January 2007 Archives

I’ve been telling you about movies we had early on here on our Sven show at WCIU that I wish we had again, and that people request occasionally- and one that is high on the list is “the Stuff!” It was among the first movies we showed, I think in our very first month on the air here. The Stuff is a new delicious dessert- looks kind of like whipped cream-and it’s totally addicting. Only one problem- once you eat it, the stuff infiltrates your brain, turning you into a zombie! It was discovered by two genius miners, who found some stuff-TASTED IT- and decided it’d be a great treat to market! I’m sure if you find some gooey stuff out on a rock somewhere, the first thing you’d do is stick some in your mouth. What are these guys, 8 months old?! This movie includes very 70s –looking commercials for “the Stuff” –and features Garrett Morris as a sort of “Famous Amos” character. I remember us doing a special effect where it looked like the stuff was spraying out of my mouth, done by using whipped cream shot thru a hole in a black card, superimposed over my face! We also had, believe it or not- “Logan’s Run”- another film some people keep in their classics file. Michael York is a “sandman” whose job it is to hunt down anyone in the futuristic world who doesn’t submit to a ritual called “Carrousel” when they turn thirty years old. (Of course, the ritual , unknown to many- ends with death!) When York turns thirty, HE ends up going on the run- and traveling to the outside world where no one has gone for eons! This movie also featured the lovely Jenny Agutter, plus Farrah Fawcett in a minor role. I recall us making endless fun of a clanky robot who dwelled in a frozen area, voiced by Roscoe Lee Browne! Okay- one more film I wish we could get again? You may have missed this one – a black and white film called “UFO”- a semi-documentary about “real” UFOs , told from the viewpoint of a reporter who both sort of looked and sounded like the great Paul Harvey, though it wasn’t him. UFO cases were recreated, and “actual footage” of several UFOs was shown. The only color footage was a home movie of what looked like soap bubbles floating high in the sky. This movie had interviews with actual witnesses-including armed forces members-plus, some of the worst acting possible. It definitely fell into “so bad it’s good” territory! Got an old one we showed back then that you wish we could get back? Tell me about it- svengoolie@wciu.com and maybe I’ll squeeze another blog or two out of your responses!

Last Saturday’s showing of “I Saw What You Did”- a movie we originally showed back in the late 90s- has opened the flood gates for requests for other movies we ran back then. The problem- while “I Saw…” was on the list of our Universal deal- a lot of the others aren’t. I did want to mention some of those past movies that I too wish we could get back on the show. One that we still get requests for is “Hell Comes to Frog Town” starring wrestling icon Rowdy Roddy Piper. The “Hot Rod” plays Sam Hell-one of the last virile surviving men after nuclear holocaust, who’s released from prison to team up with sexy Sandahl Bergman and her crew- to travel to “Frog Town” where a reptilian leader has a group of fertile young women held captive. The funniest part is that Rod has an explosive sort of “chastity belt” attached to himself that will explode if it’s removed! It’s a pretty wacky, fun movie. In real life, Roddy Piper is currently undergoing treatment for lymphoma, and hopes to make a full recovery. We spoke to him last summer at “Flashback Weekend” and, as you might have seen, he was pretty ‘out there’, but a nice guy. Another film we had that I wish we had now is a real classic- “Forbidden Planet!” Leslie Neilsen as a dramatic romantic lead- not a parody doofus- Ann Francis as the innocent young daughter of Dr. Morbius (Walter Pidgeon) who has discovered alien technology powered by the mind- that releases “id monsters.” This is the movie that brought us the sci-fi robot icon, Robby the Robot! When we first ran it, I was so proud to have a true classic on our new Sven show here at “the U”-and have always loved the movie, since seeing it back on WGN’s old “Family Classics” with Frazier Thomas. There’s a great collector’s dvd edition available now, in a tin box, with collectibles, including a small “Robby the Robot” figure! One I get asked about all the time is the very first movie we showed here on WCIU- “CHUD!” Okay , trivia buffs- what does “CHUD” stand for? I’ll tell you at the end of the blog…anyway, it’s about some mutants who live in the sewers of New York, who begin to invade the surface world and –ahem- eat people! It’s all caused by toxic waste being dumped in the sewers (isn’t that ALWAYS the reason?!) Plenty of scary moments, plus Daniel Stern from “City Slickers” and narrator of “the Wonder Years.” Those were certainly wonder years for us, starting out at WCIU with such cool movies. I’ve got some more that folks bring up- which I’ll tell you about tomorrow.(oh, and “CHUD” stood for “Cannibalistic Humanoid Underground Dwellers.” Although it sounds like a nickname for a mass transit system…)

Did you catch my appearance on channel 7’s “190 North” last night? They were doing a story on BERWYN and decided that the story wouldn’t be complete without including me. I haven’t written about the frequently-asked question “what’s the deal with Berwyn?” lately, so, briefly, let me re-cap. In the early 70s, when the original Sven, Jerry G. Bishop, wanted a local town to make fun of the way Johnny Carson and Rowan and Martin made small-town jokes about beautiful downtown Burbank- he hit upon the lovely suburb of Berwyn, with its yearly parade in honor of mushrooms. He kept the bit alive in various incarnations, and, when I took up the Sven torch, you know that I kept the tradition going –to this very day! As I’ve said before, it’s always a kick to hear a radio announcer, or someone in public, pronounce “BER-WYN?!” in the classic Sven show manner. What do you want to hit when you’re in Berwyn? Well, of course, our Sven sponsor-the Horrorbles store on Roosevelt Road- with many cool collectibles, movies, posters, and –yes, even Sven shirts! Go just west of there, and get a nice Italian beef at the original Buona Beef. Go further east, and you’ll find a great place to hear live music- the famous Fitzgerald’s. Head up to Cermak Road- which used to be known as “Bohemian Broadway”- and you’ll still find the Bohemian and Czech restaurants- plus- right near Harlem and Cermak-the famous “Spindle” structure. That’s the big spike with the cars on it that was in “Wayne’s World”(also the place that we had the giant mutated sea monkey ape climb in an episode of “Captain Dustpan” back at Fox during the “Koz Zone!”) You’ll also find the world’s largest laundromat in Berwyn-(is that for the world’s largest laundry? 6XXL underwear and the like?) Some of the sites we used to hit are long gone- the famous junk sculpture- lots of …well…junk, imbedded in concrete that stood at Harlem and Cermak for many years. It had box fans in it that would turn when the wind blew (eventually, pigeons roosted in there!) After many years of exposure to the weather, the cement started to fall apart- so the sculpture was sadly removed. Also, the Harlem-Cermak theater, where Jerry G. and I appeared, is long gone- I believe a Best Buy stands where it was. And- the “Flip Side” record store that I helped open, broadcasting live on WCKG, is long gone as well. Have I whetted your appetite for a tour of Berwyn? Someday we should charter a bus, and have a Sven tour of the town! Meanwhile, make a return trip here tomorrow for more blog-and less Berwyn!?

