume! It just happens to be Christmas time, and a woman…well, just tune in. You’ll definitely enjoy the stories, and you’ll notice that the Crypt Keeper isn’t as manic and silly as he would eventually become! I always laugh when I think of the pun-pushing Crypt Keeper that we all know and love- and that, in the 70s British film- the Crypt Keeper was played by the distinguished actor Sir Ralph Richardson! Obviously, the part was totally different in that film!( Also, in the “All Through The House” story in the British flick, the woman was played by a young and gorgeous Joan Collins!) You’ll get all the usual fun Sven stuff tonight , as well- more info about the film, learn about the Crypt Keeper puppet and his voice, get the inside scoop on how the “Tales from the Crypt” show open was made, plus- some vintage Sven stuff from the past, the usual Sven song, some rubber chickens, some guy at the door- and, the commercials you’ve come to know and tolerate. See you tonight, kiddies!

I was discussing horror flicks with a co-worker the other day, and the subject of films shot here in Chicago came up. There is a legacy of Chicago-shot horror films- and, after quizzing each other- I decided to quiz YOU about Windy City fright films! So, put on your (Bulls-Cubs-Sox-Bears) thinking cap and take a shot at these: (answers will follow the questions, so- NO CHEATING!

1. Something lurked inside a Chicago landmark-and beneath it- but, in the original book- it all happened in and around a New York museum! What’s the movie?

2. This one had an explosion occur right near the dorms where a former co-worker of mine lived while attending college. A lot of it was shot in the Lake View area. At the beginning of the movie, the death of a serial killer is announced on station WDOL…which, of course, doesn’t exist in Chicago, but is a good hint. There were sequels- the second also shot here, the following two not. The movie is…?

3. This one was shot all over the place here- including North Avenue Beach-and a place that isn’t around anymore! You get exploding bodies, severed heads, and Darryl Hannah’s first movie appearance. In spite of the title, it ain’t about a horse…and the title is…?

4. The Cabrini Green housing projects had a reputation for being a dangerous place- and this film didn’t help! They also shot at UIC, where a graduate student sets out to do research on an alleged myth- but-the story turns out to be a little too real! In one scene, next to the student’s bathroom mirror hangs a Guy Fawkes mask- a similar mask appears in the recent “V for Vendetta!” Sammy Davis Jr. does NOT appear in this film. What is it?

AND NOW- the ANSWERS!!!

1. Bet you knew this one –“the Relic!” (1996) A mutant South American monster lurks in the Field Museum! But, in the original book- it was all in New York. The book was actually better, and NOT due to the location. Local long-time radio personality LaDonna Tittle has a bit part as a teacher on a field trip!

2. Consider yourself lucky you never ran into –Chucky! It’s the killer doll epic “Child’s Play!”(1988) The hint in the clue above was the station WDOL- “dol” as in… “doll!” The spirit of the serial killer mentioned ends up in the Chucky doll.

3. You have to remember the psycho-kinetic fun of…”The Fury!” (1978) Partially shot at the now-log-defunct Old Chicago Amusement Park! Rumor has it James Belushi was cast as an extra, then fired, but you can still see him in a beach scene.

4. If the Sammy Davis Jr. line didn’t give it away, you should have thought of Willy Wonka- it’s the scary “Candyman!”(1992) You get lovely Virginia Madsen, who hears if you say the title name 5 times, he’ll appear and dissect you. Ahem- there are certain people in Chicago today, that, if you say their name at the wrong place and time…the Guy Fawkes mask wasn’t much of a clue, but I thought it was cool that it had a link to a more recent movie.

If you enjoyed this- let me know- svengoolie@wciu.com -maybe we’ll try it again!