Did you love “I Saw What You Did” last night on the show? It’s really a fun movie, and reminds me of all the weird movies Joan Crawford was doing around that time. She had signed on with exploitation maven William Castle, and he put her in all sorts of his gimmick-laden films-but, what originally led to that was that, her pairing with Bette Davis –whom she supposedly couldn’t stand- in the creepy “Whatever Happened to Baby Jane?” She was a crippled movie queen, forced to live with her deranged former child star sister, who , jealous of her sister’s success, tortured her. Bette is a hoot in that film- dressed and made-up as her “child star” persona, and singing a ridiculous song about “writing a letter to Daddy.” After the film was a big success, Joan hooked up with castle, and made “Strait-Jacket”-in which she is an axe murderess who is finally released from prison (she’s “all better” now) and takes up residence with her daughter. Suddenly, people are being decapitated, and guess who’s the suspect? You got it- Miss “No Wire Hangers.” Supposedly, Joan demanded that the entire script be rewritten to meet her approval before she’d sign on to star in it! After this film, Joan was supposed to go back to film another movie with Bette Davis- “Hush Hush Sweet Charlotte”-but feigned illness because she hated Bette so much, and was let go from the film…which is when she made “I Saw What You Did!” After that she made “Berserk!”-where she wore fishnet stockings as owner of a circus-where people are getting murdered! Funny thing- the ending of this movie is identical to the ending of “Strait-Jacket!” I won’t ruin it if you’ve never seen ‘em- no, wait, if you saw one of them, I just ruined the other one for you. Sorry. Joan wound up her horror movie career with the hilarious “Trog”- in which she tries to save a prehistoric man-the “Troglodyte”-and her make-up is almost as thick as his. Boy, I’d love to get “Trog” for the Sven show! Actually, any of those others would be big fun for us. Heck, even “Mommie Dearest” in Svensurround would be a good time…anyway- come back tomorrow for more good times, and no wire hangers (well, maybe some wire hangers-on…)

It’s campy fun tonight on Svengoolie- with a show from our past- updated and brought back thanks to our deal with Universal! If you’ve never seen this , you’re going to love it- The 1965 William Castle chiller “I Saw What You Did!” You get scenery-chewing Miss Joan Crawford, who gets top billing in the film, even though her role was intended as a cameo! It’s the story of a couple teenaged babysitters who start making wacky prank phone calls while babysitting the one girl’s little sister. After a few phony phone calls, they make a random call , telling the recipient “ I saw what you did and I know who you are!” Unfortunately, on the other end of the line is a guy who just murdered his wife- and now thinks that the gals are wise to him, so- THEY are the next target!!! It’s actually a pretty creepy film, with a lot of tension and suspense. You’ll love the high-strung Joan Crawford, as the killer’s “other” love interest, who ends up clashing with the teen pranksters. We’ve got a segment of “Svensurround-ed” scenes, plus a visit from “Miss Joan” herself! Also, remember that this film was a William castle production- castle being the famous exploitation film maker who used all sorts of gimmicks to promote his films. He’s the guy who did “the Tingler” and had movie theater seats wired to give members of the audience a shock! We’ll tell you more about him in tonight’s show. You might be aware that this film was re-made- in1988- as a made-for-TV movie, with Shawnee Smith (“Linda from the Bronx” in “Becker!) as the head prankster and “Full House” star Candice Cameron as her younger sister (no “Uncle Joey” though!) Also in the cast of that version were both David and Robert Carradine. That version actually won an Emmy award! But- it didn’t have Joan Crawford, which our version tonight certainly does. So- tune in tonight at 9 pm (or, hit Me-TV at 1 am) so you can see “I Saw What You Did.” See? Saw? (Wait- that’s an old Curly joke- must’ve drifted over from “Stooge-a-palooza”- which, coincidentally, runs right before Sven- starting at 7 pm! You might as well watch that too…nudge-nudge, wink-wink…)

Earlier this week, I mentioned that those of you with Svengoolie memories of the past would have a chance to recount these memories- and possibly see them in print! Well, here’s the deal- our old pal Dennis Druktenis, head honcho of “Scary Monsters” magazine, has put out the call for some “Monster Memories!” Dennis would like you to tell him about your Svengoolie memories (that’s memories of myself, the current Svengoolie, and/or my days as “Son of Svengoolie”)-like, when did you first see me as Sven? What was your favorite show or bit? Do you have memories of meeting me at a public appearance, or seeing me perform in public? Has the show had any influence on you (other than nausea?) He’ll go through your Sven stories and print some of them in an upcoming issue! He’d also like photos you’ve taken of Sven appearances, meetings, etc. You can send your stories to Scary Monsters magazine at- what else?- scaremail@aol.com - and he asks that you send hard copy photos to : Dennis Druktenis Publishing- 348 Jocelyn Pl. – Highwood, IL – 60040 .( I’d suggest sending a copy of the photo, so Dennis won’t have to return it.) Scary Monsters magazine is a locally-produced monster magazine that has featured us before- and, thanks to you- will do so again! I’d certainly enjoy seeing your memories as well, so , when you send your story to Dennis, why not e-mail it to me as well?(BUT- send it DIRECTLY to Dennis!) His deadline (or, as he put it, his DEADline) is Feb. 15th- so, please get your thoughts together asap (thoughts about a s-a-p?!)-and you might see them in print! You know that I love to see locally-produced media flourish- and it’s important to support that- just as you guys have supported our show, and our stations. We’re always grateful that the viewing audience has found room in its habits to include a station that really doesn’t have any network affiliation- and is truly a local independent station. It’s especially great that your support has made this station a success! Nobody thought, when we became “the U” back in 1995, that the station would achieve what it has in a relatively short amount of time. So, let’s congratulate each other! And you can continue your support (why does this sound like a PBS pledge break?!) by tuning in to Sven tomorrow night. What’s in store? Come back tomorrow for the info!

I heard from many of you regarding my blog about movies whose titles I’d stumbled upon that would make good Sven films. I thought I’d share some of the additional suggestions that came from viewers regarding films that would also be great Sven fodder! Ken Gage suggested “Riders to the Stars”- a 1954 flick in which three astronauts, each in their own ship, head to a meteor to research its composition to aid in future space endeavors. It stars William Lundigan and the then-sultry Martha Hyer- plus, in a minor role- James Best –Sheriff Roscoe from “Dukes of Hazzard!” Another Sven fan, Doug Long, mentions that it has a great retro opening song- and could be plenty of Sven fun (especially with added “Svensurround!”) Christy (who likes my new tuxedo shirt look, by the way) suggests a movie that has to be great- it’s got David Hasselhoff! “Witchery” also stars Linda Blair as a pregnant woman with disturbing dreams of being chased. Leslie Cumming is writing a book about “witch’s light” (as opposed to Amstell Light) and feels she must refrain from sensual pleasures in order to fully understand her subject matter- which makes her boyfriend Hasselhoff unhappy. Some ancient witch is the cause of the problems- either that, or the script-and one menace in the film is- a bottomless bathtub!(Then- how does the water stay in the…oh, never mind)With “Knight Rider” David and “Exorcist” Linda-they could have at least had a talking car that spit up pea soup… One more- Albert suggests we get “The Incredibly Strange Creatures Who Stopped Living and Became Mixed-Up Zombies.” By the time I read the title, the show would be over! As is my blog for today- come back tomorrow for more!

Having been on TV in Chicago starting in 1979- a lot of material has floated over the old video dam…and there’s an awful lot that I wouldn’t just call to mind without long-time fans mentioning things to me. Even now, I might not remember what movie we aired two weeks ago, because we’re frantically working ahead on things! However, the memories of Sven fans , new and long-time, are always there to help me recall various old bits and songs. What things to people bring up a lot that surprise me? Well, I’m always amazed by fans who tell me very specific things about shows from the very first couple years of my show at WFLD. I’ve had folks remind me about bits from a Halloween “Dracula-thon” we did there on, I believe my very first Halloween as Son of Svengoolie. One thing that I always thought was just a throw-away has been brought up- and repeated verbatim –to me any number of times! We had the little ventriloquist dummy Durwood do a song parody about Trick-or-treating, done to the then-current ELO tune “Don’t Bring Me Down”- and it became “Don’t Give Me Gum!” I still have people come up to me, and do whole verses of the song-which, quite honestly, I couldn’t recall under any circumstances! Another bit that , for some reason, long-time fans remember was a show open where someone was in my coffin , holding the evening’s film hostage. Myself and various crew members were huddled behind sofas, set pieces, etc., as the perpetrator stated his demands- and the whole bit ended with everyone (except me!) somehow entering the coffin! The best known bit from that time has to be our Fred Rogers parody- “MisterRobber’s Neighborhood”-(we did this long before Eddie Murphy did his “MisterRobinson’s Neighborhood” on SNL)-in which my mild-mannered, soft-voiced MisterRobber was a thief who broke into your home to steal things, thanks to his friend “Mr. Crowbar.” Like the real Fred Rogers, he changed shows when he came in- he put on sneakers so it would be harder to hear him. The open of the bit even had a close-up of a miniature neighborhood, like the original- and we did parodies the opening and closing songs.(“ Tomorrow-tomorrow; we’ll try again tomorrow if we don’t- get- caught…”) This bit was considered the most-requested Sven bit ever- until we did the Menard’s parody with the “Svenard’s Man!” Do you have specific WCIU Sven (and WFLD “Son of Sven”) memories? Come back later this week- and I’ll tell you how you can submit them- and possibly see them in a magazine!