You’ve been sending me all sorts of comments and questions at svengoolie@wciu.com (and, for that matter, at svenonu@aol.com ) – so, it’s only fair that I share them with all of the Sven fans who loyally hit this blog on a regular basis. Jerry Victory (now there’s a name for a hero- or , at least, a pro wrestler) wrote with a frequently-asked question- he wants to know who wrote the Svengoolie theme we use on the show? He recalls the original Sven’s (Jerry G. Bishop’s) use of Link Wray’s “Rumble” with the added track of screams- and that I used to end my show with Billy Joel’s “You May Be Right- I May Be Crazy”…and asked when my theme first appeared. Well, Jerry, we also used “Rumble” during the first year we were on the air- but, switched to a tune called “Son’s Theme” (since I was “Son of Svengoolie” at the time) sometime during that first year. The tune was written, arranged, and recorded by none other than the great Doug Graves, my musical accompanist whom you still see with me every week on the show. The original track was a sort of “big band” arrangement- with every part played by Doug, except the saxophone part, which was played by the late Steel “Sonny” Seals. We’ve used that them, in different arrangements, since around 1980! Ray, a fan in Georgia who reads these blogs, even though he can’t see the show (now THAT’S loyalty) read a recent blog I wrote about the movie “the Stuff”- in which some guys find some goop in a crater- TASTE IT!!!- and decide that it’d make a great dessert. I mentioned how, my first reaction in finding some gunk somewhere would NOT be to stick it in my mouth. Ray mentioned that that is EXACTLY how the sweetener aspartame was discovered. A scientist was working on an anti-ulcer drug, and got the bi-product of aspartame-which he accidentally got on a finger - which he proceeded to STICK IN HIS MOUTH!!! He noticed its sweet taste, and the die was cast. So, maybe I’m the only one who doesn’t stick strange untested stuff into my craw… We are always on the receiving end of questions regarding t-shirts. PLEASE TAKE NOTE- we process your orders as quickly as possible in our promotion department. It will sometimes take 2-4 weeks, and sometimes 6 weeks, to receive your shirt, depending on the volume of orders. If you are thinking of getting one as a gift for someone, and will need it by a certain day- PLEASE order early enough to make that possible! Also, people ask about sizes- will we get sizes larger than 2XL? Smaller than large? Kids’ sizes? Well, for the time being- the sizes will stay at large, extra large and 2XL. If you want different sizes, just hit the feedback button on this site, and let our powers that be, who DO read all the e-mails, that you’d like to see certain sizes. If there’s enough demand, it may happen! Same thing with paying by credit card- it’s been discussed- and , if it means you’d order a shirt (or more shirts) if you could do it with a card- let ‘em know. You also can pick up a shirt at our sponsor, Horrorbles, in BERWYN at 6731 W. Roosevelt Road! That concludes our feedback blog for today. More stuff tomorrow- it may not be feedback, but it’ll probably leave you fed up with me, as usual…

Happy Valentine’s Day to each and every one of you…can you see me, back in grade school, making a shoebox into a coffin-shaped Valentine box? The symbol of Valentine’s Day is, of course, the heart- and, how many hearts have shown up in horror movies? Remember the original British “Tales from the Crypt” movie of the early 70s, that had a story where, after being driven to suicide by some nasty valentines- Peter Cushing gets revenge from beyond the grave, and sends a “valentine” to someone’s father- and inside is his nasty son’s beating heart? What about Edgar Allan Poe’s “Telltale Heart” (that still sounds like a country-western song title to me…)or, a movie called “My Bloody Valentine?” Some miners in the town of Valentine Bluffs die in a mine explosion, due to stupidity by their supervisors- and one of the survivors goes mental and kills the two bad bosses. He’s sent to a mental institution, and , 20 years later, when the town is about to hold its first Valentine’s Day dance- someone starts sending people human hearts in candy boxes. Would THAT make a great Sven movie or what? Never seen it offered by a distributor yet, though… Another valentine-linked film which I’ve never seen is “Hospital Massacre”-aka ‘Be My Valentine, or Else”- it’s main claim to fame is the starring role of Hugh Hefner’s long-ago Valentine, Barbi Benton. From the description I read, we get to see (ahem) items other than her heart…I actually almost met her once- we were in the same place, the old Hyatt O’Hare, Where she was appearing at the Blue Max showroom(yes, she thought she was a singer), and had dropped in at a charity event for Easter Seals in which I was…uh…dressed in a seal costume. I believe that may settle the question of why she never became MY valentine… Hearts certainly appear in all sorts of various horror movies (sometimes involuntarily, being ripped out of victims) many times in movies involving restoration of life to the deceased- our old Sven classic “Dr. Blood’s Coffin” had the good doctor pulling hearts out of his victims to transplant into other subjects. And, many a vampire movie includes a wooden stake being driven into the heart of an offending blood-sucker. Today would be a perfect day to stroll through the giant-sized human heart at Chicago’s Museum of Science and Industry… wouldn’t that be a romantic event for your loved one? Just imagine, walking through the aorta, hugging your valentine in a ventricle…now, there’s a marketing idea they should take advantage of…hey, no reason YOU can’t use the idea! You have my blessing. May Cupid shoot his arrow into your heart while you’re there- rather than a torpedo from the U-505 submarine that’s also in the museum. Happy Valentine’s Day!!!