How did you do on the Sven celebrity trivia challenge from yesterday’s blog? Well, let’s find out- here are the answers and some background for each question!

1. The WLS newswoman who has watched Sven since she was a child is – the lovely Cheryl Burton, who told me as much when we met as part of some half-time entertainment at a Chicago Bulls game!

2. Everyone of the Bears listed has talked with me on radio or tv- EXCEPT the punky QB, Jim MacMahon! I’ve never had the opportunity to meet Jim. Steve “Mongo” McMichael certainly provided a highlight of my night when we did a Bears pre-game show last season-with some words we’d normally bleep from a Sven movie! He does watch the show, and asked if the people in some of the movies get any residual payments (the answer is “no!”)

3. FALSE!!! I was never in “People”- BUT- the article was actually in the national “TV Guide” magazine. It was written by Frank De Caro, and singled out only a handful of horror hosts- including Zacherly, SCTV’s “Count Floyd”- and myself. It was a great honor to be included.

4. Only tennis star Bobby Riggs, who once played Billy Jean King in a “battle of the sexes” match, appeared on the “SON OF Sven” show- the others appeared on shows done for WCIU. Norm Van Lier was a fan of the show, and was happy to drop by- Tammy Faye was about to start a talk show with Jim Bullock and they dropped in to plug it- and Carmen Electra consented to be on the show when we met her at a Chicago Comicon (she liked my make-up, and I liked her…everything.)

BONUS QUESTION: It was wrestler Nickolai Volkov who put a headlock on Rich Koz for a promotion picture, backstage at the (then) Rosemont Horizon. Luke and Butch, the “Bushwackers”, wacky New Zealanders, didn’t put a headlock on me, but they did put the bite on me at a live taping of the “Koz Zone” at the taste of Chicago! And, the Hulkster didn’t put any holds on me , other than throwing chickens at me, when he visited the Sven show. He did, though, call me “brother” (Hogan fans know the significance of that!) So- how did you do? Did you at least learn some Sven trivia facts? It’s funny, regarding meeting celebrities- if they’re not from Chicago, a lot of times I have to explain my make-up and outfit, and give them a brief Sven history so they don’t think I’m just some weirdo ( not that doing so really helps stops them from thinking that!) Let me know if you want to do more trivia- svengoolie@wciu.com - and come back tomorrow!

Some of you have been asking for more interactive stuff here- and one of the suggestions was some Svengoolie trivia! So- let’s try it! I’ll give you some Sven celebrity trivia questions, and let’s see how much you know…we’ll post the answers in tomorrow’s blog. We’ll make it a little easier by making them multiple choice. Put your thinking cap on (okay, a shower cap if you have a budget like mine) and let’s get started:

1. Which of the following WLS newswomen has watched Sven since childhood?

Sylvia Gomez, Cheryl Burton, or Janet Davies

2. In honor of this season- which former Bears have spoken with Sven on radio or tv?

Steve McMichael, Tom Thayer, Keith van Horne, Chris Zorich, Doug Buffone, Jim MacMahon

3. True or false- Sven was featured in an article about famous horror movie hosts in “People” magazine.

4. Which one of the following appeared on the “Son of Svengoolie” show on WFLD?

Tammy Faye Bakker, Bobby Riggs, Carmen Electra, Norm Van Lier

BONUS QUESTION: Which of the following wrestlers once put Rich Koz in a headlock? (I know this isn’t purely a Sven question, but some people enjoy knowing that Koz has been roughed up!) Hulk Hogan, Nickolai Volkov, Luke and/or Butch (the Bushwackers tag team) How much do you think you know? Well, come back tomorrow for the answers! Remember- NO prizes will be awarded- just the satisfaction that you know plenty of useless information about a useless tv personality!

Glad to hear that so many of you were happy to see some “Svensurround” in the movie last night- I know, it’s been missing too long, but- as I said- we don’t want to mess up the Universal classics- some people would never forgive me! Okay, okay- let’s sound an ear-shattering “Go Bears!” Been a long time since we shuffled to the Super Bowl…I was thinking about some of the Sven trips to Soldier Field- no, none as part of a Bears game, but two pretty interesting events… The last one was shortly after the new stadium opened. Sven was asked to come out for a special night when they’d run the Hitchcock classic “Psycho” on the big screen, and folks could sit in the stands and watch! It was pretty cool- I signed autographs on the concourse, and met with people as we watched the film – a lot of scary stuff has been seen in Soldier Field, so this wasn’t really out of the ordinary. It was also a great way to let people get a look at the new digs of the Bears. An even more unusual visit came in conjunction with the original Sven, Jerry G. Bishop, in the early ‘70s. They wanted him to come to the old Soldier Field to be a part of the entertainment for a July 4th fireworks show. We had a loosely-planned skit that involved Jerry/Sven on the field, when a hearse would arrive, a coffin would open- and a guy in a chicken suit would come out of it, and chase Sven! It was kind of surreal- we were “backstage” in the stadium, with a bunch of circus/variety acts, including an eastern European family who performed gymnastics on top of extremely high, swaying poles! (I was even more impressed, as a twenty year old, by one of the younger members of the family, a cute blonde who seemed intrigued by what we were going to do!) Supposedly “managing” Jerry’s act was a friend of his who owned some stores, but didn’t seem to completely understand how this all was going to work. (At one point, one of the organizers- a real Chicago guy- sneered at him “Listen, Einstein- we need to know what’s going on, or it’s not gonna happen!”) I had to help explain to a group of musicians what music to hit at which cues, and help map out the action. It all came off pretty well, and was kind of bizarre- being out on the field, and having this “chicken” chasing Jerry, while the band played “That’s A-Plenty” (Jackie Gleason’s “traveling music”).I always remember Jerry being impressed by the huge crowd’s reaction to him. Definitely a proud moment in Svengoolie family history. Let’s hope there are no chickens on that field today!

New show tonight! Repeat- new show tonight! No Abbott- no Costello- and neither will be here “meeting” anyone. And- for those of you who missed some “Svensurround” in the movies- Get ready to rejoice- because we’ve got some in tonight’s flick! The movie is “the Fun House”- an early product of Tobe Hooper, who brought you “Poltergeist”, “the Texas Chainsaw Massacre”, “Lifeforce” and so many more, and does stories for Showtime’s “Masters of Horror” series. The premise is pretty simple- the traveling carnival has come to town. Amy has a date to go there- but her dad is a little worried- the carnival has a bad reputation, with some girls who disappeared while attending it in another town. Amy lies and says she’s going to a movie- but her bratty younger brother knows better , and trails Amy, her date, and another teen couple to the carnival. One of the genius teens decides it’d be really cool to spend the night in the funhouse! I think we all know where that’s going. The bratty younger brother watches the couples ride into the funhouse- only to see their empty cars come back out! (Much like a roach motel- they go in, but they come out!) Having accomplished their mission to stay in , the teens begin to regret their decision when they witness a nasty act in the bowels of the funhouse- and soon become the targets of a couple of carnies, one of which is…not normal. It becomes a deadly game of hide and seek, with the kid brother on the outside suspecting that something bad is happening. The make-up for this film was done by horror make-up masters Rick Baker and Craig Reardon- and the film really captures the seedy foreboding atmosphere of the carnival. During the show, I’ll explain about how the film’s screenplay was turned into a novel by none other than famous horror/fantasy author Dean Koontz-and- remember the cartoon character Baby Huey? I’ll show you the bit player in this film who actually was the voice of the over-grown duckling! Now, about the “Svensurround”- some of you will protest- “how can you add stuff to a Tobe Hooper film?” Well, unfortunately, a lot of the early part of the film seems to drag- So, we’ve beefed it up a little. Once the horror really starts rolling, believe me- it doesn’t need much help! This is another film for which I think viewer discretion may be advisable. Have fun in the “Fun House” with me tonight! Sorry, you must be THIS tall to enter…oh, wait, you’re sitting down….

I’ve said this before- I’m often surprised by the stuff you folks remember from my many years of shows. I was reminded of this when a recent e-mail mentioned Tombstone’s nephews! Yes, our talking skull Tombstone has nephews who made quite a few appearances back in the WFLD days- and people do bring them up every so often! The original Tombstone nephews were some little wind-up plastic skulls, whose voices were provided by myself and station announcer Jim Barton. We would record the voices in the standard “Chipmunks” technique- we would do our lines at a slow pace, then speed them up for the wacky comedic effect. The problem with the wind-up skulls was, they would chatter and move all over the black surface we had them on (to make it easy to super-impose them over other shots)-too much, at times, taking them out of the camera’s shot! Eventually, we got some different plastic skulls- mounted on a stick with a trigger that you pulled to move the mouth. This made it a little easier to keep them in camera range, and also to co-ordinate the mouth movement with the lines we were saying. Jim Barton and I always had no difficulty cracking each other up- and , doing the nephew voices at a slow pace, with all the extra enunciation that was necessary to make sure they’d be understood, was a sure road to the two of us ending up in helpless laughter. Even the sped-up laughter was funny! One bit that viewers bring up was the time that Tombstone and his nephews went on strike to get Tombstone a pay raise- the “boys” had little picket signs, and kept chanting “Bonuses for Bonehead!” Another favorite was when we had a movie about a vampire in the old West, and the nephews joined me for some “western warbling”- we sang some cowboy song parodies, followed by the nephews doing impressions of famous western stars like John Wayne and Walter Brennan! (We’ve shown that retro clip a couple times here…) You might also remember a WCIU appearance of the nephews, when they joined their uncle to sing a parody of Aretha Franklin’s “Think”- in a movie about shrunken heads! That time, the “boys” were just a “shrunken “ version of the full-sized Tombstone, complete with different color moustaches! Will the nephews make a return visit to the show? It’s always a possibility-with some of our new production techniques, they may evolve again!

Okay, I know- I started to talk about your feedback yesterday, then got caught up in some of my usual gripes about insignificant things. Today, I promise to launch right into some of the stuff you’ve written about. The e-mails continue to be mixed regarding our Abbott and Costello flicks- about half of you enjoy them, even being rerun- and the other half don’t. Some feel they might be easier to take if not one after another. Others just don’t enjoy the comedic stylings of Bud and Lou. As I’ve said, we have to go by the schedule given to us by Universal- so we can’t break them up when they’ve got them scheduled one after another. Be content in the knowledge that we’ve got a new show this week, sans Bud and Lou (but- they will be back.) Another question I’ve gotten lately is “how can we meet you?” Don’t worry- you’ll get plenty of opportunities- Mr. Goolie does a lot of public appearances every year, which are the best bet to meet me, get an autograph, etc. Not all of them get publicized on television, BUT- aren’t you glad you visit this website? We try to promote most of my public appearances right here, amongst the news, or in these blogs themselves. We really don’t have tours or offer visits with me here at our station- there just isn’t time, or people to co-ordinate such meetings. And, quite honestly, we’ve got a lot of work to get done, which makes it tough to have time to chat. The public appearances are usually a lot of fun, you get to take pictures, if you wish, at most of them- and I don’t just sit silently signing like some folks do- I DO actually converse with you! So, watch for upcoming appearances, and come out and meet me. I get some questions regarding whether I should talk about the 3 Stooges here, although it is ostensibly a Svengoolie-fronted blog. I think between my Sven persona and my alter ego, it isn’t out of line to do so. The many fans of “Stooge-a-palooza” demand equal rights (and lefts- right in the kisser) so we will stray into Stooge territory occasionally! And- once again- I have to mention that we cannot read every letter, show every drawing or photo, etc. on the air. Also, we cannot just mention your name- I always encourage viewers to provide us with something interesting- whether it’s a comment, idea, trivia, artwork, photo- that’s unique enough that it will heighten your chances of having it shown or read on the shows. And- as I always say- I do personally read everything that comes in, even if we can’t acknowledge it all. So- keep it coming! Send to svengoolie@wciu.com or at our snail mail address (I love when people say “I watch your show every week- at what address can I send you something?” We rarely miss giving our station address on each show- so, if you really do watch every week- wouldn’t you see it?!)

Thanks for all your e-mails at svengoolie@wciu.com - I’m glad you’re enjoying my rants here, and appreciate your ideas for future blogs and your various feedback. I did want to thank those of you who wrote regarding the recent passing of my former fellow WCKG deejay Allan Stagg- many of you remembered him, and even had interactions with him- one of our constant viewers even won a big money prize and talked to him on the air! Some of you really get a kick out of me complaining about things- after all, isn’t that what a lot of blogs end up being, anyway? I try not to be too negative, but- every so often, something sets me off… for example… I get a perverse joy out of advertisers who don’t know what year it is. Case in point- I’m listening to a local station, and they occasionally will run these horrid ads for –“rich, chocolatey Ovaltine” (that’s how they label it- EVERY. SINGLE. TIME they mention its name.) The people who put the spots together must truly believe it’s 1960. They’re written with these groups of kids swooning over Ovaltine, in a very out-dated manner, or some June Cleaver-ish mom waxing poetic about the virtues of Ovaltine- all in a style reminiscent of some annoying 50s or 60s radio commercials. It wouldn’t be bad if they were PURPOSELY mimicking those commercials, as a sort of retro thing- but, to me, it seems more like somebody totally out of touch with current advertising trends (heck, even The ad styles of the past twenty years!) wrote these , thinking they’re gold! They usually end with a chorus of kids, speaking in unison, saying “More Ovaltine, please!”-which brings up another pet peeve of mine. Some people think that a group of people, adults or kids, all saying something in unison, is a great technique. It’s not. In some commercials, nobody coached these people, and you can’t understand them because they’re not completely in sync. I know a lot of guys doing radio station promos love to have names or phrase said in unison (usually all the voices are the one production guy, doubled up)- I guess similar to the old jingles that radio stations used to have. Did you catch that, boys? USED TO. Another annoying technique in radio- the “filtered voice”- you know, the effect that makes a voice sound like it’s coming over a tinny speaker. This caught on in radio in the 80s, and was used mainly to draw attention to , say , an ad or promo, because it sounded so different from the announcer’s voice quality. And, it worked- then. Now, since everybody does it (and over-does it) people are used to it, and it doesn’t draw attention anymore. Time to put that one to sleep, kiddies. As always- these are just my opinions, my rantings and ravings- maybe it’s so insignificant to you, you can’t believe I’m writing about it. But, hey- I just gave you a topic for YOUR blog. Don’t bother to thank me…