Oops! Yesterday was Lincoln’s birthday, and, as a loyal son of Illinois, I didn’t even mention it- my apologies. Didn’t we used to get Lincoln’s birthday off here in the “Land Of Lincoln?” Hey, it was even on a Monday, the official ‘transplant-any-holiday’ day off. I know, we don’t get that day off because now there’s “President’s Day”- formerly Washington’s birthday, but I guess that Taft (not Jerry) and Wilson (not Carnie) whined and complained because THEY didn’t get a special birthday holiday, so EVERYBODY- from Nixon to J. Quincy Adams-got lumped into one big “Hail to the Chief-a-palooza.” Come to think of it, I don’t get that day off either. I don’t get MY birthday, March 12, off either- unless it’s on a Saturday or Sunday. Anyway, back to Honest Abe- the guy on our pennies, and our license plates. I always wonder how Abe would feel to find his name attached to almost anything these days…from carpet companies, to insurance companies, to a luxury car- especially the fine auto that starred in our movie last Saturday, “the Car”…the railsplitter certainly wouldn’t have enjoyed a car labeled with his name (a LINCOLN Mark III) riding around killing people (maybe it should’ve been a “John Wilkes Booth” Mark III? Okay, I’ll be getting complaints on that one…) Do you think Lincoln would’ve liked Sven? After all, we both wear the top hat- although my original hat was more of a stovepipe than my current one…we both did our homework on the back of a shovel, although I had a heck of a time fitting it into the typewriter. We both had run-ins with a guy named Douglas- my musical accompanist Doug Graves always gives me heck about my singing. Ooh, this is turning into one of those “Lincoln/Kennedy” parallel bits- remember those? “Lincoln had a secretary named Kennedy- and Kennedy had a secretary named Lincoln, etc.?” OOH! I had a director named Kennedy, back at Fox! Wow, this just gets eerier and eerier ! Lincoln had a vice-president named Johnson- and Kennedy had a vice-president named Johnson- and, when I was a baby, my mom used baby powder by Johnson and Johnson!… I better quit while I’m behind. Props to Abraham Lincoln- who had a son named Tad, and I’m a tad idiotic….

Okay- I need your help. There’s a TV commercial that’s on that is causing a great deal of controversy in my family…and I need someone to give me the truth. You’ve probably seen the commercial- it’s for Cingular, and features a grocery store that’s got all sorts of popular music stuff going on…Ludacris is pushing a shopping cart, check out guys are doing the “Okay Go” thing on the check out conveyor belts- and there’s one part with the Pussycat Dolls in the produce section. Somebody pushes a cart with what I think is - a box of oranges past the lovely lead singer Nicole, and she takes one. Here’s the problem- I say she has taken an orange – and everybody else says no- she takes an ONION!!! I say it just looks bleached out, but it’s an orange. Is she going to take an onion and take a bite out of it? Come on! So- if you’ve seen that ad, give me the lowdown- at svengoolie@wciu.com . Something else I noticed in the spot- it used to be, when the commercial was first running, that you’d see the black and metal clad foot step out of the freezer section, and you’d see a KISS-like character standing there. Now, all you see is the foot step out. This makes me think that Gene Simmons or one of the boys from KISS complained, that the Cingular folks had just intended the character to look like one of them, but never got permission or paid a licensing fee for their image. Hence the “foot only” shot. …and that cell phone ad reminds me of a fun game you and your friends or family can play in the car- forget about license plate bingo, or “Slug Bug”- now you can play “Cell Phone Jackass Bingo!” It’s fun for the entire family! When in the city limits, where it is supposedly illegal to be using a hands-on phone- you get a letter every time you spot some idiot on their cell phone! Get all five letters- B-I-N-G-O – and you win! I cannot tell you how many times I see someone driving erratically- especially on the expressways- and , when you pull up, you see them paying more attention to the phone they have stuck in their ear than the traffic whizzing around them. Hey- they’re within the city of Chicago- where are the cops who should issue them a ticket? Or, at least, get that final “O” to win “Cell Phone Jackass Bingo?!” Or, get an onion when they thought they were getting an orange?!