I was researching a special prop you’ll see on our show this Saturday night- a resin statute of “Gort” –the giant robotic policeman/bodyguard from the movie “The Day the Earth Stood Still”-sent over by our sponsor Horrorbles.com . It’s pretty cool- and reminded me of that great movie, which some of us probably first saw on Frasier Thomas’ old “Family Classics” show on channel 9 in Chicago. It’s truly a classic movie- with the giant metallic saucer landing, holding not a hideous invading alien monster, but an imposing gentleman here to warn us of the dangerous things we’re getting into, like atomic warfare. He is accompanied by Gort- the huge robot, who raises his visor to project a disintegrating ray. All sci-fi Fans remember the famous line Patricia Neal was told to relay to Gort to keep him from shooting the ray, and to get him to help his injured master –“Klaatu baratta nicto.” (Watch our show this week to see what our “webmaster” spider Qwerty thinks that translates into!) Anyway, when researching the movie (which, I’m sorry, is NOT in our library- but is available on dvd for a very modest price), I found out a couple pretty interesting things. First, inside the giant Gort robot was- not a professional actor- but a guy who was the doorman at the (then) Graumann’s Chinese Theater (the place in Hollywood where they have all the stars’ hand and footprints in cement.) They had chosen him because he was very tall- period. Once he was in the costume, there were a few problems- one being that the costume was pretty heavy, and it made it hard for him to move around. Secondly, this fellow wasn’t very strong, and when he had to carry people- like Patricia Neal or Michael Rennie- he couldn’t do it-so, they had to have wires to support the bodies, or put them on something like a dolly that could move and not be seen in certain angles. So much for the powerful alien robot… The other secret I found out is- the trick to making the saucer seem to be seamless, yet it splits to reveal the opening. They simply caulked the crack where the door opened, and painted it silver. When the door opened, it pulled the caulk loose, so it looked like the solid metal split. They reversed the footage, running it backwards, to have the saucer re-seal seamlessly! Boy, I sure spent a lot of time talking about a movie we don’t even have- but, it’s a great one. Check it out- and check out tomorrow’s blog!

Yesterday, I started the story of my run-in with a motorist who was impatiently honking behind me as I waited to get safely into oncoming traffic. Since there was no way to mime that my car wasn’t in good shape, and could stall, and I didn’t want to end up in a crash- I did the next best thing- gave him the middle finger salute. As I wrote yesterday, I finally got into the traffic stream, and made my way to a near-by shopping center’s parking lot, where he had followed me and confronted me. Yes, he ended every sentence with “sucker” as if he were Aunt Esther on “Sanford and Son.” He continued to bristle at my middle finger display back at the intersection. “That’s usually an invitation to duke it out at the side of the road, sucker.” (He couldn’t vary it with a “you big dummy” ala Fred Sanford?) I told him I wasn’t going to risk my car stalling and getting hit because he was in a hurry. “I just spent a half hour waiting at the car wash, sucker!” (Enough with the sucker, already!) “Then you shouldn’t have been so impatient about getting out onto the road” I said “and you’re certainly not making up any time by following me all the way here so you can argue with me!” He fumed “somebody ought to teach you some manners.” At that point, figuring this had gone on long enough, I apologized, and asked if he could accept that. “Somebody ought to teach you some manners, sucker” he continued. His door was open, and his wife was sitting staring straight ahead. “You must be very proud of him” I called in to her, and continued on my way, as he stood there fuming, and trying to think of another sentence he could end with “sucker.” Okay, clearly I shouldn’t have given him the obscene gesture- I was wrong. Even today, I’ve learned to try to control my bird-flipping instincts- nothing would be more helpful to my life than having someone somewhere telling the tale of how “that guy who’s Svengoolie gave me the finger!” Not the best public relations move. Actually, you have to try to behave yourself More than normal when you’re even a bottom-feeder celebrity like me- you don’t want people telling stories about what a total jerk you are (unless it’s true, in which case, reality sucks, but it’s the truth!) When you go out to dinner, you’d best give a nice tip, even if service isn’t good, or there’ll be tales circulating that you’re a real cheap moron.( Okay, maybe those tales are circulating, because I DON’T leave a good tip if the service is bad.) Anyway, I try my bets to be tolerant- a lesson we all should have learned from Martin Luther King, Jr.-who we remember on this day. Be tolerant, and if you have to fight, fight fair. And, give somebody the benefit of a doubt if they don’t pull out into traffic as quickly as you’d like- sucker.

It’s Sunday- which reminds me of the old automotive insult “Sunday driver!” Doesn’t sound like much of an insult these days- back in the day, it was a reference to clueless drivers who were going along at less than the correct speed, dreamily taking in the sights, as someone on a Sunday pleasure drive might do. So, someone stuck behind said driver might hurl that hurtful insult “Sunday driver!” at him. Today, chances are the insult might be even more pronounced, involving the flashing of a certain finger. What brought this to mind were a couple drivers I encountered recently- one, with plates from Minnesota, would sit in place once the stoplight turned green (we don’t have green lights in Minnesota, is that it?!) and then, motored along at a snail’s pace, with a turn signal on, while continuing to go straight. The other was a lady who pulled out right in front of me while I was pulling into a parking garage, then, while I was driving up through the garage, pulled backwards out of a space right in front of me, paying NO attention to oncoming traffic either time. Maybe I’m more patient than I used to be (although I certainly have my moments) and didn’t swear, send a hand signal, etc. I was just recalling an even from many years ago. I had a somewhat unreliable car, and was waiting to pull out into a ton of oncoming traffic. The person behind me honked when I didn’t take a quick turn out into a brief lull between cars. Now, with a car that had a tendency to stall, I wasn’t about to pull out and risk an accident because somebody was impatient- so, I (sigh) flipped him off- and then found a wide enough space to pull out. As I pulled into a near-by parking lot, and exited my car- up pulled this angry motorist, leaping out of his car, and confronting me. “What do you mean, giving me the finger, sucker?” Every sentence ended with sucker, making me believe he had learned English by watching “Sanford and Son” reruns that featured Aunt Esther. Was trouble brewing? Would he call Lemont or Bubba for back-up? (That’s more Sanford stuff, for those who aren’t fans) I’ll continue my Sunday driving story on Monday! Meanwhile, drive safely- and (ahem) finger-free!

Ready for one more “encore performance” of an Abbott and Costello scare comedy? We’ve got it for you tonight- before a new show next week- it’s “A & C Meet the Invisible Man!” Plenty of fun in this one, with nods to the original “Invisible man” Claude Raines included (watch for his picture on the wall in one scene!) as I explain tonight, this film was originally supposed to be part of the Universal “Invisible Man” series, as a dramatic movie, but, with Bud and Lou making box office cash meeting “monsters” –the studio decided to make it a vehicle for them. A viewer also wrote in and told us about something he’d read in a book about “the Munsters” tv series- if you watch when Bud and Lou first go to the doctor’s home/laboratory, the house is actually the Munsters’ mansion! It was a stock scary Victorian-looking façade on the Universal lot, and was later adapted into the homestead for Herman and Lily’s brood. So many of those houses on the Universal lot show up again and again in movies and television, like the Munster house and Beaver Cleaver’s house- I think I’ve read that some of them are currently a part of Wisteria Lane in “Desperate Housewives!” Anyway, someone else to watch for in tonight’s movie is Sheldon Leonard- an actor who made his early mark playing gangster types- even for comedy on “Jack Benny” shows. He plays the tough gang boss who’s bumping off uncooperative people who don’t take part in his schemes involving taking a dive. Leonard later became an extremely successful tv producer, doing “the Danny Thomas Show” and “I Spy”, among others. He was also the voice of cereal shill character Linus the Lionhearted who touted Post Crispy Critters. The character even starred in a show that had cartoons based on a bunch of Post cereal mascots- Sugar Bear, the Alpha-Bits PostMan- this was before laws were passed to avoid direct shilling of products through the cartoon shows. One thing you may enjoy tonight is when we demonstrate how some of the “invisible” effects were done back in the film’s era…it seems pretty simple now, but was definitely “state-of-the-art” back then! It’s definitely an entertaining show- so, give it another look- tonight at 9 ! And, give this blog space another look tomorrow!