Remember my blog a while ago, talking about the demise of the Chicago Sun Times TV Prevue? The book that came with the Sunday paper, that gives you the upcoming week’s TV listings? The Sun Times touted that you’d be able to get the listings on-line instead. Well, I open the paper today, and, lo and behold- there’s a message that, due to thousands of complaints- they will resume TV Prevue in a couple of weeks! Apparently, the reading public doesn’t want to have to go on-line to find their TV listings- and would rather have a booklet they can keep next to the set that lists the local channels and what’s on. However, I’ll bet that it’ll still be the exact same booklet that you get with your Tribune, but with a different cover, and some features just moved around in it. God forbid that they would actually put some local content, besides the listings, into it. The “TV Mailbag” column- which used to include questions about Chicago TV personalities and shows- is now the generic national version, which always seems to have a sort of “smart aleck” edge to some of the answers. Invariably, there’s some dolt asking when some cancelled show will be back on the air. “I haven’t seen it for a while- when will it return?” It WON’T, idiot- BECAUSE IT’S CANCELLED! Try reading the REST of the paper sometime, you might have found out that information months ago! … Anyway, wouldn’t it be better to have local content- have Rob Feder write a special, in-depth column about something on Sundays? Have Paige Weiser write one of her clever columns about a favorite tv show or movie that’s on that week? No, of course not- because that might cost them a little more to produce, when just having the national version they can plug in is so much easier and cheaper- though not as cheap as not having it at all, which is what they were aiming for! Why do you think the “new” version of TV Guide magazine- with no localized listings- is going down the tubes? Could it be that local viewers really wanted LOCAL listings, not just the network listings? It’s the kind of the same thing that’s happening with radio- it’s cheaper to just run a national feed than have local personalities. Who needs that local connection? Well… One thing I always hear from our viewers is that they’re glad we’re on, doing the kind of stuff that they grew up seeing on local tv- local programs, being done by local personalities, that have…that local connection! I guess that’s lost on some of these local papers- but then- they should think- why do THEY exist, when people could just pick up a USA Today?!

Another new Sven tonight- and it’s a movie I had just seen clips of- never saw the whole thing! It’s “the Car!” Along the lines of “Duel” and “Christine”- we’ve got a mysterious car that somehow seems to hold a grudge against humans, and delights in running them down! James Brolin- the former “Dr. Kiley” of “Marcus Welby M.D.”- star of “Westworld”- and , heck, he even portrayed Ronald Reagan in a made –for-tv movie- not to mention being husband to Barbra Streisand- is a cop who has to deal with the demonic black car that comes roaring out of the desert to pick off pedestrians! SEE- the car attack a marching band! SEE- police in pursuit of the car- only to have it do a 180 and come after them! SEE- the gas-guzzling funny car roar down the straightaway in nitro-fueled… no, wait, that’s a line from one of those old “U.S. 30 Dragstrip” commercials… The star of the film- the Car- is another proud product of the amazing George Barris, who made the “Monkeemobile” for the Monkees- Adam West’s “Batmobile” for the 60s Batman show- Grandpa Munster’s “Dragula” hot rod for the Munsters show- and tons of other tv and movie cars.(What- no “Svenmobile?!”) I had always thought that this film was a made-for-tv movie, but it was an actual theatrical release. Steven Speilberg’s “Duel” was a med-for-tv film that hit the air about six years before this flick came out. And- what connection does this movie have to- Paris Hilton and Super-Tramp (uh- aren’t they the same thing?!) You’ll find out when you watch tonight at 9 (or at 1 am on Me-TV…) By the way, for all you fans of “Svensurround”-yep, there WILL be some in the slow parts of this film (some of that might be intolerable without it!) Our song tonight will be a favorite for many of you- especially fans of Commander Cody and his Lost Planet Airmen! (Guess I just gave away what song it is!) Actually, there are a fair number of recognizable stars in this one- we’ll be pointing many of them out. (Which reminds me- for those who write and complain- we can’t mention EVERY SINGLE CREDIT of our noted actors, and it’s not meant as an insult if we don’t mention something they were in-there just isn’t time to do a big, in-depth resume for everyone.) So, buckle up that seatbelt, keep your eyes on the screen, and join us as we hit the gas on another new-model Svengoolie program tonight. We will occasionally hit the brakes- (I meant commercial breaks, which is a better verbal joke , since they’re not spelled the same.) Make sure you e-mail me- svengoolie@wciu.com - to let me know how you liked the flick.