I never expected to be playing the Svengoolie character for as long as I have…when I started in 1979, who knew that , 28 years later, I’d still be putting on the black tuxedo jacket …well- not the same one…I think I’ve told the story of how eventually we had to expand my double breasted jacket to a TRIPLE- breasted jacket, adding an new row of buttons to compliment my amazing expanding waistline (hey- I was very thin, skinny, and under-weight when I first started!)-and finally replacing the original coat a few years back. What did I originally think I’d do for a living? Let’s go all the way back to my childhood (no, there were not still dinosaurs roaming the earth then)- I think I originally wanted to be a fireman –mainly because sliding down that brass pole like guys I saw on tv looked like fun! In grade school, I could draw pretty well, and it was pretty much decided that I’d be some sort of cartoonist- and, due to my vocal skills, maybe even do some cartoon voices! This transitioned to wanting to write or draw comic books.( Little did I realize that someday I’d be friends with one of the best in the comics business- Alex Ross- and know full well I never would have had a chance in Hades!) One teacher felt that would be a waste, and that I should work on becoming a senator or a congressman –oh, come on! Isn’t government screwed up enough as it is?! Around junior high, for at least a short time, I even thought I’d like to become an FBI agent (which made a lot more sense than wanting to be Batman…) I think at least part of that would be attributed to “the FBI” tv show that was on at the time.(See? TV was a big influence on me, even before I got involved in it!) It was around there that I started to get bored with things like advanced mathematics- and leaning more towards performance-type work. I was becoming a big fan of various radio personalities at around that time- fascinated by the creative radio work especially being done at the old WCFL. Guys like Jim Runyon, Ron Britain, Barney Pip, my future mentors Dick “ChickenMan” Orkin, and finally Jerry G. Bishop –plus Jim Stagg, Joel Sebastian and others. I never dreamed that, within About ten years, I’d be working with a lot of these guys! I was amazed to find out that our high school had a real fm radio station (not a closed-circuit station like most schools had)- and that I could become a part of it! I also got involved in the drama department, while advancing in the music department as well. I finally realized that it WAS possible to be one of those guys on the radio or television. Although I had always thought I’d mainly be in radio- I’ve ended up doing both, with a majority of my work in television. So, the professions of fireman, congressman, etc, are no doubt breathing sighs of relief even as you read this! And- come to think of it- so am I…

Yesterday, I was regaling you with a bunch of movie titles for films I’ve never seen, but think might be fun for the Sven show. Keep in mind that most of these probably don’t have a tv rights distributor- but- who know? We may stumble onto some of them in the future. I was checking through a reference book, and found several great titles that made me wish I could dig up these films. Whether they’re actually good or not doesn’t matter- after all, how many times have we shown some real clinkers on Sven? On with our list- stating with “Luther the Geek!” No, this isn’t a hybrid CW network show, combining Lex Luthor with “Beauty and the Gook” rejects- this one involves an honest –to-gosh carnival geek (whose talent is biting the heads off chickens – not rubber ones, either)- who decides to invade a Midwestern farmhouse (no, not the one where Clark and Martha Kent live) and let the mayhem begin! Supposedly this is a big cult flick- how have I missed it?! Here’s one I’d love to find- “Mary, Mary, Bloody Mary!” It’s not a guide on making a popular drink- it’s about a painter –Christina Ferrare- who just happens to be a vampire. I guess she must not have fangs, because she impales her victims with a hair pin! John Carradine supposedly makes an appearance in a cape, but there’s no indication if he’s playing a vampire or Frank Costanza’s lawyer. Ever seen “Mirror,Mirror?” It appears to be a hybrid of “Carrie” and various other films- with a new girl moving into a new house and a new school, where she isn’t fitting in well. In her new bedroom is an old mirror-and the more she spends time looking into it- the more mayhem begins to occur at her new school! Information gives the film a feminist slant, saying all the men in the movie are good-natured dorks or easily-manipulated victims of evil girlfriends.The cast on this one includes Karen Black , our heroine of “Trilogy of Terror”- and Yvonne DeCarlo-Lily Munster! Two sequels have been made, but none seems as interesting as the original. One more? You betcha. How about “Mosquito?!” Not the joke one in that John Goodman movie where he was supposed to be William Castle- this one involves mutant mosquitoes from outer space! We again get Gunnar Hansen, the original Texas Chainsaw Massacre “Leatherface” as part of the cast- involving a chainsaw! It’s supposedly redneck horror comedy. As Jeff Foxworth might say- “If you get a giant mosquito bite on your neck-you might have a redneck!” Bring on Larry the Raid Guy. If you’ve seen any of these- let me know! It’s the usual address-svengoolie@wciu.com - tell me if they truly are Sven fodder! Or, if you know of some others I haven’t seen or read about- share the wealth!

‘What movies do you wish you could show?” That’s a question I get quite a bit- and, I was just thinking- what movies would I just like to SEE- much lass run on the show? I was researching something, and , got caught up in looking at the list of movies in the book- so, I thought I’d mention some of the films I read about in there, that I’ve never seen- but would certainly like to tackle on our show! Even though Christmas is past, I’d love running “Elves!” This 1989 horror film , starring the likes of Dan “Grizzly Adams” Haggerty and Deanna “Land of the Giants” Lund, falls right into the “black Christmas” stocking- when some near-death Nazis hiding in America experiment and create these nasty little Hardrocks, Cocos, and Joes. The elves are supposedly very fake-looking little models, and, despite the elf angle, this movie has some nastiness unsuitable for younger and more sensitive viewers. Then, I read about an anthology film that I’d love to have- just for the title alone-“Hellblock 13 !” I’m a sucker for multiple story films- and this one- about a woman who’s on Death Row, and writes stories, seems like it’s got everything- murders, witchcraft, vengeance from the grave, and madness- all told to prison guard Gunnar Hansen- the original Leatherface from “Texas Chainsaw Massacre!” Now THAT’S entertainment! As is another title I noticed-“the Invisible Maniac!” Called a cross between “the Invisible Man”; and “Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde”- a murderous mad scientist invents an invisibility serum. He ends up working at a high school during summer school- and has such incredible adventures as visiting the girls’ locker room. Guess we’d have to have our pixilation effect in high gear for this one. Here’s one I’ve been missing-“Link!” (Missing link?) This one sounds like a made-to-order Sven film- about a carnivorous monkey! Picture a remote seaside mansion- where Terrence Stamp and Elisabeth Shue are conducting experiments on primates. Before Stamp can tell his chimpy pals “you must kneel before General Zod”- there’s general chaos as the simians start chowing down on victims. Maybe Elisabeth could do a sequel- “Adventures in Monkey-Sitting!” This is too much fun- let’s hit a few more tomorrow!