What might be amusing for this Friday Sven blog? Hmmm… how about a list of… TEN SVEN LITTLE-KNOWN FACTS!?! Sounds good to me…and I’m the one who has to write ‘em, soooo…

1. I have worn the same wig since I started playing the character back in 1979. Yes, it’s gotten washed… occasionally…

2. The popular cook character, Goolia Child, on the “Son of” show was actually played by the nice woman who was in charge of the WFLD art department! She mimed along to a voice track that I recorded. She didn’t ever have to worry about lip-syncing, since she wore a rubber mask!

3. I have never lived in Berwyn. No matter what the rumors say, no matter who says there uncle knows a guy who lived next door to me…I never lived there. Nor did I work there as a teacher, a bartender, or a gigolo. They’re all urban (or- urb-SVEN) legends.

4. When the original Sven- Jerry G. Bishop- did some public appearances back in the 70s- I was often there with him, dressed as Groucho Marx, or a “Planet of the Apes” monkey (some people still think I look like a monkey…and not Davy Jones…)

5. Here’s some real trivia- for a while, Jerry’s Svengoolie public appearances were managed by Al Dvorin- who was the guy who said “ladies and gentleman- Elvis has left the building” at various Elvis Presley shows!

6. Maybe I’m supposed to be a vampire, but- I really LIKE garlic…(don’t worry, I’ve got mints…)

7. My original “Son of” top hat was actually a hat I bought at the Walt Boyle magic and costume store in Mount Prospect the summer I graduated from high school, when my friends and I were going to make an 8 mm take-off on silent movies in which I was going to be the villain.

8. Svengoolie has often received invitations to viewers’ weddings. It’s very sweet, but Mr. Goolie does not attend.

9. The guy who was program director at WFLD when I first auditioned HATED the Svengoolie character.(He was gone by the time I was actually hired.) Funny thing was, he later worked for the USA Network, and would send around his reps to local cable outfits, touting their “Captain USA” show by saying “he’s like Chicago’s Son of Svengoolie.”

10. I had nothing to do with VH-1’s recent “Fame Game” episode in which the participants did “rubber chicken shots”- drinking from rubber chickens. Once again, ew.

That’s it! Now, you’re so much smarter- right? RIGHT? Oh, well…come back tomorrow. You’re smart enough to do THAT!!!

Every so often, people ask why we don’t show silent movies. Lon Chaney’s “Phantom of the Opera” is one that comes up a lot. Sadly, the audience for silent movies is not very large. A lot of people don’t want to sit through a silent film- I don’t know if it’s the lack of voices, having to read title screens, not liking the musical sound tracks. Some feature extremely over-the-top gesturing and acting- mainly because the actors were trying to convey as much emotion as possible without the benefit of sound. For today’s audience, silent films are definitely an acquired taste. They certainly can be enjoyable, though…as far as horror films, if you’re interested, you definitely should take a look at the afore-mentioned Chaney “Phantom”- if only to be amazed by the painful make-up job he did. It’s an impressive film- the sets, which remained up at Universal Studios for many many years after the filming, Chaney’s performance as the Phantom- worthwhile just to see the original master of Universal horror films. Another Chaney film to check out is “Hunchback of Notre Dame”- where you will not only be amazed by his make-up job- which included a very heavy rubber hump- but also by his amazing athleticism, as he bounds and swings around the outside of the cathedral! Chaney was an amazing man- if you’ve ever seen the old James Cagney flick “Man of a Thousand Faces,” you at least get some sense of what he was all about. It wasn’t completely accurate, and he had a dark side- but you learn a little about how much he put himself through for his craft. Another interesting silent horror film is “Nosferatu.” Yes, that film was remade with Klaus Kinski in the 80s…but the F. W. Murnau silent film is a very odd tale of …well, actually, it’s the “Dracula” story, but there were copyright-infringement problems that resulted in original English-language versions of the film to change the Count’s name to Orlok . The vampire, played by one Max Schreck (“schreck” means “scream” in German- and , yes, that was the name of Christopher Walken’s character in “Batman Returns”)-is an eerie-looking, almost-alien vampire count. Some of it seems sort of laughable- that’s the case with many of these silents- but, you can get into them and enjoy them. I love some of the silent shorts done by Laurel and Hardy- you really appreciate their craft as actors with those silent films, and their timing and pacing, though some modern viewers just don’t get it, are outstanding. We’ve discussed doing silent films in “Svensurround” (which is basically what the great Jay Ward series “Fractured Flickers” was- silents redubbed with funny dialogue.) It would take a lot of production time to put it together, but- we may try it sometime. Even today, there are viewers who wish my show was silent…especially when I’m singing…

I was recently asked if the rubber chickens hurt when they hit you. Well- depends on WHERE they hit you. For the most part, I don’t get hurt…but, every once in a while, one will hit me in the face or in the eye, and –yeeeah, that hurts. We have very skilled chicken tossers, or “chicken chuckers” as we like to put it, on staff- and, no, that is not their only job. Show staff, workers from our offices, interns, visiting dignitaries- these are among the people who fling small rubber fowl at me. Generally, they try to be very careful- but the excitement of doing the chicken barrage will sometimes over-power them, they’ll get too into it- and a chicken will get too into me…as in, into my eye, my nose…we do show them how to throw the rubber chickens- in the show open, the idea is to have the chickens tossed from either side, so they kind of cross right in front of me, just missing me-and I can stick my hand out to deflect them from their flight path. For the end of the show, their cue is- once I have the shield in my hand- start throwing and AIM FOR THE SHIELD!!! Naturally, not every chicken hits the shield- and some hit me. How much that might hurt- depends on the chicken. My friends, all rubber chickens are NOT created equal. Some are of an extremely rigid latex, very solid and quite dangerous. A misplaced beak could put your eye out quicker than a Red Ryder BB gun. Our sponsor, Horrorbles.com, which now provides our chickens, sent us a batch a while back that were noticeably …limp! The owner John asked- “are these kind of flimsy?” They were about as floppy as a dishrag, and certainly usable, but don’t seem to keep their body shape. He sent us a new batch, and these are much more rigid- these are the first chickens I’ve ever seen that seem to be assembled, and not just one piece! The head and legs are put together with the body. Only time will tell if they start to separate in flight, like a multi-stage rocket. They look great , though…I may have mentioned before that the best rubber chickens used to come from Italy. No idea why. The surface of rubber chickens varies greatly as well- those little “inverted dimples” that simulate plucked feathers are very pronounced on some brands- which makes autographing them for someone very difficult! (Unless it’s a sort of Braille thing… which I may need if too many errant chickens strike my eyes.) So- most of the time- the tossed chickens don’t hurt- but, once in a while- accidents happen. Kids- don’t try this at home. Also, don’t fry this at home. Ew.

I recently got a complaint (a very nice complaint- not vitriolic) about our current Svengoolie t-shirt. The writer politely stated that the design is awful! I had to tell her that this design- the “It Came from Berwyn” ‘50s–style movie poster- has been the best and fastest selling of all the shirts we’ve done so far! But- one thing I’ve learned, that has been under-lined over and over again- you can’t please everybody. (Sometimes, you can’t please ANYBODY…) A few people have complained, as I’ve mentioned here, about the Abbott and Costello movies- about running them all in a row; about repeating them; about not running “…Meet Frankenstein” yet; about not running certain of their titles that aren’t even horror-related. They even complain that they just don’t find those guys funny. I’ve explained that we’re going by a schedule imposed on us by Universal, which is a small price to pay for eventually getting the biggies of their horror legacy. Another viewer wrote that he not only disliked the A & C movies, but was upset we were running “Funhouse” and “People Under the Stairs” –which he’s seen too many times (not here- just too many times.) I can understand that you might not like repeated A &C- but, to be honest, the other two, first-time runs on Sven, seem to be agreeable to most folks. People still complain about what time the show is on. I’ve learned that, no matter what time we’re on- somebody finds it inconvenient. 11 pm used to be too late for some people. Now, 9 pm is too early for some viewers. They want to know why we’re not on at 7- or why we’re not on Friday or Sunday night. Why isn’t the show on at midnight? Why is it on Me-Tv? Why isn’t it on earlier on Me-TV? Why isn’t my dry cleaning done when I go into pick it up? As I said- you can’t please everybody. I wish I could make each one of you happy, with the show on right when you want to see it- and with a movie you definitely want to see. We’re trying to do what we can. Let me apologize now for when things make you unhappy. No hard feelings? Good. But- always feel free to let me know what you think- compliments or complaints. It’s svengoolie@wciu.com (great- now someone will complain “you gave your e-mail address at the end of YESTERDAY’S blog!” Sheeee…)