It’s always fun to hear stories about other people having an encounter with Sven fans! Just recently, one of our editor-producers told me this one…he and his family had gone out to a restaurant in town, and had another couple with two small children seated near them. Their waitress was tending to the tables, and being very friendly. She stopped at the other group’s table, and was chatting with them, and started asking the kids questions. “Tell her your name” said the mom (who, according to my co-worker, looked kind of like Alanis Morrisett!)-and the older of the two boys, who was around four years old, kept saying something that my friend thought sounded like “Julie”(?!)The waitress replied “Sounds like someone is having an identity crisis here!” Anyway, that group left, and the waitress came to my friend’s table, and was complimenting his baby daughter (who certainly deserves compliments!) “No identity crisis with THIS kid!” joked my co-worker. “Oh, you heard that?” the waitress laughed-“yeah, that kid kept trying to tell me that his name was ‘Svengoolie!’” My friend then revealed that he worked here at the station, which still didn’t get him any deduction on his bill. We laughed about the fact that the little boy must have been a fan, and, since this was at about 8:30 on a Saturday night, was perhaps anticipating going home to watch the program! It’s always fun to hear stories like that- I often hear other stories from people who’ve worn their Sven t-shirts somewhere, and had people come up to them to talk about the show, tell stories of how it’s affected them or why they like it (or-ahem- that they didn’t know it was still on- there’s still people who, after 12 years, somehow never stumble upon proof that I still exist…how could we fix that?) Sometimes, a simple mention of Berwyn in a conversation will start a whole Sven discussion! If you’ve got a similar story, feel free to let me know about it- drop it to svengoolie@wciu.com or, should that fail, our archaic AOL address- svenonu@aol.com - I’d be happy to share some of the stories right here!

I was sad to learn recently that a friend from my days at WCKG- Allan Stagg- had passed away. It was reported in Rob Feder’s column in the Sun Times last week that Allan had died of pneumonia at the too- early age of 55. I met Allan when I started doing mornings at ‘CKG in 1989. From the very start, he was really supportive, appreciated the creative stuff we were trying to do, and always threw in a few crazy ideas for bits. One of his contributions was, when we were doing the fake broadcast of the after –Thanksgiving “Carcass Day Parade” supposedly in Berwyn (which fooled several people into thinking it was real), Allan suggested that one float be a huge gravy boat loaded with turkey gravy, which would then tip over- only to be cleaned up by a group marching in the parade, the Berwyn “Brawny Lads.” He always came up with off-the-wall gags, and had a terrific twisted sense of humor. He’d pull me in to record strange bits with him for his shows, and told us some great bizarre stories- one in which he and a friend tried to fool people into thinking they were aliens by wrapping themselves in aluminum foil! He was a good friend to me, and I’ll never forget that deep, sandpaper voice. He spent his final days broadcasting in Michigan where he had moved with his family. My deepest sympathy and support to them- I’ll keep them in my thoughts. Just like everyone else, as we get older, we lose friend, people who came through our lives for brief periods as our jobs and careers took various turns. I’ve had friends leave far too soon- felt the shock of learning of a suicide- heard of people who had been an influence in my life, whether they knew it or not, passing- and had people whom I enjoyed knowing for even a short time leave this mortal world a lesser place by their exits. Let’s hope that they are making wherever they’re going a better place, and know that we appreciated them. Here’s to Allan Stagg- and I know that he’d be making some joke right now. I think I’ll just wait until tomorrow to do that…

I guess I have to address this one more time- since I’ve gotten a few more complaints. I know, from the e-mail feedback, that many of you again enjoyed “Abbott and Costello Meet the Mummy”- and that a part of that is seeing our “Gold Digger” parody one more time. (It got play at some major clubs in Chicago the past few months, by the way, and was a big favorite with the crowds!) But- I’m getting a handful of complaints again- “What’s with all this ‘Abbott and Costello’’ stuff? Where are the Universal classics?” So- let me again pass on the facts… Our management worked for well over a year and a half to get a deal with Universal. The Universal films had not been seen on free broadcast television for over a decade, and not even been offered to any local television stations for at least that long. The rights have mainly been tied up with cable networks (funny how one of them- AMC- had a bunch of Universal films that they sat on all year long, every year - except October- but- since our deal was made, have been running them again… hmmm…) We finally reached a deal that allows us many of the Universal classics, plus other films chosen by Universal. It was THEM who put together our schedule, giving us the films when they were not committed to other sources, like the cable nets (when you’ve seen some of the films on AMC lately- THAT’S why we haven’t had them yet.)The reruns of the films Were set by Universal, to repeat them while they still were free. Though I can’t say I’d choose to repeat them so near the previous run, I will say that these movies are much more conducive to repeat viewing than some of the stuff we’ve had! By spring 2007, we will begin running a whole slew of the classics, which you’ve been asking about…and, when our production schedule allows, we’ll add in some new segments to repeats as well. I know some of you miss “Svensurround” and we will be adding some in an upcoming film that, though an early work of a now-famed horror director- is VERY slow-moving. I’m ready for complaints when we do so-along with the kudos from most of you. I know we can’t please everyone – I’ve certainly learned that first-hand through all my years in this business. But, let’s face it, folks- nobody gets what they want- just the way they want it- all the time. With that said, I’ll ruin more people’s day by writing again tomorrow…

It’s Ladies Night tonight on Svengoolie- all right, it’s actually “Mummy’s Night”- though some ladies will be showing up… We’ve got another run of “Abbott and Costello Meet the Mummy”, the last film that Bud and Lou did for Universal. The studio wanted to keep milking the cash cow they discovered existed when they did “A & C Meet Frankenstein” -so they kept trying to match the comedy team up with various Universal monsters. This time, the Mummy drew the short straw! Or, was it bandage? Since this is late in the duo’s career, there are times when they seem to just be going through the familiar motions, but it’s a pretty good movie none the less…a few things to look out for- although Bud and Lou had character names in the film that are different from their real names- they constantly call each other by their real names! You also will notice someone very familiar as the head of the ancient Egyptian cult- a much thinner Richard Deacon- best known these days from his work as Mel Cooley in the classic “Dick Van Dyke Show!” For those who have only seen him as Mel, I guess it’s sort of hard to take him seriously as an evil presence! One part of this show that we’ve gotten a lot of requests to rerun is our song. It’s a take-off on the Kanye West “Gold Digger” tune, and we did a nice music video for it- featuring our former co-worker Sarah as a very winsome mummy- and our friend Candi from B 96 fm as a tomb digger. We tried to do things that parallel some of the stuff in the original video, and I think the end product is a lot of fun to watch. We have rerun it, and also done some “behind the scenes” stuff regarding it here in our video room, but tonight, you’ll get to see it within the movie’s context. This movie brings two questions to mind- one being, “when will you finally show ‘A & C Meet Frankenstein’?” We’ll finally get the rights to it this fall, so you can see how these monster pair-ups got started. The other question- “when are you going to show some of the actual Mummy horror films?” Never fear- we’ll have a bunch of the films , from the Mummy cycle that ran from the early 30s through to the mid 40s coming up starting this summer- including the original Karloff “Mummy.” But tonight- we’ve got two goofs and a lot of gauze- so, tune in! As long as your mummy says you can stay up that late (yeah, I’m just as sick of those “mummy/mommy” jokes as you are…)