People really get into the old Svengoolie history- and ask many questions about it. Time again to provide some answers! Here’s a question that comes up every once in a while- and has come up again after my recent visit to WLS-TV’s “190 North”- when they asked about the origins of the “Berwyn” bit, I mentioned it was started by “my dad, the original Svengoolie.” I’ve already gotten a bunch of e-mails asking if he was my real father. Nope- although the original Sven, Jerry G. Bishop, was a mentor to me, and the guy who got me into this business- we are not related. I refer to him as my “dad”- because, as many of you will remember, I first came on TV as “SON of Svengoolie.” Storyline-wise- I was supposed to be his son (in the tradition of the old horror movie tradition, “Son of Frankenstein”- “Son of Dracula”- “Sanford and Son”- no, wait…)It was Jerry G. who , when I came to this station, decided I could drop the “Son of” and just be Svengoolie- and I still occasionally hear from older fans who say “how dare you call yourself Svengoolie.” Well, folks- I do so because Jerry WANTED me to!!! Another question is- where is Jerry? He is , wisely, in a warmer place- beautiful San Diego, where he owns two restaurants and enjoys his family. Even when you were hearing him on weekends at that short-lived oldies station- he was actually recording his shows out there and they were dropped in here via computer magic. A question I got recently from fans of the original show- “who was Valentine Janicki?” That was a name Jerry used when he’d do a litany of gag names who allegedly starred in that night’s movie(“ John Wayne, Freda Payne, Carol Kane, and Valentine Janicki as Spot the Wonder Fungus…”) Who was he? Well, he was a commissioner for the Chicago Sanitary District- who, unfortunately , in the 70s, went to prison for accepting bribes in some sort of sewage deal (no, he didn’t accept sewage as the bribe…ewww!) I believe Mr. Janicki is no longer with us- but I’m sure the sewage lives on… Got a question about the old shows- or, even this new-fangled one I’ve been doing for about twelve years now? Drop me a line- svengoolie@wciu.com- and perhaps I can shed some light on it!!!

I’m guessing a lot of Bears fans are too busy with the Super Bowl to read the Sven blog today. Let’s hope it’s all for a good reason, and we’ll have another championship celebration- even if it IS out in the cold-winding through the streets of Chicago! I’ve been laughing when our pals at WGN Morning News have been rerunning a classic old bit from channel 2. Veteran newsman John “Bulldog” Drummond, after a Bears loss that kept them from repeating after their championship year, is reporting live out amongst an unruly crowd outside Soldier Field. While being buffeted by the rampaging (and , dare I say, somewhat inebriated?) fans, John makes the comment everybody always quotes- “I feel like I’m on the foc’sle of a tramp steamer!” (Foc’sle being an abbreviation for “forecastle”, I think- hey, who am I, Captain Queeg?) The crowd is pushing to get on camera, and John is fighting back, and threatening to cut off the live report if they don’t back off. I can identify with him- I remember an early broadcast I did as a weatherman for WFLD. We were at the Taste of Chicago on a Friday night, with people all around. I did my first cut-in from the platform on top of our live van. When it came time for the forecast, one of the engineers suggested “why don’t you do it from down there with the people?” (BAD idea!) Just as I was winding it up, the crowd behind me surged forward, pushing me off-camera. The folks watching, and back at the station, had no idea if I’d been trampled under the thundering herd! The news director (who now works at WGN!) said , if I wasn’t dead- he was ready to kill me! Being new at the whole live event thing, I didn’t know better- but the veteran engineers with me should have. It’s a pretty scary situation, so I know how “Bulldog” Drummond felt. Drummond is a very cool guy- when I won my first Emmy, he was seated right nearby. He told me he enjoyed the show, and used to prank newby news reporters that they’d missed a story, then used one of our jokes- the Berwyn library had burned down, and the tragedy was- all the books were burned, and three of them hadn’t even been colored in yet! It was a great kick for me to have one of the city’s best-known tv journalists not only know who I was- but quote me one of my jokes! Here’s to you, Bulldog- and , hopefully, to a Bears win , after which neither of us will get crushed by the celebrating crowd!

Yes, it’s Groundhog Day-NO!! Enough of that gag! It just about MADE me gag yesterday…besides, if we didn’t move on to today- and , specifically, tonight- we wouldn’t get to a brand spanking new Svengoolie show! It’s a good one, too- our first showing of Wes Craven’s “the People Under the Stairs!” I knew this would be a good one when, while I was first screening the movie and taking my notes here at work, some of the ladies from our traffic department (no, that isn’t the people who do traffic reports- they’re the people who schedule our commercials for our stations) happened to catch a glimpse, and immediately were excited. One quick glimpse of the screen was all it took Kristen of our station staff to identify it, as one of her favorites! I think it’s a favorite of a lot of other folks, too…it alternates from realistic- to scary-to totally goofy- and back to scary! It’s the story of a young urban boy named Fool, who’s trying to help his sick mom and his poor family, who are about to be evicted by the evil landlord. An acquaintance of his sister (Ving Rhames!) reveals a plan to rob the landlord of a supposed treasure hidden in his house, and pulls Fool into the scheme. Once they finally get in, they realize the house is a trap, lorded over by the weird landlording couple –who seem to have a young girl imprisoned inside, and – some weird subhuman creatures lurking behind the walls and in the cellar! Fool must escape from the house alive, and learn the sinister secrets of the house- and “the People Under the Stairs!” Lots of shocks and surprises in this film, which- and I’m warning you now- is NOT for everybody. Please decide for yourself if you, or someone with you, should be watching. Some people complain that I shouldn’t have to make those warnings during the show, but, I think it’s only fair, since we have such a wide range of ages watching, that I warn you if things might get too intense. I just hope you guys are listening, and I’m not responsible for the nightmares of countless younger and more sensitive viewers. (I always use that phrase, which staff announcer Marty Robinson of WTTW always used to read before episodes of Monty Python. Marty is a great guy, and has a great sense of humor- and, is neither younger nor more sensitive.) Anyway, I think a lot of you will enjoy it- and many of you will notice that the landlord couple was also a couple on the famous “Twin Peaks” tv show! You’ll especially enjoy the performance of “daddy’- Everett McGill- who goes from totally terrorizing to completely wacky at the drop of a shotgun! Plus- our song will take you back to those sensational sixties, since it’s a parody of a Cowsill Family tune lifted from a then-hip musical (big enough hint for you?) I think “People Under the Stairs” will be must-watch viewing for your pre-Super Bowl party!(Let’s dedicate it to the “People Under the Stands” in Miami!) Okay, and before I forget- GO BEARS!!!

Yes, it’s Groundhog Day- the day where, if the groundhog sees his shadow- it’s six more weeks of winter. This has always confused me- if he SEES his shadow- that would mean it’s somewhat fair and sunny out- which would portend better weather. But, no, it means he’s frightened by his shadow, and flees back into his hole for six weeks. Since this happens every year or so, don’t you think he’d build up a tolerance to his shadow? And- if his shadow is so darn scary, what does he do, collapse in fright if he sees a squirrel or some other living thing? If he’s in his groundhog library, and he sees a picture of President Nixon with his famous 5 o’clock shadow, does he flee in terror? If a shadow terrifies him, does the darkness of night-time send him into hysterics? Let us also not forget that, shadow or not, chances are that, in six weeks, the weather will be improving regardless. Can’t we find a more accurate predictor of winter’s end? The most obvious would be, if Tom Skilling stores away his sidewalk salt- you can bet winter is over. If it’s already too late to rent a house on the lakefront in Michigan- winter is over. If the Chicago Streets and San trucks are just coming around with plows for the first time-you can bet winter is over. If road construction is going full steam on the expressways- well, it could be any time- forget that one. I always like the Bill Murray movie, “Groundhog Day”- (I remember when I was first cancelled at WFLD, Mike Flores of the Psychotronic Film Society told me he had mentioned to Bill that I was off the air, and that Bill was disappointed to hear that.) I loved his movie, where the day kept repeating and repeating… Yes, it’s Groundhog Day- the day where, if the groundhog sees his shadow- it’s six more weeks of winter. This has always confused me- if he SEES his shadow- that would mean it’s somewhat fair and sunny out- which would portend better weather. But, no, it means he’s frightened by his shadow, and flees back into his hole for six weeks. Since this happens every year or so, don’t you think he’d build up a tolerance to his shadow? And- if his shadow is so darn scary, what does he do, collapse in fright if he sees a squirrel or some other living thing? If he’s in his groundhog library, and he sees a picture of President Nixon with his famous 5 o’clock shadow, does he flee in terror? If a shadow terrifies him, does the darkness of night-time send him into hysterics? Let us also not forget that, shadow or not, chances are that, in six weeks, the weather will be improving regardless. Can’t we find a more accurate predictor of winter’s end? …wait…didn’t I just…?I…oh, well…come back tomorrow…there’ll be some new blogging…unless it’s like that movie, in which case… Yes, it’s Groundhog Day- the day where, if the groundhog sees his shadow- it’s six more weeks of winter. This has always confused me- if he SEES his shadow- that would mean it’s somewhat fair and sunny out- which would portend better weather. But, no…