I get a lot of questions regarding the movies on the show- how do we get them? Why can’t we get certain ones? So, I thought today I would write a little about the way movies come to us. Most of the time, movies are offered to us by a distribution company. More of these companies used to be off-shoots of the actual studios that made the films, but that isn’t always true these days. These distributors have movie packages- groups of movies that we purchase for a certain amount of time, during which we have the sole broadcast rights for our region. What that means is, say, if we purchase a film called “Killer Mushrooms from Berwyn” from a distributor- we are the only station in our area that can run that movie. Sometimes the contracts are for a certain period of time- say, two years- or, even for a certain number of times we can run each film. When the contract ends, unless we re-purchase the film, we can no longer run it on the station. Another type of movie we get is a “barter” movie- this is a movie that a distributor offers to us, on a very limited run- often just one or two showings- that includes several commercials already added. There is less time for our local commercials in movies like this, since the “national” commercials are already in place. The other movies we get are “public domain” movies- these are films that somehow copyright has fallen through the cracks, meaning once you get a copy of it- you can run it forever. You see a lot of the public domain films, since they are usually not very expensive, and anyone who has a copy can run it as much as they like. “It’s a Wonderful Life” was a public domain feature, which is why, for a while, you saw it everywhere, but someone finally found something about it that was still under copyright- possibly the music in the film- and NBC seems to hold the sole rights to its television showings at this point. Another thing- just because you can buy a copy of a movie at your local video store doesn’t mean we can buy a copy there and show it on air. Rights for home video are different from broadcast rights. Some movies actually don’t even have a distributor for television rights. As I’ve mentioned before, a lot of movies that used to be made available to local stations by distributors now go to cable networks and channels- it’s a lot less hassle for the distributors, and they probably make more money on a lump sum one-stop distribution like that. They give the cable operation full exclusivity in many cases, giving them the sole rights to run the movies. This was the case with the Universal movies that we finally managed to get-through a lot of hard work, we worked out a schedule for them when there were “holes” in the contracts with the cable nets. I know you all really appreciate the Universal flicks being “home” again on the Sven show, and I hope you appreciate the long hard work that management did to get them. Whew! Was that too technical for ya? Hope you got a little insight into the way the movies come to us! We just happen to Have one for tomorrow night- come by tomorrow and I’ll tell you about it!

If there’s one thing that I know just about every Sven fan loves-it’s the songs on the show. People ask me how many song parodies I’ve written- and, to be honest, I’ve got no count. Just estimating, seriously, I’d have to guess , between my Sven stuff, the things I’ve done on my other tv shows, radio shows, and stuff just for my own ( and my friends) amusement- it’s got to be well over a thousand. Recently, Glen from Waukegan wrote, and asked what process I go through when I write a song parody-do I come up with an idea, then pick the song, or do I think of a song and then write the lyrics- and, when does Doug Graves get involved in the process? How much of the instrumentation does he play in the parodies? Well, usually, I try to match something from the movie to a song where the “hook” (main recognizable phrase) sounds like something that comes from the movie- a phrase, a character name, the title of the film. I used to frustrate one of the guys who was a production assistant here, because he’d try to come up with a song title that sounded like the movie title- then I’d tell him what I decided to use, with a title that was nothing like the movie title, and he’d yell “What? How does THAT fit?” So, I’d have to explain to him my strange logic… once I’ve chosen a song- and before I’ve really written the lyrics- I let Doug know what song it’s going to be, so he can find a copy of it if he doesn’t know it well (which is rare!) He will sometimes get a copy of the tune just so he can try to match a lot of the riffs used in the original recording. Then, I’ll go through the original song, and decide how much of it, and which parts we’ll use, so Doug can start working on the track. He pretty much plays everything that you hear! At this point, I usually still haven’t written all the lyrics- so, I dive in to the song , in the format that we’ll use, and using my notes from screening the movie, write the lyrics. It’s often a pleasant surprise TO ME when stuff from the movie matches up with words that sound like the song’s original lyrics. When we’re in the studio, about to tape the segment- it’s the first time I’ve heard what Doug has done, and vice-versa. We’ll run through it once or twice so I can get things right- then we put it to tape. Later, in post-production, our editor (and director) Chris will match footage that I’ve chosen to fit the words into the song. People always ask about us putting out a cd of the songs- but, do they stand up on their own outside the movie? Do the lyrics make sense if you’re not seeing the visuals, or haven’t been watching the whole film so that you understand what we’re alluding to? I guess some might stand up better than others. I just know that, from the mail I get, most people look forward to the song every week. Doug always does a great job on those background tracks, doing the arrangement and all the instrumentation. He also will throw in little touches that I didn’t think of that make things work even better! As I’ve said- we’re the only show on local tv that does a new song every week- sung by a guy who can’t really sing!

Mistakes? I make ‘em by the boatload. I often get corrected for some trivial fact that I’ve gotten wrong that I mention in a Sven or Stooges program. Seems like I made a mistake last week in my blog, too…I was writing about my love for “A Christmas Story” and how much I enjoyed it’s author’s work…but I guess I’m not a big enough fan to spell his name right! I hereby restore the correct spelling to Jean SHEPHARD! Thanks to the folks who corrected me.(Even though I spelled it with an ‘e’- and didn’t shoot my ‘i’ out!) Check out some of the books of his short stories, like “In God We Trust- All Others Pay Cash.” Speaking of paying - and no personal checks- I’ve got to say that I was impressed by the wide range of locations that our Sven t-shirts were ordered from during the holiday season. Displaced former Chicagoans all over the country were snapping them up as gifts! Thanks to the Internet, long lost Sven fans connect up with us again…most bemoan the fact that they can’t see the show where they currently live, and bring up favorite things from back when they COULD watch the show! Some watched as recently as a few months ago- and others haven’t seen me since back in my “Son of” days! It’s funny how memory will play tricks- some of them mention watching me on days and at times that my show was never on, and will mention movies I know I never ran…but, like I said, I make enough mistakes- so, who am I to judge?! And then- there are some people who can recite for me, word for word, a song that ran ONCE on the old show…or bring up, in perfect detail, a bit that I never would have recalled if they hadn’t brought it up! It isn’t too often that someone will bring up something that I don’t remember at all- but it will occasionally happen. Anyway, we get letters from Seattle, L.A., Kentucky, Alabama, New York, Boston, Orlando, Arizona, even Alaska … so, if you’re ever visiting another city and see someone wearing a Sven shirt, take a picture and send it to us! It’s amazing to think that I’m glowing in the dark all over this fine country of ours… Sometimes, I hear about people who tell other people that they’ve met me-but- it wasn’t me! I got an e-mail recently, telling me that someone had told the writer that he had met me in a specific bar…that I’ve never been to! This brings up all sorts of intriguing possibilities- did somebody pretend to be me ( if so, please-aim your sights a little higher!) Did the person actually LOOK like me? Or, was the person who “met” me not sure what Sven looked like in his normal everyday identity? Or-did the imposter look like Sven- long hair, beard, and moustache? (Let’s hope he wasn’t wearing a top hat!?) It boggles the mind…my other favorites are the people who ask me if I’m me- and then spend a half hour not believing it, arguing with me that I’m NOT me! Usually, after a few tries at logic, I just agree with them –yes, you’re right! I’m purposely wasting your time! How could I POSSIBLY be him? He’s not as good-looking as I am, anyway…(after which, I cover my face to avoid frightening children and small dogs…) So, if you ever run into me out on the street- make sure it’s really me! You can always double-check by e-mailing me at svengoolie@wciu.com afterward, and confirm your sighting. You could draw an “x” on me, and wait and see if I show up on tv with it (NO! I’M KIDDING! IT’S A JOKE!!!)

The end of 2006 brought about the end of a long-time institution- the “TV Prevue” magazine of tv listings that you’d get every Sunday with the Sun Times. The feeling is that people can now get their listings on-line, or through their cable box- and even in the daily newspaper, so why print up the book? I can’t say that I’m going to miss it, in the form that it’s been in- for some stupid reason, the book in the Sun Times was the EXACT SAME BOOK that was in the Tribune! They would just have different covers, but everything else was the same – from the “TV Mailbag” letters, to the weekly highlights. I always thought the whole point was to do something different from the competition, not the exact same thing. Both of these tv listing books used to be far different- they actually mentioned LOCAL programming and personalities, and did stories about them. They answered questions about local people and programs in their “TV Mailbag”- and even featured local stuff on their covers. But- just like with so many other thing